Phivos Restaurant — Restaurant in Paphos Municipality

A Hilarious (and Honest) Adventure at Phivos Restaurant

If you’re in the mood for Greek cuisine and meze that might make you question your life choices, look no further than Phivos Restaurant. Let me set the scene: imagine Del Boy Trotter from Only Fools and Horses reincarnated as a Cypriot restaurant manager, luring you in with promises of a culinary delight. You might find yourself thinking, “Why not? How bad can it be?” Spoiler alert: bad. Very bad.

The Dishes: An Ode to Microwave Mastery

We kicked off our gastronomic journey with the sound of the microwave bell constantly going off, followed by their infamous Kleftico. Picture this: lamb that’s so dry, it could double as a desert artifact, paired with veggies that scream partially“reheated.” I’m convinced that this dish had a previous life as a respectable meal before being reincarnated. On the plus side, the kids’ chicken nuggets were edible. But hey, when you’re serving something straight from the frozen aisle, you can't go too wrong, right?

Service with a Smile (And a Side of Desperation)

The staff were as polite and friendly as one could hope. But let’s be real – when your job involves serving what can only be described as"dog food,” you’d probably plaster on a smile too. I imagine it’s their livelihood on the line, and they’ll do whatever it takes to get that money, even if it means pretending the food isn’t a microwave massacre.

Ambiance: A Step Back in Time

The decor at Phivos is what you might call "vintage" if you're being kind. In reality, it's outdated and cramped, particularly the bar. If you’re a fan of nostalgia and miss the days of questionable taste, you might find it charming. For everyone else, it’s just another sign that this place is stuck in a culinary time warp.

Cleanliness: A Mediocre Effort

The toilets? Let’s just say they were average and slightly dirty. Not the worst, but certainly not what you’d expect if you're paying good money for a meal. Then again, by the time you’ve experienced the food, cleanliness might be the least of your worries.

Value for Money: The Irony of Cheap Meals

This place radiates cheapness from every corner. I went for the reasonably priced 3-course special, and boy, did I get what I paid for. As long as you don’t expect anything fresh, you might convince yourself you’re enjoying it. Oh, and a fun fact: they make a big deal about their 500ml water bottles. Only, they charge you for a liter. Genius, right?

Fellow Diners: Shared Misery

The other diners? They were probably in various stages of realisation that they’d been scammed into eating here. It’s a shared misery that brings strangers together, united in their disappointment and regret.

Final Advice: Just Don't

To my fellow diners, save yourself the trouble and find somewhere else to eat. You deserve better than this microwave disaster.

In Conclusion

In the grand tapestry of dining experiences, Phivos Restaurant is that one loose thread that unravels the whole thing. It’s an adventure, sure, but one you’re better off skipping. If comedy is your thing, though, the whole ordeal might just provide you with enough material for your next...

Overall, the Cypriot food tasted amazing, big portions, big nice side dishes, everything always fresh, until we came across this restaurant... They called us from the street with the offer of lunch menu for only 12,50€, and the 3 of us ordered 3 starters and 3 main dishes to share. The starters were tasty but pretty small - only 4 pieces of small fish 2 pieces of halloumi and a little bit of mushrooms in tomato sauce with herbs. Actually there were some red flags for example the menu was enormously big, for each dish they had a beautiful photo, they had really cheap drinks (cocktails were only 5€ each) and the most suspicious thing was that they had this famous Cyprot Meze which price was per Portion and not per Person (like everywhere else in Cyprus). Our main dishes were portions of: lamb/ grilled meat mix/ calamari they all came actually small in comparison to other places. The lamb and pork - gross and chewy that we couldn't cut them with our knives and we didn't eat them. Side dish was frozen vegetables scalded in a pot of hot water.. I eat calamari a lot and this is the first time I saw the calamari actually had something like tough trailing SKIN that cannot be cut or bitten!!! Cocktails were also disappointing our Bloody Mary consisted of something like cheap tomato juice with a lot of water and ice without alcohol and the Pina Colada looked like with strange chunks of expired milk. For dessert we were given crème caramel which was.. powdered pudding dissolved in water, as well as cheap store-bought ice cream. We wanted some good tasting alcohol so we ordered a glass of rum which was fill with a lot of water and ice and taste it like a cheap vodka.. We didn't consume anything and The staff was actually nice and friendly, so they offered us complimentary drinks but their house wine tasted just like these cheap wines from 3...

Absolutely disappointing! Me and my friends went there for dinner and it was awful. Things started well and at first the staff was very friendly towards us. We ordered the set menus for 14,50€. When they brought the starter we noticed that one of my friends had hair in her food. That was the first red flag. We sent it back and they brought us another, but from then on it seemed that they completely changed their demeanor. We waited about 30 minutes for our main course and the thing we noticed was the small portions and for us it seemed like other people had full plates except for us. It just looked sad. Food was okay, nothing special. Then again we waited long for our desserts. And when they brought the spoons for the dessert, they were dirty. We sent them back, again. And then one of the servers came and literally shoved the spoons in our faces to show us that they were clean which was absolutely disrespectful and unprofessional. Then we waited again for them to bring the check because the staff was too busy to take care of their English customers. Keep in mind we are Bulgarians and they were definitely treating English people better than us. They were taking care of them and immediately serving them first. If they had the smallest complaint or request, the staff was immediately running towards them for help. While most of the time we were ignored. They should treat all customers the same. The truth is that they only depend on their English customers to keep their business running, but for how long? I don't recommend! Don't waste your time or money going there. Awful service and staff full of...