⭐ 1 star. “Came for the glam, stayed for the parking lot existential crisis.” 😬🚗🌀
So I thought, “Hey, PGA Plaza sounds fancy. Probably where the elite go to sip $9 lattes and discuss polo.” ☕🐎
WRONG. It’s where GPS takes you when you tell it you want to feel confused, underwhelmed, and mildly irritated for 47 minutes straight. 😵💫📍
The parking lot? Oh, you mean The Maze of Doom™? Designed by someone who clearly lost a bet. I did six laps just to find a spot... and I'm 90% sure I aged during the process. 🧓🌀
Once I finally parked (illegally... probably), I entered the plaza expecting a charming shopping experience. What I got instead was a strip mall identity crisis — like a mix between “trying to be upscale” and “we gave up halfway through renovations.” 🎭🔨
I popped into three stores. One smelled like forgotten dreams, one had fluorescent lights that personally attacked me, and the third? I swear I was the only person under 70 in there… and I’m not young. 😅👵💔
Even the Starbucks seemed confused about its life choices. My cold brew was lukewarm and my barista looked like he was two espresso shots away from escaping into the Everglades. ☕🌴
Honestly, PGA Plaza gave me the vibe of a once-promising mall that now just haunts your Google Maps out of habit.
Would I come back? Only if blindfolded, bribed, and promised a pony.
1 star for the trauma. But thank you for...
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