Well well well....

Harts Bakery is it?

You know I used to be a bakery right? So I know a thing or two about the biz, so to speak...

I entered the establishment having walked right past at first thinking that a person at the end of the road was my date from Hinge. It wasn't but thankfully I hadn't waved or said hello or anything so I was able to play it off as if I was looking for something else.

It's crowded, I notice many people seem to have driven to this bakery. Opinions on the chronic overuse of cars in today's society aside, I figure this must mean they're popular.

I had originally intended to visit Forest Bakery because they are my favourite and they do the best damn almond croissants in the state, but they have funny opening hours on a Saturday that don't work that well for a date. Regardless, I still had almond croissants on the mind.

I look at the counter. NO PASTRIES.

Like, none.

"Maybe they don't do pastries" I say to my Hinge date who likes pizza and dogs, didn't like school and knows far more about coffee than me. Obviously this is wrong as she has not only been here before and got pastries but also I've seen pictures of the pastries myself. Dumb observation on my part but thankfully it appears the stupidity of that statement was overlooked.

"We sold out an hour ago, they go fast on a Saturday" the lady behind the counter says.

I order a coffee and some "Saturday bread".

In retrospect, I'm grateful for the hordes that bought all the pastries that morning because it was Saturday, and Saturday bread is only made on a Saturday, and only made at Harts Bakery, so if anything, it was more special.

The Saturday bread is like buttery bread (maybe with egg in too?), with a sort of layer at the bottom of a really old school sugary substance at the bottom like treacle or molasses or turpentine or one of those things they had in the olden days. This is none of that salted caramel nonsense, or simultaneously "guilt free" but also "indulgent" dessert bars, this is what Victorian school children had atop some sort of steamed pudding way back when and I'm all for it. Bring back treacle I say. We've progressed too far and food is getting weird. Back to basics, back to boiled barley and treacle.

Anyway, the Saturday bread is really good. I actually woke up this morning ready for round two, but it's Sunday, and Sunday bread isn't a thing. One caveat however, if you're going to do this on an empty stomach, I hope that you've got a good insulin response. I would recommend eating something proteinous relatively soon afterwards just to give your liver a bit of a break. One of the sausage rolls at Harts would do the trick but if you're veggie, some eggs or vegan, a load of nuts I guess?

My Hinge date also got the Saturday bread and an oat milk flat white and her opinion of it was:

"Coffee is a solid 5 stars

The bread was delicious though I wouldn’t recommend on an empty stomach - not a very well balanced breakfast but we can accept that on a Saturday and it is Saturday bread

Wonderful airy texture which was a good balance for the mass of sugar

Overall, once the sugar rush had worn off I could fully appreciate the deliciousness of it

Recommend anyone who hasn’t to try the only Saturday bread in Bristol"

Also, gotta say, I had a black coffee and I'm not sure how much of it was the beautiful little cup it came in but honestly that coffee was outstanding.

Anyway, good pub, beer was good. Get the Saturday bread.