Hackney Church Brew Co. — Restaurant in London

As a child, the fairground was everything. The lights flashed like promises, the music pounded with joy, voices shrieked with delight, and the air smelled of spun sugar and fried things you were too young to fear. But age brings clarity. Nostalgia thins, and you begin to see it for what it is. The flashing lights become aggressive. The music is a migraine. The rides feel vaguely lethal. And the snacks, once magical, now resemble a deep-fried death wish. Some things are better as memories.

Which brings us, with heavy hearts and heavier stomachs, to Hackney Brewery, where Lagom is currently running the kitchen. This is not an attack on the brewery, whose staff were charming, attentive and effortlessly professional. They are the best thing about the experience. The food, unfortunately, is another matter entirely.

We arrived hungry and hopeful, chasing the memory of Lagom’s once-glorious smoked and fire-cooked meats. We remembered burgers with integrity, hangover roasts that soothed the soul, and a smoky swagger that made them a name worth knowing. We arrived, as Hackney dictates, by bike. We were ready.

A table was found. Drinks were secured. We placed an overindulgent order with the giddy optimism of people about to be disappointed. Forty-five minutes passed. Maybe an hour. The kind of wait that makes you question life choices.

When the food finally emerged, the under salted potatoes were first. A large bowl of crispy, fluffy, golden things. They were excellent. Maybe they were actually just fine. But we were starving, and in that moment, they were a gift from the gods. If someone had served us the spade that dug them up, we’d have eaten that too.

Then came the smash burgers. We had recently eaten at Supernova in Soho, where the smash burger is a joyful thing. There, meat is respected. Here, it was cremated. What arrived was a sad disc of overcooked beef, dry to the point of offence, with the texture of compressed MDF. If it had been thrown across the room it would have shattered. I would suggest the chef try cooking it less. Or perhaps at all.

Eventually, the pork belly appeared. Ten to fifteen minutes after the burgers, as if being delivered by carrier pigeon. I would genuinely like to meet the pig that produced it. Or perhaps not. What we were served was a study in fat. Fat around the meat. Fat on the fat. Fat on the side for good measure. Somewhere, deep within, a sliver of pork cowered in embarrassment. We ate it. Of course we did. It was cooked well. It tasted of pork. But by this point, repentance would have required something closer to a miracle.

The sides continued our descent. A tomato salad with ricotta and smoked chicken croquettes. The tomatoes were waterlogged to the point of surrender, drowning in oil and juice. The ricotta had been applied with the same enthusiasm as a dandruff storm. As for the croquettes, they were the size of footballs and looked like they had been tenderised underfoot by a clumsy toddler.

We sat back. Defeated. Not angry, just tired. Tired of watching a good name trip over itself in the dark.

And yet, credit must go to the bar team. They spotted the issue without prompting. They checked in. They comped the meal. They did so without a fuss. That sort of grace is rare and deserves recognition.

Will we return? Yes, but not to eat. We’ll go back for the beer, which remains excellent. The food, like the fairground of our childhood, is something we would rather remember than...

So this review is purely for the Eurovision Party that this venue hosted on 17 May 2025. They advertised this as “The ultimate Eurovision celebration” with • Live screening of the Eurovision performances – cheer for your favourite acts! 🎤 • Special prizes for the best dressed – think sparkles, sequins, and outrageous outfits! 💎 • Eurovision bingo to make things even more fun – can you spot the classic Eurovision moments?

Their listing got taken up by the official Eurovision Fan Club, so lots of people turned up and the venue was packed. Good for them! And good for me as I live only one street away, and had booked our table a week in advance, and people had travelled from all over London to join me here. Except…

If you’re going to host a Eurovision party, then maybe plan for it before the event actually starts? Like, check the TV works and that the sound does too. Eurovision started at 8pm and it took them until 830pm to get the speakers working and in sync with the TV. Until then, there was about a 60 second lag between the pictures and the audio. Which makes for a very weird experience!!

Even then, the TV was small and low down and at one end of the viewing garden, so only people nearby could see it. Which luckily we were, but it was a real shame for most of the other people who had booked. But even that didn’t really matter since the sound was so quiet that you couldn’t really make out the words from any of the singers, or from Graham Norton. Think of it more of an ambient quiet background noise Eurovision party, not really something you could say you were watching.

We dressed up and a few other people on other tables did. There was however no sign of anyone offering prizes for costumes or, indeed, really caring what you wore.

As for Eurovision Bingo, yes, you’ve guessed it, that never happened either.

I think the beer at this venue looked good but they hadn’t really staffed up for all the guests, and at one point the queue for the bar stretched outside of the venue. So when our first drinks ran out, we just got up and walked home to have a house party instead. Where we could actually see and hear the show!

Overall, terrible organisation and mis-selling. I’ll be letting the Eurovision Fan Club know so that they don’t list this venue again. What a shame, it could have...

It's taken me a while to write this post but I've decided it's worth doing in case it's useful to others. My wife and I decided to host our wedding reception at Hackney Church Brew Co. last November. The communication with us in the run-up was poor and the internal communication between the bar and the kitchen could be improved. They say they are a wedding venue but in so much of our correspondence their excuse is that "they aren't a wedding venue" when things aren't going to plan. My view is that either you are or you aren't but you certainly shouldn't be advertising as a wedding venue unless you are set up to do so. Things were only made worse on the actual day. Staff were drinking on the job and one of the guests overheard them talk about how the night before they had been drinking the wine we had stored with them. When my parents then went to collect the leftover booze the day after the wedding - knowing there was lots left over - it transpired it had all gone missing (aka staff had taken it). The event manager admitted as much and was willing to refund us for 10 bottles worth which didn't even cover a fraction of what we had spent.

It had also been a very disappointing end to the evening when we had told our guests it was a 3am finish which was confirmed with the event manager in advance but which hadn't been communicated to the rest of his team and considering the event manager wasn't there for our big day it became a he said / she said scenario. It meant we ended the night on a sour note. The GM who was present for the occasion said he would look into it and that we should have a meeting but when I followed up a few days after to arrange I was ghosted and eventually fobbed off on to the event manager who wouldn't meet and just wanted to close the matter. All in all a really disappointing experience for us.

What I would like to say though is that the chef Eliot and his team are brilliant and the food was absolutely delicious and they catered on the spot for last minute dietary requirements that hadn't been flagged. The venue itself is also stunning and looked very special on the day.

The potential is there, they just need to make some changes to the way things are run. Unfortunately I know I'm not the only person to experience this and hope things are improved...