Handline — Restaurant in Sebastopol

So I finally got to eat at handline at my wife's insistence that I try again. My first encounter was trying to eat there during their posted hours only to find they were closed, and then be treated rudely on the phone when I called about it. I wish I hadn't.

You stand in line to order like you are at Mc Fast Food. You order from a person who looks like you are boring them. And taking up your time. Of course you are paying first because it's a "take on burger joints" so you are tipping right then, in front of the staff, even before they have prepared your food. Let that sink in.

One burger, one fry, a fish taco plate, and two pints of beer. $47

Then you find yourself a table and sit down on a bench with your number. You food does not come together as is the practice of decent restaurants everywhere. But they make sure to prime you of this on the menu. Here's a hint, this is a kitchen that does not know how to que tickets.

The fries come first. A tiny order, about the uquivilant of one medium potato. They are pale and lackluster, served on a kitchy camp plate. There is a thimble of watery bland thousand island. The fries are cut across the short direction of the potato so the longest is two inches. One inch is the average. I inquire about the oil because of their odd taste. I'm told they are fried in rice bran oil. Note to self, never cook in rice bran oil, it tastes mildly rancid.

The burger is small and bland on an overly soft brioche bun (I hope this trend dies a sudden death soon). The fish tacos are passable but unremarkable. Everything is served on the camp plates with no other effort given to presentation.

Our beers were good.

I consider myself a foodie, and a passable cook in my own right. I know food. I love food. I also enjoy a bit of pretense and innovation in preparation, presentation, and atmosphere. Pretense for pretense sake with no substance to back it up is ridiculous. This is what I found at Handline. I have eaten with 3 others at Ramen Gajin in Sebastopol and eaten like a king for under $50 total. Full service, amazing food, enjoyable atmosphere.

In short I find nothing to...

My wife and I visit family in Sebastopol often and are always excited when a new lunch and happy hour spot pops up. We really wanted to like this place, but after two visits were sorely disappointed.

There are many things to like about Handline, but they are outweighed by a ton of small things that just add up. I'll start with the positives.

Pros:

They did a great job with the atmosphere Happy hour pricing is nice and they have a good beer selection Nice options for fresh oysters The vegetarian dishes are excellent (coming from a meat lover, that's high praise.

Unfortunately, that's where it ends for me. Handline is very overpriced, to the point where a burger (12) that is usually very undercooked/raw and fries (6), which are tasty, is nearly $20. With Sequoia just down the road with a much better burger, it's criminal.

Much of the food is under seasoned. I had a few of the tacos (the menu is very lacking) and they were not salted and stuffed with undressed cabbage.

Worst of all, you must wait in a painfully slow line to order; of course only one checker is ever present. And you are asked to give a tip before any of your food has even been brought out. Want another beer or soft serve? Get up and get it from the bat, they say.

Oh, and did I mention your food doesn't come out together? Yeah.

The seating is also lacking and very uncomfortable.

This place wants to be good, but at over $70 for lunch for 5 people with just 1 beer and no oysters it is utterly ridiculous. They have a good concept, but a lot to fix if they want to stay...

I visited Handline restaurant for the first time this week and it will be my last. I ordered the fish tacos and when they arrived I could smell them as they were placed in front of me. I took two bites and the smell was so overwhelming, I couldn't finish them as I was afraid of getting sick. ( Side note, I owned a restaurant and know that fresh fish doesn't smell). I took the plate to the counter and quietly told the person that the fish smelled and of my concerns about eating them. He smelled them and said he didn't smell anything and did offer me another entree but I didn't like anything else on the menu and passed. I didn't ask for my money back or was I offered a refund. I just left. I have a very poor sense of smell and rarely smell anything that isn't pungent( think skunks) , and these definitely were terrible. I noticed another customer had the same complaint about the tacos and said he contracted food poisoning. I'm usually very understanding about restaurant service and food, they can have a bad day, however, besides the smelly fish, I noted the prices on the website were outdated and the staff never smiled. There is no excuse to not keep your website prices current (truth in advertising) and a smile is free. Sadly I will never return or recommend...