New Armouries — Restaurant in London

Title: A Disgrace to British Hospitality – Avoid at All Costs

I don't write reviews often, but the New Armouries Café practically begged for it with how catastrophically bad it was. This place is a masterclass in how not to run a café. Overpriced, underwhelming, and a disgrace to British hospitality — I wouldn’t feed this food to a stray dog.

Let’s start with the salmon bagel. It was a limp, sad excuse for a meal. The bread was chewy like rubber, the salmon tasted like it had been defrosted in a microwave two days ago, and the whole thing reeked of neglect. There was no freshness, no flavor, and absolutely no care in preparation. Calling it a “bagel” is borderline fraud.

Now the Swedish meatballs — I have no idea what country these were supposed to represent, but it wasn’t Sweden. These things were dry, gritty, and tasted like they were scooped out of a school cafeteria trash bin and reheated. The sauce was an unidentifiable, salt-loaded sludge that clung to everything like wallpaper paste. Horrific.

And the service? Utterly indifferent. Tables were filthy, trays were stacked high with leftovers no one had cleared, and staff seemed to be in a permanent state of annoyance. You could ask for cutlery and be met with a sigh like you'd just ruined their day.

For a café inside one of the UK’s most iconic landmarks, this is beyond embarrassing. It’s a tourist trap, plain and simple. High prices for food that wouldn’t even pass at a motorway service station. Shame on whoever manages this place.

Save your money. Save your dignity. Eat literally anywhere else. Hell, I’d take a soggy supermarket sandwich in the rain over setting foot in this overpriced...

Dishes tried:

Fish and chips Beef burgers with chips

Fish and chips - inedibly salty fish, was served with a tiny lemon, curry sauce and mashed peas were served with the dish both looked like they are from large cans. (I worked in a hotel kitchen and have seen those). The fish batter was oily and was not consumed. Awful standards. Below of below. Serving people in such a location of the Tower of London as if feeding farm animals which of course deserve better.

The burgers - same standards - worse or similar as in the fast food chain.

People come to eat with children, elderly people- from what they eat there can shortens their lives because it’s so unhealthy. And overpriced.

We were also overcharged for drinks - money taken for 4 drinks when we had 2.

Service is bad. A young lady came to wipe the table before we sat, then she only wiped a small area in the middle of it and left. How funny is that? What about the rest of the dirt?

How dare they to run such a business to serve...

What an awful experience! I understand that this place is bound to be busy considering the location but the overall experience and hospitality was shocking. We only had cake and coffee for three of which was ridiculously overpriced. We had a cappuccino, a flat white and a latte, all served in the same sized cup and the barista didn’t have a clue, she just poured a different level of milk in each mug, my flat white was week and Luke warm, the cappuccino had no frothy top and the latte looked like dishwater. The customer service was even worse the guy with the mullet hair taking the orders on the till was rude and robot like, didn’t smile or even make any effort to be friendly towards people. I stood and watched him for 10 minutes while waiting for my cold coffees and if any customer asked him for anything or any questions he basically just said either no or was extremely rude and abrupt with them. He either needs the sack or some serious re-training. I would definitely not visit this...