When you hear "chocolate museum" you probably think of something along the lines of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Oh no. Sure, there's a working chocolate production line built into the heart of the museum. Sure, robotic arms will feed you little oblongs of chocolatey goodness as you watch smiling workers with floppy chef's hats paint chocolate into Santa and Easter bunny moulds. But before you get there, by god they'll make sure you've earned it. A cold open right into a miniature rainforest (making it really more of a muggily warm open), followed by a thorough breakdown of the socioeconomics of chocolate growing, then sustainable chocolate development, washed down with business statistics from the chocolate-industrial complex. By this time, you've learned enough to write a PhD on chocolate political economy, and as you peer into the gloopy joy working its way through the production line and gaze out onto the Rhine munching your little oblong chocolate piece you think you're done with the learning. Think again. That was just the first floor. Up next is another whole floor on the social and intellectual history of chocolate, delivered among other things in Ancient Mayan, and including a tastefully curated tsunami of global chocolate advertising through the ages. Surely that's the end? Absolutely not. Now it's time for the final floor, the epistemology and cultural theory of chocolate, where Milka cows and Lindt bunnies searchingly ask you what, precisely, is the Platonic Idea of chocolate. Sagging under the physical and mental weight of all the chocolate-related intake you've consumed, you descend back to reality, sent on your way with a final bouquet of little chocolate oblongs to spread the good news to all corners of the earth. In short, it's the perfect museum. 10/10 no notes.