Lazy Jack's — Restaurant in Portsmouth

It is rare that I give such a low rating, but we were not impressed with Lazy Jacks.

My wife and I discovered this little place while walking thru the alley where the tugboats are parked.

We stopped in for a cool drink and something to eat. We sat in a seat overlooking the river and the tugboats. We both ordered a margarita. The friendly waitress asked if we wanted sugar or salt on the rim, and both of us asked for salt. She came back in less than a minute with the drinks.

This is where our opinion of the place changed. These were the worst attempt at margaritas that we have ever experienced. It is no big deal that neither of these had salt on the rim, but the problem is that these were in no way made to order for us, as we got them so quickly. So, this leads me to believe that they were pre-made, which is fine, as some places will do that. However - they were horrible. My wife and I both were disappointed. The sour mix they used was terrible, the whole drink tasted like dirty water, and there was no hint of lime or tequila in either drink. This is when we put our menus down, asked for the check, and decided to move on to another place. Our thoughts were, that if their signature drinks were this bad, we were in NO way going to gamble with our health and eat their food.

The final nail in the coffin was the price for these 2 cocktails. They were $9 each.

I do not think we will be back.

If you go to this place, I sincerely hope your experience is...

There is a sign which says seat yourselves which was not a problem. The problem was we had to find a server to bring us menus because all the servers were sitting on their phones in the corner talking. We got our menus and ordered. My mom had ordered a drink and had asked for Tito’s instead of well. We had saw them making the drink and she had used well. We thought no big deal we can just remind them that she had wanted Tito’s. The server had sworn it was Tito’s (once again, we saw the pour). We got our food, which was amazing. But then we had finished eating and our server was no where to be found. All of the servers were in the corner room on their phones and talking. We had to ask another server for our check which was not too big of a deal but frustrating. We then got the check and we were charged for the premium drink since my mom had wanted Tito’s but didn’t receive it. Once again we had been promised it was Tito’s. This typically wouldn’t have been too frustrating if it wasn’t for the fact that we watched it all happen. As you see on my review the food and the location was amazing but the service truly could...

It was $100 (tip included) to feed my husband, our 3 yr old and myself. The clam chowder was watery and bland. The caprese salad was a decent size but the tomato wasn’t ripe. It was so hard I didn’t finish eating it. The Ruben, that was a special, was dry. Fish and chips haddock (it was the more expensive “platter” because they don’t do “baskets” after 4pm) had well cooked, fresh fish but it was unseasoned. The batter was a weird texture so we pulled it off. The tartar sauce was gross and the coleslaw was so sweet it was inedible. My kid kept spitting out the chicken tenders, but he’s a toddler so I can’t be sure exactly what that was about. They don’t have milk either, so my toddler got a water which is fine but an additional non-soda option would be appreciated for an evening meal. I will say the fries were decent. So basically we paid $100 bucks for 3 servings of fries. The waitress was great, so if she’s reading this, it’s not you! You’re doing a good job! We just won’t go back. Hopefully it was...