Assassination Custard — Restaurant in Dublin

Have you seen „The Menu”, with Ralph Finnes and Ana Taylor-Joy? Horror movie about what is wrong with fine dining industry? Assassination Custard is bit like it, but totally opposite. There is no snow white table cloths, no hisper waiters with tats on their fingers, no weird stuff on menu, no emulsions, reductions, foams, or food served on piece of cork from 350 years old oak from medditerean islan no human being set foot on till last Thursday. No. Assassination Custard won’t have those things.

Because Assassination Custard is all about food and enjoying it.

Dishes are relatively simple, meaning there is no weird exotic spices, or lab like cooking methods. Two or three ingridients combined together with a true mastery of an artist. Highest quality products, organic veggies and home made pickles. Pure synthesis. Bringing you back memories of moments when you tried your favourite foods for the first time. Explosions of flavours in a simple yet absolutely perfect way.

So is it still fine dining? Hell yes. It doesn’t looks like. It’s tiny. It has only two tables. Walls are covered with owners kids drawings. And from outside it looks like deli for builders. But it’s easily one of best restaurants in Ireland. It is still fine dining. Finest.

Worth queuing. Worth waiting. Worth every single penny. And to be fair it’s reasonably priced for what it offers.

So yes. Assassination Custard reminded me of “The Menu”. It’s like Chef Slovik’s Cheeseburger. Simple. Made with love. And purely perfect.

PS. Go through the whole...

The term hidden gem gets thrown around a lot but this is the biggest hidden, in fact extra hidden gem I've come across in Dublin. I first thought I was in the wrong place as I opened the door with newspapers covering up the window.

The variety of dishes reminded me of the famous Trastevere restaurant district in Rome; Italian dishes mixed with Middle Eastern. The menu seems to change daily and is scribled on a piece of paper which the chef explains to you.

It's 3x dishes per person and we tried 7x which were all bursting with flavour and originality. Sweet, savoury, oily, salty, spicy for a full umami experience. Will definitely be back to try more of these creative and unorthodox...

Had the weirdest experience where despite waiting in line, owner gave us a lecture about showing up with 6 people. We offered to split up and then he said we “stressed them out.” Then went on for another several minutes about how they couldn’t accommodate dietary restrictions. Weirdest passive aggressive messaging of “you can’t eat here” while also explicitly saying “don’t leave” every time we offered to.

Most of our group ended up walking away and the two who stayed had a good experience. TLDR: if you’re a tourist don’t show up in groups of more than 2 or draw attention to yourself in line in anyway and...