Chicken Ranch — Restaurant in University Heights

I made my inaugural visit to the Chicken Ranch one balmy afternoon in July. There was a cool breeze in the air, and a warm feeling in my soul. Despite the rich summer swelter, I desired something hearty. Something familiar. Something scrumptious.

And then, I heard it. It was as if a heavenly host of avian angels were suddenly clucking my name. I was drawn by an invisible force flowing through my very being, a movement I’ve not experienced since I was a youthful lad of but fifteen. Invigorating. I can’t explain it, but it was a cosmic nudge that suddenly made me look up and notice that simple, golden sign with those two humble words that nonetheless convey a love story of our time: Chicken Ranch.

Drawn by the aroma, I floated inside to a charming cafe with ample seating and a plethora of beverage options lining the walls. At the end of my trek there appeared a tan, raven-haired Latin goddess who quipped a sly greeting and guided me through the menu like a private tutor preparing her charge for the SATs.

But oh, the variety! Grilled chicken, fried chicken, Tiger shrimp, mahi mahi—something called “kale”! Cornbread, mac and cheese, handmade slaw, crinkle cut fries, Kimchi! And then there are “The Fifteen.” Sauces of all colors and heats ready to dress the cuisine like an award-winning tailor. Could anything be as inspiring?

I defied my fowl friends and went for the mahi mahi Po Boy (#ThisIsCLE). Instantly, mine eyes caught those of the chefs from the window to the kitchen, and I received a wise wink and knowing nod. I’d chosen well. They took to their task with an unbridled enthusiasm, and I found a seat in the dining room to enjoy a Coke and watch a classic film on the TV above.

I didn’t have long though. My order came out in a flash, and before I knew it I was uvula deep in a fish so juicy you’d think it was still swimming around the Pacific. The chili dust flavor, the added sauces—it was a heavenly delight that satisfies my taste buds still days later as I craft this morsel of my life’s meal memoir. Stuffed, I raised my napkin as a white flag, surrendering to the flavor forevermore.

And while some may call me mad for obsessing over a small fried chicken joint in this Melting Pot of Poultry this great country of ours boasts, well my friends, consider that you’ve been marching in Colonel Sanders’ army for far too long. Take shore leave from Popeye’s tug and make your own decision.

But, I warn you, come hungry. They’re not...

TERRIBLE Customer Service & pricey menu for just okay food. The chicken is large and tastes decent but only on a sandwich that has sauce otherwise it needs seasoning. Sides are okay, nothing to write home about. We tried the mac and cheese, sweet potatoes, French fries, slaw and their cornbread. They all seemed to be missing something in addition to needing a temperature check - luke warm. My partner tried the Mahi Mahi and said it tasted like frozen fish and was overcooked. The woman at the front desk is not friendly AT ALL, might as well be a robot. I watched as a customer who had just ordered their food looked at their receipt and realized that a sauce substitution cost a dollar but wasn't told this so she asked for the sauce that was supposed to come with her sandwich and was told that it would be an additional dollar (all sauces are a dollar). I'm watching as this is taking place and I'm even irritated with the reasoning. She asked to speak with a manager calmly and the cashier speaks to a bigger guy who makes unfriendly gestures so the cashier grabs something from the fridge and practically throws it at the lady, as opposed to placing it in the customer's hand. The customer says "you gave me pickles and you threw it". The cashier doesn't apologize, she just says "oh I gave you pickles." So some long haired guy, who seems to have a positive attitude, nicely hands her the correct thing. It's safe to say that lady won't be coming back and I most certainly won't be either. That's just not how you treat people. What...

December 2022: Gave this place a shot during a family night out because it was different and had some good reviews.

We ordered the grilled chicken tenders, the Korean fried chicken sandwich, the blackened fish po boy, the fried chicken wings, cheddar Mac and cheese, baklava, and the baklava cheesecake for about $60 USD total. The food tasted good. The chicken wings were small but crispy. The food portions were not bad neither. The kids ate all of their food, which is huge because they are picky eaters. The Mac n cheese was creamy but was a tad bland. They sprinkled chili powder on top, which helped. The baklava was good, and the baklava cheesecake was interesting taste just to say that we tried it.

There was a choice of sauces, but we went with the black garlic sauce, which was delicious.

Pros: Good tasting food. Clean restaurant Accepts cash, credit, or pay apps The restaurant is more of a takeout restaurant with seating. Nobody will bring the food to you or wait the tables. I think that this works for this particular location.

Cons: We would have liked to sample the sauces prior to buying them. Perhaps, a sampling station could be implemented in the future? Store front parking is very limited. However more parking is available in the rear.

Conclusion: We will be back. The Cleveland area needed a chicken spot that does not overly batter...