A Night of Missed Food (and Opportunities)

We arrived at the pub ready for a good meal, only to be greeted by… no one. Not a soul in sight to help us with our booking, but no problem – we’re resourceful. After a quick game of “Guess Where Your Table Is,” we found it a few feet inside the door. Easy win.

There was a chap standing with the door team after we took a seat, who I kindly informed of our arrival. He soon appeared with a colleague to clear the table and gave us the rundown – pay as you go or start a tab. Simple. So far, so good.

I remembered the food being fantastic from my last visit a few years ago. Naturally, I was thrilled to introduce my South African family to some solid British fare. The lack of children’s menus wasn’t ideal, but my daughter’s love for pizza made the discovery of one on the menu a small victory.

Then, the wheels came off.

While placing the order, we were told that we’d been handed the wrong menu – no Beef Shin for us. Odd, since the menu was on the table, outside the pub, and still online. Apparently, Beef Shin disappears with Christmas spirit. But surely someone could have told the menus? It’s not like they update themselves.

No problem – steaks all around.

Now, the starters were the opening act of disappointment. Truffled mac & cheese croquettes that tasted suspiciously like something from the frozen aisle at Iceland, bland butternut squash soup that lacked any squashy enthusiasm, and beer-battered squid that should’ve come with a free drain unblocker for all the oil. The traditional Scotch egg was the lone survivor – although maybe it just looked good compared to everything else.

Mains didn’t fare much better. The fish pie arrived lukewarm, the vegetables were… let’s just call them minimalist, and the parsley sauce had developed its own little film, suggesting a long and lonely wait for someone to love it. Spoiler: no one did.

My daughter’s pizza resembled a flatbread with tomato paste and partially melted cheese. The garlic bread was essentially the same, just with a garlic overdose that could ward off vampires for the next century. She didn’t eat much of either, which, given the quality, was probably for the best.

When the steaks arrived, confusion reigned again. The waitress wasn’t quite sure whose steak was whose, and one meal was missing entirely. The steaks themselves? Tough, unseasoned, and colder than the pub’s atmosphere (which, incidentally, was so chilly that most customers kept their jackets on). Chips – also lukewarm. I have a sneaking suspicion the waitress loitered in the kitchen for a bit before deciding our food was “fine, actually” and brought it over as if nothing had happened.

The toilets added another level of charm – toilet roll carpeting the floor, dangling seats, and hand-washing stations that could double as a swimming pool. A quick check-in from staff at any point would have gone a long way.

£300 later, we were less than thrilled. When we raised the issues, we were offered a free round of drinks – which, while nice, wasn’t really the problem. Eventually, a £50 discount was given, but honestly, it felt more like a courtesy wave than a sincere apology.

It’s such a shame – the venue itself is stunning, and the drink selection is top-notch. With just a little more attention to detail, this could have been a great experience.

I’d appreciate if someone could reach out regarding this visit – a proper refund or compensation would be more fitting given the state of our meal.