Perry's Porch — Restaurant in Saint Petersburg

I decided to write a review after dinning at Perry’s Porch twice last week and being so sorely disappointed with the experience. We dine out quite regularly and I have to honestly say, this was probably the most frustrating and underwhelming Resturaunt experience I have had in many years.

Our first experience was Valentine’s Day dinner. We had a reservation and were very eager to dine. Upon arrival we were seated on the porch. Immediately 4 things came to my mind.

The servers were all dressed very sloppy. For the art behind the design of the restaurant they all appeared to be a very poor representation of what i believe most people expected from this restaurant. The porch was very empty. For being the main seating area and saying they are currently reservation only. We were 1 of 4 tables seated out there and the back part of the porch was completely empty. It gave the impression that either their staff could not handle high volume or they did not have enough staff to seat people at every table. The music did not set the stage for the space and was very disjointed and uninviting. the choice of cups and china missed the mark and was rather cheap.

We ordered pigs in a blanket as an app. A good explanation would be similar to the kind of pigs in a blanket your mom made you at home as a kid with store bought dough and meat. For a main dish, we both had Chicken Franchise- the chicken was so soggy and fatty that we questioned if it was fully cooked.

The second visit we took friends and were kindly seated without a reservation, on an empty porch, again making me question whether staff could handle high volumes because they were turning people away. This time, the staff were all wearing a conglomerate of attire (some polos, some dress shirts with ties), there was no music, the umbrella on the porch was not up and we were constantly fighting leaves and nuts falling on our heads and food… we ordered the tuna tartare as an appetizer- when it arrived it had no bread or chip or accompaniment- being people who regularly dine out and order dishes like this- that was shocking. We requested a chip and were given bruschetta crusteenes. One of our friends had celiac disease and we were told the kitchen is small and they cannot promise any accommodation…okay, fair. We ordered Bucatini which was good but the portion was remarkably small and would not fill anyone up, chicken franchise- again, not good, Burrata with a side of chicken which was served shredded on a separate plate with seemingly no flavor or seasoning and snapper. We did have desert which was pretty good.

I write this because as regular restaurant goers we were quite excited about Perry’s opening. I do think the location sits on a wealth of potential and the design of the restaurant is a great start- however the interior is quite small and I would not be happy sitting in there as the ambience is quite awkward. From my perspective the restaurant was incredibly unprepared to open and the staff is highly untrained and unwelcoming. The production of the restaurant and marketing gives high end vibes but the experience is rather cheap. Given that we spent close to $500 in two visits I could not be less impressed. I do hope that the restaurant can figure things out or I don’t foresee the best future for Perry’s.

Very open to chatting with management and providing additional feedback and...

We were soooo excited for this place, but it quickly turned into one of worst dinner/birthday/date nights that we have ever had… here’s the good: the location is perfect and the place is beautiful. And that’s where the good ends. Now for the bad: I made a reservation for 7pm to celebrates my girlfriend’s birthday. We get there and the host said it would be a little while for our table as they were “cleaning it off”, we were told to have a seat on a bench next to the host stand that was covered in water because it had rained a few hours prior. 20 minutes later we’re finally brought to our table. I requested a window seat, in the hopes that we would possibly get a nice view of the pier and sunset. Instead we received the finest bathroom waiting area seating directly across from a wide open door on a chilly night. Didn’t realize I had requested outdoor bathroom seating for my girlfriend’s birthday and would have an endless line of traffic filing past our table and bumping our chairs. Our server Lexi greets us very unenthusiastically. We order wine and an appetizer. Wine was great, appetizer took another 25 minutes. A little while later our entrees hit the table, my girlfriend’s chicken is completely pink inside. My meal was okay. I ask Lexi to please have my girlfriend’s chicken cooked a little more and she seemed bothered by this, even with how noticeably undercooked the chicken was. I’m sorry that we didn’t want my girlfriend getting sick on her birthday. During all of this, I see servers bringing out birthday desserts for other patrons. Now I didn’t expect a birthday dessert to come out, but a simple happy birthday from our server, from the host, or from the manager who was also hovering around this one area of the bar. It’s also standard procedure for a manager to do a table touch on any table with an issue. Especially undercooked chicken. We never heard a peep from this manager. Long story short, we were left still hungry, extremely disappointed and would never recommend this restaurant. It’s very unfortunate because as I stated, it’s a gorgeous place in a perfect location, but the staff is much...

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a Pinterest brunch board collided with a Michelin star ego and washed ashore at the St. Pete Pier—wonder no more. Perry’s Porch is here, and it brought a Charcuterie Board so fancy it probably has its own therapist.

Let’s start with the "To Graze" section—because clearly grazing is what people do when paying $34 for cheese and crackers. The Trufflekopita tried to whisper luxury, but it was giving me strong “Trader Joe’s meets yoga retreat” energy. And don’t even get me started on the Lil’ Pigs. These were not pigs in a blanket—they were pigs in puff pastry, house mustarded within an inch of their lives, and judging me with every bite.

Now for the “To Feast” section: I took a swing at the Chicken Francaise, which was more lemon than chicken. I’m convinced the bird was marinated in an actual citrus grove. Refreshing? Yes. A bit traumatic? Also yes.

And let’s talk about that Snapper. $42 for fish, fregola salad, and some suspiciously quiet maitake mushrooms. My wallet is still in recovery, and so is my palate—because what even is romesco supposed to taste like?

The cocktails? Oh honey, buckle up. I had the Strauberry Park and felt like I was sipping a strawberry’s memoir. The Pink Streets Margarita could power a Vespa. Sweet, strong, and possibly capable of summoning sea turtles.

Here’s the real kicker: everything sounds fancier than it tastes, but they say it with such conviction, you just go with it. Did I enjoy it? Absolutely. Do I understand why the Lemon Tiramisu costs $13? No. Did I eat it anyway? Of course I did.

Pro tip: bring a monocle, a thesaurus, and possibly a backup sandwich. Because Perry’s Porch isn’t just a restaurant—it’s an edible personality test dressed in basil oil and served with a side of existential pricing.

Would I return? Only if I’m trying to impress a date, a food critic, or someone who thinks “bone marrow bordelaise” is a love language.

5 stars for the drama, 3 stars for the food, and a bonus star because they made my sparkling water feel like...