Holy Sandwich Shop — Restaurant in Porto

A Rollercoaster of Frustration at Holy Sandwich Shop in Porto

So, picture this: a Friday evening in Porto, Portugal. My buddies and I are stoked to grab some delicious burgers at the Holy Sandwich Shop. We walk in with big appetites and high spirits, but boy, did that mood take a nosedive.

We spot an empty table and ask the waiter if we could snag it. Instead of a friendly response, we get a snappy remark about how we can't just move around. We're taken aback, wondering if we missed some unspoken rule.

I try to lighten the mood by asking if we could sit there if no one's waiting outside. And bam! The waiter fires back with even more attitude, basically saying it's not up to him and we should just deal with it. The vibe turns from excitement to discomfort real quick.

But wait, it gets worse. The waiter's rudeness doesn't stop—it's like he's auditioning for the role of "The Most Obnoxious Waiter." He starts getting loud and actually yells his boss's name like he's about to summon a dragon or something. At this point, we're just hoping for Ashton Kutcher to pop out and tell us we're on a hidden camera show.

Miraculously, the boss shows up, probably sensing the chaos. We spill the beans about the waiter's theatrics, hoping for some understanding. But nope, that's not what we get. The boss seems more interested in a telenovela on TV than our story. Seriously, it's like we're in some alternate reality where good customer service is an alien concept.

Our appetite is pretty much gone, and the awkwardness is thicker than peanut butter. We finally decide to ditch this joint. On our way out, the boss hands us a flan, which is kind of like putting a Band-Aid on a broken leg.

So, yeah, the Holy Sandwich Shop? More like the Unholy Customer Experience. We came for burgers and left with a story that'll outlive those burgers by a mile. Lesson learned: good food ain't enough if the people serving it need a crash...

3☆? The "Smash Burger" is bloody fantastic, but aside from that, unless you love sweet EVERYTHING, a big no. Tonight I thought I'd try something new. A simple, classic Cheeseburger with carmalized onions and a Caesar salad. What could go wrong? THIS! A sweet brioche bun, onions with so much sugar my glucose shot through the roof, a barbecue ketchup that was neither barbecue nor ketchup, but rather a red simple syrup, cheese void of any flavor and a Caesar made with ICEBERG lettuce! Stick to the Smash...the Jalapeños balance the bun, and the special sauce gives the burger the perfect "punch". Because I KNOW it is so good, I threw in an extra star. The service: The only female server (very few tables) was downright rude--and I'm being kind. When my friend asked for a medium rare--I asked for rare and although disgusting in taste as a whole, the meat was cooked perfectly--his arrived raw, as in steak tartar raw. When he politely asked her if she could have it cooked more, she took the plate away and NEVER CAME BACK. The guys stepped up--ALL in the kitchen are aiming to please--and gave him another "to-go" upon leaving, which was indeed appreciated. Oh, regarding leaving, Miss "I don't give a fig" refused to bring the check, after asking numerous times. AGAIN, the guys came to the rescue after I approached the semi-open grilling area and begged to pay. So, until "you-know-who with an attitude" changes, I'm sticking with 2☆'s. Atmosphere: The last two-top in the back has a wonderful view of a toilet and an employee door to the back employee area which, when opened, fills the air with the wonderful fragrance of classic "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" smoke! 😂 If I'd sat there longer, maybe I'd enjoyed the sweetburger more!!! DITCH the two-top guys, not worth a bad review. Again, 2☆'s. Will I go back? To be determined...that "Smash" is kinda wonderful. But I'd sit at the kitchen bar where I KNOW I'll be...

We came here around 8:30PM on a Friday night. It was pretty full, but there was available seating at the bar and at the kitchen window.

The menu is no-nonsense, meaning it's short, simple, and not over whelming.

We ordered the fake chicken flower (fried cauliflower) which was not super crispy, coated in sweet chili sauce. We were expecting it to be more crispy, since we have tried fried broccoli before. But that was just our own expectations, and no fault of their own.

We ordered a classic cheeseburger and the holy burger. The cheeseburger is self explanatory. The holy burger had grilled onions, cheese, and bacon. The bacon was more like ham than ordinary bacon, but bacon is different from country to country. But it was good.

We ordered the burgers to be cooked medium rare, which the server approved of. The burgers did come medium rare, although one was more rare than medium rare. No-joke, this level of rare-Ness would be illegal in Denmark 😂 But we are very happy to get medium-rare cooked burgers.

The cocktails were pretty ordinary. We got one with prince in the name (had vermouth in it) and I got a port sour. The port wine sour tasted more like whisky than Port. The bartender used the port more like a New York Sour (Yellow bottom, thin layer of wine on top, topped with egg white). The port was more for decoration. The server noticed I was a bit disappointed in my drink, so they arranged for a new one. I was very pleased that the server was so attentive even though it was busy in there ⭐⭐⭐⭐

If I had friends and family visiting Porto, I would recommend this place to them...