Clarklewis Restaurant — Restaurant in Portland

I don’t know what happened at Clarklewis on Valentine’s Day, but at the end of the night my husband and I felt that we had been robbed.

We arrived 20 minutes before our reservation time and waited 15 minutes to speak to a host. She said the kitchen was running behind but she would take us to the waiting area (the second waiting area, apparently) and someone would take our drink order there. At this point I was still hopeful, figuring I didn’t mind waiting a bit longer if someone put a drink in my hand.

Alas, no one came to take our drink order. We looked around the second waiting area and noticed there were A LOT of people waiting to be seated. Someone exclaimed that there were twice as many people in the restaurant as there were tables, and the restaurant must have over-booked us.

There was a mix-up with the wait list because it was written on paper. Some customers’ names got written down incorrectly when they were transferred from the computer.

And still no drink, so we tracked down the host and ordered drinks and waited some more. The drinks never arrived. This was hour one of the three-hour evening.

In hour two, we were finally seated at our table. I thought now the evening would turn around. Then I heard a guy near us tell another couple “Congratulations! You received your food!!” This is when I looked around and noticed that all of the dozen or so tables around us had no food, except for the one lucky couple. My husband said it was turning into Lord of the Flies.

At this point we were very thirsty and hungry, but it was another 15 minutes before we got drinks. The server said we shouldn’t bother ordering the wine pairing, because that would have been an even longer wait.

Someone brought some food to us, but I noticed that we hadn’t received the amuse-bouche yet. She looked confused and then said “Oh, we ran out.” Later on in the meal, the lemon sorbet also didn't arrive. How do you run out of multiple items for a prix-fixe meal? Why did no one tell us in advance that we would not be receiving the entire meal that we paid for? Why did no one apologize or offer a discount?

We felt bad for the staff. Many of them seemed stressed, nervous and defensive, and it was a tense experience. I didn’t see anyone who seemed to be taking charge. I don’t know if they were understaffed or what was going wrong. It felt so awkward and we wanted to go home, but the evening dragged on.

The people bringing food out didn’t know what went to which table. Our entrees arrived and were tasty, but the couple next to us had been there quite a while before us and still didn’t have their entrees. They joked that they were being tested (by God? ...Or Ashton Kutcher??).

We asked to take our leftovers to go, but I had a feeling we would never see them again. Sure enough, our tender wagyu beef got thrown away.

The red velvet cake arrived and it tasted very dry. It seemed like it had been sitting out all night.

After three hours of unfortunate events, the check arrived. I thought surely there would be some kind of discount and apology for this nightmare of an evening and the fact that two of the prix-fixe menu items were not available, but no. It was full price for an incomplete dinner, plus two drinks, a 10% surcharge, and more for the tip, bringing the bill to nearly $400. I was shocked. I think that was the most expensive meal I’ve ever had, while simultaneously being the worst dining experience of my life.

It was surreal. I’ve never seen an entire restaurant fail on every level, to the point that every couple there was extremely disappointed. What happened? We laughed as one thing after another went wrong. After we got home I told my husband that was definitely the most memorable Valentine’s meal...

Updated review October 2024:

We decided to give this place a second change (see original 1 star review below). The owner actually reached out to my husband (not knowing I made this original review) and sent him a gift card to apologize for the Valentine’s Day debacle, which I thought was a very thoughtful gesture (since my husband didn’t even leave a review, they must have just been going through the guest list to apologize). This time the experience as much better. Our waitress was attentive, we were seated quickly. She apologized for a “long” wait for the food but it wasn’t long at all. The cocktails came out super quick. All the food… amazing. High quality, so tasty. The cocktail I got “first frost” did remind me of fall. I feel this place does better as a special night out restaurant as opposed to a special occasion (valentines) restaurant if that makes sense. I think they’ve definitely redeemed themselves. I would go back, maybe not for a pre fixe Menu again, but definitely for a special dinner or pre event dinner.

Leaving at 4 stars since my first experience was wildly different.

We go out for a Valentines Pre-fixe menu every year because it’s also my birthday. I was so excited to try this restaurant. Never have I ever had an experience like this. It is easily the worst dining experience I’ve had in my life.

