Twin Dynasty — Restaurant in Gravesham

A dear friend of mine invited my fiancée and I for a meal in a Chinese restaurant in Gravesend. In my heart, I had a dark premonition that he would be taking us to Twin Dynasty. I was, unfortunately, correct. I had been to this establishment once previously, an evening marred by nauseous lighting, an overbearing DJ, and music which couldn't have been more intrusive if it had been wearing bells and slapping me across the face with a frozen salmon. I vowed never to go again, a vow that was shattered by social obligation this fateful evening. The food is saltier than the Dead Sea, the plates are covered in a strange dark fluff upon service, and the prices are extravagantly high. The low-point of a poor (yet mercifully brief) experience came after our mountainous pile of starters had been spirited away. A meagre pot of hoisin sauce was placed upon our table, for reasons unknown to man or beast. It, and we, sat for some ten minutes as bored servers whizzed past us. Eventually we asked to be given the bill for the starters, whereupon we were asked: "are you not enjoying the duck?" This was puzzling as: 1) We hadn't been asked for orders. 2) We hadn't ordered duck. 3) My fiancée is allergic to duck. 4) There was no duck. Ultimately this is a restaurant for people who don't like restaurants. Dine...

Heard that this place was the best Chinese about so thought I would take 6 of us there for a birthday bash... As we reached the place we had to walk through a bunch of people all smoking outside the main door, once inside ,we stood waiting for someone to help us, which after about 2 mins a man with a child of about 8 approached us and took us to our table, once there we waited 10 mins to put in our drink order, which when they came, the glasses had residue of food on them, 10 mins later they come for our order to tell us we start with starters, so we waited for that, which once here the food really nice but absolutely covered in salt? We then got told we have a main side, which turned out to be duck wraps, which was the best I've tried. Oh and by the way if you dont eat the food you get charge for it, so we pretty much got false to eat food that we would not normally order...by the time it came to order the food we come for, we were full up....so to round it up we eat lots of salty food that we didn't want, which made us drink loads and we didnt get chance to eat the food we like due to being over fed... Not a relaxing dining experience at all, the place is set up to...

Twin Dynasty: A Takeaway Romance (Minus the Crispy Squid)

Phoned in my order to Twin Dynasty and was greeted by quite possibly the nicest woman in the world. Honestly, if politeness was a martial art, she’s a black belt.

The food turned up suspiciously fast — either they’ve got a kitchen wizard or a food-teleportation device. Either way, I’m not mad.

We ordered:

Sweet and sour chicken – sticky, tangy, and exactly what my soul needed

Special fried rice – so good I’d wrestle a panda for the last bite

Salt and pepper squid – tasty, but softer than my willpower around snacks

Singapore fried noodles – spicy, noodly chaos in the best way

Chicken balls – absolute units, golden and glorious

The squid didn’t quite bring the crunch, but hey, we all have off days — and it still tasted good enough to forgive its floppy personality.

Overall? Friendly service, speedy delivery, and food that hit the spot like a kung fu movie ending. Will definitely order again. Might even wear a...