Perch — Restaurant in Birmingham

I have never had an incredibly disappointing and uncomfortable experience until I tried this cafe. From the moment I walked in, I was met with cold stares and zero acknowledgement. The staff the particularly blue eyed staff member, was friendly and chatty with other customers, yet dismissive and borderline hostile toward me and my friend, both of us visibly wearing hijabs. The contrast was obvious and left us feeling judged and unwelcome. She was visibly giving dirty looks with no intention to even hide it.

I ordered a £4.50 iced matcha which was honestly disgusting. It was watery, full of lumps, and lacked any flavour. The colour alone showed it wasn’t prepared properly, and it tasted like it was made without any care. My friend’s miso caramel latte was burnt and unpleasant, it did not taste as if it contained any caramel. When I politely went up to the counter and asked if she could have a bit more caramel to help the flavour, the staff member laughed and sarcastically said she already put some in and asked her coworker if she did and the response was ‘I measured it before I put it in’ and told me i’d need to pay £2.50 more because they “weigh the caramel by the gram. Absolutely ridiculous and incredibly unprofessional.

What’s worse that after this experience, I checked their Google reviews and saw that rude staff and poor service are a recurring issue here. Had I read them beforehand, I wouldn’t have wasted my time or money.

Perch seriously needs to rethink who they hire, because when rude, disrespectful staff become the face of your business, you lose customers — fast. So don’t waste your money here because the drinks are awful and overpriced, they wanna be high standards but don’t provide it and honestly the food and cakes look like they’ve been sat in the display for weeks.

Do yourself a favour and go...

Usually I don’t write reviews, but for this place i felt like I had to, to save everyone such horrid services. Upon arrival to Perch i was promised appetising pastries in an aesthetically pleasing cafe, yet me and my friend were both greeted with appalling costumer service by the staff and poorly made drinks. Now me and my friend both thought as it looked rather busy that day, that the staff were probably stressed but we later came to realise that this wasn’t the case, upon ordering the person who served me had serious attitude issues. As I explained that i wanted my pastries in a box i was greeted by muttering and an eye roll. Now I would’ve marked the place down lower except the pastries graced perch with 2 stars instead of 1.

Onto the next issue at hand, I would like to say that me and my friend are both avid coffee drinkers, and from the way those pastries looked we both had high expectations. Unfortunately that was also a major letdown. Upon deliberation I still can’t quite pick which was worse; the ego of the staff or what they called a chai latte. Either way it’s safe to say that drink was lethal the moment it was handed to me, not only did I feel the cup burn my hand the second it touched me, but it also tasted like watery milk with spices sprinkled onto it once it was cool enough to drink, which to be fair was a waste of time and money. Meanwhile the iced mocha my friend got was also in a similar state, except whatever concoction they made was most definitely not an iced latte but a severe cry for help.

Overall, i did however enjoy the pastry I got (the pistachio and cherry tart) my friend however…yea I think she’s still recovering. Now either we cake on a bad day for the staff, but that doesn’t excuse how we were treated along with the people who came after us which is why I don’t think I’ll be...

TL;DR ☕🍰😋👩🏼‍🍳🥰 I purposely walk past other coffeeshops on my commute as Perch, even though small, has a great vibe with friendly and attentive staff plus a large selection of delicious, freshly prepared/baked cakes and sandwiches. As Perch is near my current workplace, I regularly visit for a morning coffee, and every now and then, a sandwich or cake.

As a contractor, I work in a variety of places and try to find an independent like this one - cus why spend on a huge corporate that barely puts any actual coffee in their drinks?! Yes SB I'm looking at you! (Do your research reader) - and I have to say, out of the 20+ I've got to know, Perch ticks a lot of boxes.

The staff are lovely hardworking people; you know, the ones that still come to work even though an ever growing percentage of their customers that don't even look at them when picking up their order, never mind offering up a verbal thanks of some kind (I mean, even without a smile would be something) - I've seen it happen myself on several occasions and it seems to be a growing epidemic 😞 - I mean I'm not a morning person at all, (especially pre-coffee!) but engage them in just a light convo and you'll get a warm and friendly response.

Now the cakes...They are sublime! 🤤😋🤤 My wife has even said it's the best she's ever had (Jaffa cupcake, diary free I believe) and that comment wasn't just based on the alt ingredients! We have to resist hard to getting more than a couple a week they are so delicious!

Oh, and not to sniffed at, they have a loyalty card that dishes out free coffee and cakes too!

Try more independents is my suggestion, this one being a particular favourite...