We had 545 reservations, when we got there no acknowledgment from the staff we were even in the room, no greeting. Took around 5 minutes of me trying to make eye contact with people for someone to finally acknowledge us. We got to our table and I went with the wine pairings, my husband tried to order and IPA only to be told they were out, no big deal he got a whiskey. His drink came right away, mine however did not.

After around 30 minutes we got our amuse bouche and appetizers. Both of these were very good, they tasted great. No wine to be seen. When I asked my waitress she said she was trying to find the wine guy. I could clearly see her in the kitchen not finding the wine guy lol. When I asked a second time about 30 minutes later she got very snippy with me and said only the wine guy is allowed to give me wine. Eventually I was able to find him and wave him down about 1hr 45 minutes into this ordeal. Wine was great it helped soften this disaster.

2 hours in to a dinner we thought would take a total of 2 hours and we receive our salad. Without the croutons, everyone else got croutons. The couples next to us had been sitting over an hour without even an entree, another couple got there at 530 and by 8 still hadn’t gotten their entree.

Finally after a total of 2 hours and 45 minutes we decided to call it. Luckily the waitress comped our meal and my wine pairings, but she charged us for a beer we never got. At that point we were gonna dispute it as it took 20 minutes to get the check, and we wanted to get out as soon as possible.

It was truly memorable in the worst way. Never have I experienced anything like this before. Wait staff had no idea where the food was going, multiple times giving people the wrong items. We almost got served appetizers again but I directed them to the right table, when the customers know the tables better than the staff you know it’s truly messed up management wise.

I don’t know if there’s any recovering from this. I truly believe they should have comped everyone’s meal and it makes me sad to see people still paid for this awful experience.

Our bus/water boy was amazing, he was the only good part about this mess.

I would never give this place another try, I’m so disappointed. Don’t waste your time or your money, they provide a subpar experience. We ended up...

We made reservations for the $125 prix fixé Valentine’s dinner weeks ago. After waiting more than an hour, with no one serving drinks in the waiting room as promised, and watching the craziness of a “classic” Portland restaurant full of tables, half set for Valentine’s Day, 50% of which were unoccupied, we decided to rethink our Valentine’s Day dinner plans. I had been looking forward to trying this restaurant for the first time since it opened, but will take my business elsewhere with no trace of wistful regret. We arrived on time for our 7 PM reservations, just to stand in line for 15 minutes watching a frustrated manager, type with gray curls and a button-down shirt, set food disgustedly down on the workspace and walk away from the kitchen. We knew that things weren’t as cheery in the kitchen as one would hope. when we finally reached the reservationist, they found our reservation and we were led to a waiting area and we were told that there would be a server coming to take our drink order. We were led through the restaurant to a back room where other couples were languishing in this purgatory. the best part about it was the playlist. Al Green, Bill Withers, among others, crooning about lovely days and staying together; true irony in this Kafkaesque Portlandia cutting room floor scene. Good God. I love Valentine’s Day, but I’ve had more than my share of negative experiences on February 14. Nevertheless, I’m a consummate proponent of this hallmark cheese fest day, I love the cellophane candy boxes, flowers, dinner, XOXOXO, and all of that! I still love it. When we were brought to purgatory, we asked how long it might be, and the poor worker said “they told us there’s no telling”. There was another room full of people waiting next-door who were all still there when we decided to abort our mission after an hour listening to Reverend Al, stomachs growling. We found refuge at our go to bar Rione and ate delicious pasta from Piazza Italia next-door in a very calm, relaxing, cozy slice of paradise for less than half of one clarklewis Valentine’s “special “. Our bartender, Justin, commiserated with us, having worked for clarklewis’ owners at 23 Hoyt, and recommended we write a poor review so that people could know how badly things went at clarklewis. It was 180° at bar Rione; at the risk of opening it up to more people knowing about this gem, I think it’s best that people know that this Plan B turned out to be five stars in relation to clarklewis’ negative stars. When we left clarklewis, there was a huge line of people queued out the door waiting to be seated, with more pouring in, all smiles and anticipation. Little did they know…What a complete disaster. Bar Rione...