Almirante — Restaurant in Funchal

Beware, it's a minefield of an eatery.

Between homophobic maître d'hôtel, half rotting fish and genuine lack of interest in client's satisfaction, I truly don't know where to start. All of the issues I witnessed during my stay are pretty major.

That being said, their suckling pig is very good and they do have some decent options on the menu. However, you can not help but feel that the place is an old family restaurant that is desperately trying to bring in as much traffic as they can. As a result, it's a Jack of all trades, but master of none.

The waiting staff seemingly did not know that Chardonnay and Sauvignon blanc are not the same thing, which is also a worrying sign.

All in all, I will avoid ranting on about my dreadful time at this place and sum it up instead: Half of the menu has the potential to send you on a joyride to a hospital in Funchal's bright yellow ambulance for a night of rehabilitation from food poisoning. The other half of the menu is actually quite nice, but will be served to you by a bloke who has no idea nor interest in what he is doing. If you are lucky, you may also witness the waiting staff having a fight in the middle of your dining.

A once in a lifetime...

Want to have lunch on a warm and sunny Sunday. We ordered three beverages for three persons, two dishes and some bread to share. We get only two beverages and one was wrong one, second coke was missing at all! We were very hungry and started with the bread that arrived with the drinks. After 40 minutes, we were still looking around for any waiter, we've got cutlery and we thought now our food will come soon. All people around us got food and we thought maybe we've order something special that takes longer. A couple of two arrived at this time and they order drinks and food. We ask for our food but no one seems to be responsible also the guy who placed us at our table. Then the drinks and the fresh and hot food came to the couple that ordered 20 minutes before. We ask for our food and they ask:...ahh, have you ordered food....? The food which was brought to other tables looks good but we didn't get the chance to try! We left the restaurant only with having drinks and bread. The service was very disappointing and no other of the serving people seems to be responsible. Wasting more than nearly 1.5h of our...

Food was fine. Nothing too special, just good.

We've mostly been served by a waiter who was very professional and who also told us his personal opinion regarding the dishes we ordered. He gave recommendations too.

"I would not order that if I were you: the meat has lots of fat on the sides. I would go for the (...), Instead.' etc.

He was very friendly and spoke English very well. We gave him a tip afterwards.

His colleague on the other hand...

Came up to our table while we had already been served and being in the midst of our meal. He wouldn't leave our table. He began to talk bout his gaming addiction and his obsession with finding out customer's nationality. If it hadn't been for the other waiter who we later gave a good tip, he wouldn't have left us, nor the other customers alone.

So my opinion is: If you want to eat here, be prepared to be assertive and tell the weirdo to go away. Your food otherwise will get cold and you'll be asked lots of too personal questions...