The Brunswick Club — Restaurant in Melbourne

Not a spot for bumping nightlife or a good time if you’re under 60.

I walked in to a quiet bar filled with pensioners. Keno and greyhounds played on the tv screens scattered around the room. I sat down with a cold pot and was, I’ll admit, mildly entertained but the senior gentlemen singing Elvis Presley songs into his empty glass. No one really spoke much, focusing mainly on drowning their sorrows.

As I shifted my gaze away from the senior I could see the colourful glow of the pokies machines from across the bar. The somber mood emanating from the poor sods pouring their hard earned into the machines added to the already dreary nature of the place.

Last chance to save the night I thought, so I headed up stairs to play some pool. I swung open the door to the pool room and was surprised to see all the lights off and no one around.

I walked back down to the bar only to find out that pool is members only.

So that was a wrap. I walked out leaving the bad vibes...

Do not join this club if you want to play snooker. 3 out of the 6 tables are for competition and not available to new members.

There is no booking system for the other 3.

If you get there and all 3 are taken you can wait for one to be free... but the people on the tables can decide to extend their hire at any time... even 20 minutes after they were supposed to be off the table.

You can waste hours waiting for a table and just when you think the time is up the person decides to keep it for another few hours.

Waiting around in that place...

This place is a shadow of its former self. These days it caters solely for The gamblers and the drinkers of the area. You can walk in at any hour of day and see the local riff raff drinking and swearing and carrying on from the moment the door's open. The staff are notoriously rude and unaccommodating and the upstairs toilets are a disgrace and resemble a nightmare from the 1920s.

I think the fact that they've chosen a photo of a half drunken beer as their profile pic...