Mackenzie's Bar & Kitchen — Restaurant in England

We walked in hungry and hopeful—how naive we were. After what seemed like a week or more, the server greeted us with the kind of enthusiasm usually reserved for tax audits.

With innocent optimism, we ordered from a paper menu that looked like it had been printed using nothing but regret. Minutes later, the waitress—who had the air of someone trapped in their own documentary—returned and said, “Sorry, we don’t have those ingredients.” We pivoted and asked for an alternative. Ten minutes pass and the waitress returns, sorry we don’t have those ingredients either.” At this point, I half expected her to say, “We do have cabbage, but it’s haunted.”

We waited, unsure if we were getting a meal or just being slowly gaslit into fasting. Eventually, the food arrived, carried out with the same enthusiasm someone might reserve for taking out the bins.

The sandwiches looked like they had been assembled during a power cut by someone using their elbows. Stale bread, confused fillings, and the general appearance of something that had been dropped, reassembled, and quietly apologized to.

The salad? A sparse collection of greenery that had the charisma of an old flat tyre. If a salad could sigh, this one would’ve.

By the end, we weren’t even annoyed—we were just impressed by the sheer commitment to mediocrity. It’s almost avant-garde. A restaurant that boldly says: “What if we didn’t actually serve food, and no one cared?”

Would I go back? Only if I’m writing a book called “How to Lose Faith in Sandwiches.”

One star, awarded solely for the existential...

Was incredibly disappointed with the service when it came to potentially booking a private function over the phone. We have a member of our family who is bound to a wheelchair due to being paralysed after an incredibly traumatic event. We were looking to book a private function for a birthday and when we rang to ask if they had wheelchair accessibility (lift, as I know the functions are held upstairs) We where told by a young lady “unfortunately we do not have a lift” then in the background I over heard a man say “we do however have some strong members of the team that could carry them up the stairs” To which he then laughed and played it off as a joke. Fair enough the venue doesn’t have access for disabled people. However to make a joke and laugh out of it felt incredibly unfair, unnecessary and so unprofessional. We will not be booking with Mackenzies. Not even for the reason they don’t have the access but more for the reason they were completely inconsiderate and rude. Anyone with a family member who is limited to access due to a disability will understand the struggle to book places for meals, events, parties ect. However most places are usually pretty helpful… but this service was incredibly upsetting and i really hope this doesn’t happen again to anyone else in a similar position. Unimpressed is a...

Our experience didn’t start well. Rang to pre-book table for four people for lunch but member of staff didn’t have access to booking info so took details and said manager would ring next day when he was in. There was no phone call the next day! I rang again later to check if a table would be available and was told there would be no problem. We had decided to try the tapas menu and ordered eight dishes and a bottle of Prosecco. Two of the glasses given to us still had lipstick marks on the rim and the other two didn’t look very clean. They were replaced with clean ones. This was a Thursday lunchtime and only one other table occupied by people having drinks. By now we were beginning to think we’d made a mistake! However when the dishes arrived we were absolutely delighted by the quality and the freshness of the food. Throughout our time there the staff, barman and the waitress, were delightful, polite and friendly. The chef is obviously top rate as every tapas dish we ordered was perfect. The venue itself is really lovely and the toilets were very clean. It was our first visit but I’m sure we shall go back in the not too distant future. Four stars given but would have been five if not for the...