La Guillotine — Restaurant in Sydney

If I could give it 0 stars, I would. Long review, but list of issues and recap if not bothered to read it all.

To recap this review: • Terrible service • Unpleasant atmosphere • Aggressive owner

Overview of issues: • Inattentive owner (did not greet guests, wandering around moving tables when diners were not provided menus or had orders taken) • Menu not provided after 20 minutes, had to request one • Owner very out of it, seemed either drunk or on drugs • Food came out at a pace of perhaps 1 plate per 10 minutes across all tables (imagine 10 tables ordering about 5 dishes each...) • Tables not cleaned or cleared out for new guests • Passive aggressive owner (trying to blame lack of good service on diners) • Owner does not know which table ordered what food (came to our table with 3 different dishes asking if it was ours)

Arrived during dinner time, walked in and owner was dressed casually talking to a couple at a table. I wasn't even sure if he was someone who worked there or not. Waited for a minute and the couple had to point at us waiting at the door for him to get his attention. After we had his attention, I asked if it was okay to dine in without a booking, and he said "yes, which table would you like?". However, he was so close to me our noses would touch if I turned my head towards him.

When seated, our table only had one set of cutlery, and we did not receive a menu. I scouted the dining area, and other tables were also missing cutlery. It took 20 minutes before we got a menu, and it was only because I had to ask the waitress for one. I also overheard the owner state, "If they want to leave, they can leave", referring to a table who soon after left without ordering. When they tried to leave, the owner seemed to block the door preventing them from leaving. Eventually he let them out.

Another 20-30 minutes passed before the owner took our order. In the first hour, 3 tables had already left. The last table that left was not cleared out. In fact, when another couple came in, they were seated at that same table and cleared out the water and glasses once they sat down. The plates, cutlery, 'tablecloth' and napkin were not replaced.

Right before the owner took our order, he was talking to another table trying to justify why service was so slow. He stated, "you know, it's because people are walking in without a booking." He comes to our table and asks me "did you have a booking?", and I respond with "no", and he says "that's why". He takes our order, however without a notepad and then tells me to stop and fetches a notepad to write our order down. We are now 1 hour in.

Across the entire restaurant, service was extremely slow, diners frustrated and atmosphere was tense. No music was playing until well past 7:00pm, and all you could hear were cars and pedestrians on Kent Street, and the awkward noise within the restaurant. Other diners were visibly frustrated and those waiting at least nearly as long as us had the same issue of waiting without a menu or only served drinks.

Another table was offered bread, however we weren't offered this yet we were waiting for longer. We eventually received some bread "while we waited", and it came with a side of oil and butter. Bread actually tasted good, however, we are around 1.5 hours in and have only been served table water and bread.

Throughout the wait, the owner came up to us with 3 different dishes asking if it was ours. None of them were ours. At close to the 2 hour mark, I counted a grand total of 8 plates being sent out since I arrived, and there were approximately 15-20 diners. At this point, I realised I would be better off going elsewhere. Left without being served food.

Do not go here, this restaurant is genuinely capable of being featured on...

Ah, the charms of dining in France. A place where the culinary arts are as refined as the wit of a customer service training manual. My recent experience at "Le Pretentious" (not its real name, but it might as well be) had me reminiscing about the good old days when service was silently judgmental, not aggressively affectionate. You see, when you order something as high-end as chicken crapes, you have to be prepared for a unique culinary experience. And by unique, I mean rubbery. It's a delightful texture that only the French could embrace with a straight face. After all, if chewing were easy, you might start to notice the sub-par flavor. The main event, however, was not the food. Oh no. It was the exceptional service, led by our very own spicy Joseph, a waiter who believes in adding his own special brand of flavor to the dining experience. The cracked pepper? A mere tease. You'll wait for it, and you'll love every moment of waiting, because Joseph said so. Twice. When we finally received the mains (sans cutlery, a nod to the primal French tradition of finger food), we were rewarded with a taste of true French cuisine. Prawns and chicken filo - an ensemble that clearly felt as underdressed without pepper as Marie Antoinette did without her jewels. And the cost? Well, let's just say I was expecting an experience that would dance across my taste buds like a professional ballet troupe. Instead, I was met with a high school drama club performance, accompanied by a chorus of Joseph's loud life lessons. The dishes may have been served lukewarm, but the unexpected seasoning of loud public love lessons certainly kept us hot under the collar. Would I recommend Le Pretentious? Certainly, if you're in the mood for a culinary episode that blends fine dining with street theater, all at the price of an off-Broadway show ticket....

I wish I had looked at the "bad reviews" before booking to be honest. As a French person, I thought I would give another try to French restaurants in Sydney. Disappointed, again. We had a booking on a Saturday night at 8 and when we arrived the staff already looked overwhelmed. We sat down, got some drinks, they didn't have the one I wanted, that's alright, we moved on. Waited 40 minutes to finally get the waiter's attention. Finally got some water for the table. Asked her if we could order and if she could change our freshly put plates as they were dirty. She goes, in the meantime another waitress asks if we've been served, I say that we would like to order, so she goes and gets menus. - We already have menus and just want to order. As said earlier staff were overwhelmed and they clearly needed more of them. Ok so now we have double plates and we're ready to order. Oops they are out of onion soup.. That's disappointing. Anyway, we get 12 snails, Tournedo Rossini, Moules marinières and Côtes d'agneau. Forgot to say that all the prices had changed compared to the prices online. Food came quickly which we appreciated. Tournedo Rossini was beautiful, perfectly cooked and tender, but I thought $55 was a crazy price. Côtes d'agneau were overcooked, ratatouille lacked flavor Moules marinières were so disappointing. Portion small compared to what you would get in France. Dry as there were hardly no sauce. Sauce was not even nice. Didn't remind me of home at all.

We didn't bother with dessert as I thought we already spent enough and were so disappointed.

I have to say the two waitress stayed polite and tried to stay happy the whole time, even though I think I wasn't...