Big John's Selly Oak — Restaurant in Birmingham

Oh, where do I begin with my disastrous encounter at Big John's in Selly Oak? It was like stepping into a comedy sketch gone horribly wrong. Picture this: bagpipes blaring, kilts fluttering, and the unmistakable aroma of haggis lingering in the air. I thought I had stumbled into a Scottish festival, but nope, it was just Big John's attempt at authenticity.

First off, let's talk about the food. I ordered their so-called "Scottish Special Burger," and boy, was it special indeed. The burger patty was so dry that even the Loch Ness Monster would have struggled to swallow it. And the toppings? Well, let's just say they were about as authentic as a fake Loch Ness Monster sighting. The "haggis" tasted suspiciously like a mushy mystery meat, and the tartar sauce had the audacity to call itself "Scottish Mayo." I've never seen mayo commit such a culinary crime.

And finally, the service. I've never seen such a disorganised frenzy. The staff scurried around, bumping into each other like we were playing bummper carts back in the 80s and occasionally dropping trays of food like the london bombings. It was like watching a looney tunes comedy routine, except the joke was on the customers. My order was mixed up not once, not twice, but thrice BAH HUMBUG! At that point, I half-expected a bagpipe-playing clown to pop out and offer me a conpensation of three shillings and a £10 robux giftcard.

In conclusion, if you're looking for a taste of Scotland, Big John's in Selly Oak is NOT the place to go. They've managed to turn a proud and vibrant culture into a warzone. So, if you're in the mood for a good laugh and an unforgettable dining experience (for all the wrong reasons), Big John's will definitely deliver. Just don't expect quality food or a true taste of Scotland. You've...

I popped into Big Johns in Selly Oak on my way back from Birmingham. I live in Kingswinford. A lady took my order which was two fish and chip meals with mushy peas. I also ordered a side of chicken nuggets. Originally I was told that i would have to wait 8-10 minutes which I said was fine. However after 10 minutes the lady came over and said the chef at the back only made one fish instead of two so she was going to make two again so they are together. Therefore we had to wait another 10 minutes. She gave us our order and we live in Kingswinford so it took me 30 minutes to get home. When I got home and looked inside the order of chicken nuggets was missing and the lady gave me curry sauce instead of mushy peas. I rang head office customer service for a refund because I could not go back to Big Johns in Selly Oak and the nearest Big Johns to me is in West Bromwich which another 9 miles. I paid on card so I thought it would be no problem for them to refund me. They refused and told me to go to my nearseat store. I explained once again that it’s still very far and it’s not practical. They just did not care. I will be contacting the consumer ombudsman. I was so upset because of this especially when you purchase takeaway food and open when you get a shock at home. The most awful experience was the lack of care from Big Johns. I will never be going...

This is my local Big John’s and was planning to order from Uber eats but my friends recommended for me to go and order as it’s much more cheaper and she was right. Prices are really high in general but on Uber eats it’s really higher.

I loved how clean this place is and the pizza bar was spotless. I got to choose what toppings so I got half and half and was creative. I also got the fish and chips, chicken wings and loaded fries (family of four lol not binge eating i promise). There was a 20 mins wait which was understandable as the pizza and fish were made fresh. Mad that the burger doesn’t come as a meal although on the screen it literally says add £2.99 for a meal but they just don’t do it. Doesn’t make sense to order separately as turns out really pricy.

The food tasted good. Pizza wasn’t the best as was not hitting right. Fish and chips were the best. Loaded fries portions are decent and could be a meal in its own honestly.

I will definitely go back for the fish and chips and maybe the loaded fries but that’s it. Maybe I’ll try something else to see if...