The Goods — Restaurant in Portsmouth

If I could give this business a -10 star review I would not hesitate to do so.

An unreasonably poor choice out of all the options available to you in Portsmouth. Today I entered the shop (no greetings from the two people behind the counter), decided on a GF everything bagel and went to the counter to order. The male employee working that morning must be allergic to people because he was about as abrupt as possible, acting as though it was insulting to have to wait on me. I ordered my bagel, toasted, to go, with cream cheese and peanut butter...It was $9.16 for a bagel with toppings, I feel no remorse in commenting that for one bagel this is a pretty steep price. He rudely accepted my payment, and could hardly afford to waste 2 words from his "oh holier than thou" mouth on a thank you to me. After waiting (the wait time was probably the only thing done RIGHT this morning), I took my tin foiled wrapped breakfast and departed. I started walking and opened my bagel to reveal a gooey, unmanageable mess of peanut butter and butter (not what I ordered). I didn't feel like going back to deal with the unpardonably poor service and I was starving, so I started to eat. Sure enough, by my 4th bite I had a 4 inch long blonde/grey hair in my bagel all mashed into the peanut butter. Gross.

If you want to spend a lot of money to not get what you ordered, be treated like wet garbage, and find someone else's hair in your food - this establishment is for you! Fortunately, you'll get treated like crap and served a gross, wrong order quickly. Maybe that's the...

I've tried this place over 6 separate times over the course of a year, and I have never once had a good experience. I'm not gonna rant, I'm just gonna let my experiences speak for themselves. You can do whatever you want with this information.

Got a chicken and rice dish. There were 3 small pieces of chicken, mushy rice, and a wet runny sauce that soaked through the to-go dish. This meal was over $12. Ordered a smoothie. There were 4 customers in the store. My smoothie took 15 minutes. Tasted okay. Tried some of their fresh dipped chocolate pretzels. $5 for a few small pieces, all of which were incredibly stale. Wanted to buy a bag of Port City Pretzels (a product they don't even make, just resell). Went at 3pm on a day they closed at 4pm. The door was locked. An employee looked me in the eyes, turned off the lights, and left for the day.

Each time I went, I expected less and less from this place. Yet somehow, they still managed to come well under even the most mediocre of restaurants. The staff is rude and the food is passable at its very best. The only reason I can think of for why this place is still open in a town like Portsmouth is that their location is perfect for constantly getting new customers. Do yourself a favor and don't be...

A very meh experience. We had the Jerusalem Falafel Wrap, which was fine, but nothing to write home about.

For those who are fans of Matcha Lattes, I would not get one here. I received a cup with what appeared and tasted like it had hardly any matcha tea in it (barely light green) and a crazy amount of foam on top. Sad because their menu even calls it an “Authentic Japanese Matcha Latte”, which made me think it would be made with high quality matcha, mixed with a bamboo whisk and properly steamed milk.

When I went to return the beverage and replace it, I was kindly offered a refund of the drink, but then was weirdly insulted - told I must not like the Matcha because they use “ceremonial grade” (even though I drink very high quality matcha every day and have been to Japan where I source my matcha, and this was not that quality) and was told that the Almond Milk in my drink was a bad choice and is why I didn’t like it. (Again, I drink this all the time.) Weird comments when I was already offered a solution. I bet other items are good here based on the reviews that lead me to give them a try, but there are a lot of other places in Portsmouth I’ll be...