Spice Curry — Restaurant in Funchal

I rarely write reviews, but in this case I noticed a discrepancy between the expectations from the positive reviews on Google and what you actually get.

As only a few restaurants were open over the Christmas holidays, we wanted to give Spice Curry a chance, especially as it smelled really deliciously when we entered the restaurant. We received a very warm welcome and the service was very friendly and took our order quickly.

We ordered the stir fry with chicken and the Thai fried rice with egg as our main course, as well as a baked eggplant with avocado. The food arrived quickly and looked relatively appealing. However, the first surprise was that the stir fry was served in an indefinable brown coconut sauce.

After trying the dishes for the first time, further disapointment soon followed. Unfortunately, none of the dishes tasted anything like authentic Thai cuisine. They were edible, but unfortunately had little to do with the Thai cuisine we love so much. The typical spices, herbs and vegetables were completely missing. Everything tasted relatively strongly of coconut oil. In particular, the eggplant with avocado cream and coconut flakes did not harmonize at all in terms of taste. The egg in the fried rice was also far too dry.

Now to the biggest point of criticism. The food was far too expensive for the quality and quantity we got. For the stir fry for 14,50 €, you had to order an EXTRA portion of rice for 2,50 €. I don't know this practice from any other Asian restaurant. 14,50 € for a small bowl of chicken with some peppers and onions in a coconut sauce is definitely too much. In the comments of the negative reviews, the owners always tries to justify the price with the expensive and high-quality Thai ingredients. But honestly, I couldn't find any of these in our dishes.. And I really tried to find these. The drinks were also definitely the most expensive on the island for us at 3 € each for a Coke Zero and Brisa.

For dessert, we were actually really looking forward to the mango sticky rice, but because of our disappointing experience with the other dishes, we decided not to order it.

So if you're looking for authentic Thai cuisine at a fair price, Spice Curry is not the right place. If you look at the other mainly positive reviews, perhaps we were just unlucky with our choice. From now on, however, we will stick primarily to the local Portuguese cuisine on our future visits to Madeira, where you can get much better quality at much more...

We ordered two mains of green curry, one in pork (19 euros) and one in chicken (17.50 euros) . The curry was watery and insufficiently creamy. The pork was so tough and sinewy the pieces had to be spat out, or masticated and then swallowed whole. The chicken breast cubes (no more than a handful of pieces) meant that portions were extremely measly for the prices charged, considering the mains comprised a small pile of rice, a slice of cucumber, one leaf of lettuce, and a miniscule portion of meat. Very glad we didn't order the starters or desserts because the meal was disappointing to say the least. The waitress was solicitous enough but bear in mind when you ask for water, she immediately prises open a bottle and charges you for it (3 euros for a bottle of water). A bottle of Brisa fizzy fruit soda which is 1.80 euros in other establishments was charged at 2.50. You are better off eating at Noodle King around the corner (directly opposite the school) which has better food, reasonable prices and snappier service. Or if you prefer Madeiran rather than Asian cuisine, Sabor A Sal a few doors down the road, an unpretentious cantina style establishment. As a food critic myself, I found it difficult to "position" this restaurant. It's not particularly posh in terms of decor and yet it charges higher prices and serves lousier food than nicely appointed restaurants in the Sao Martino district. Be forewarned and steer clear. Would have given no...

Oh, where do I begin with the unforgettable experience that is "Spice Curry" in Funchal? Truly, if you're looking to pay upwards of €15 for a masterfully crafted puddle of yellow disappointment, look no further!

Let’s start with the "Thai" yellow curry – and I use the term Thai very loosely here. It had the consistency of a misjudged soup experiment and all the flavor complexity of warm dishwater. Somewhere, a Thai grandmother just cried.

But the real star of the show? The Pad Thai – or should I say, "spaghetti surprise"? Because yes, ladies and gentlemen, nothing screams authentic Thai cuisine like Italian noodles thrown together with a sauce so uninspired, it made me nostalgic for instant ramen.

The prices? Oh, absolutely justified... if you’re paying for a live performance of how to not run a restaurant. The décor tried its best to scream “exotic,” but the vibe was more “airport food court meets cultural identity crisis.”

In summary: if you enjoy being scammed with a smile and paying gourmet prices for what tastes like an attempt to Google “Thai food” and fail spectacularly – "Spice Curry" is your spot. Bon appétit, or whatever the Thai equivalent is... not that...