The Wreck Bar — Restaurant in Fort Lauderdale

I went to the Mermaid Burlesque Show at the Wreck Bar last weekend with a group from work. Tickets were $65, which included a $35 bar credit on-site.We arrived about an hour before the show started and the bar certainly wasn't packed. In fact, it never filled up though it was a Saturday night during high season. I give credit to the server who, though it really didn't seem like she wanted to be there, was willing to split the checks to make payment easier (we notified her first thing).

Signature cocktails were $16, and we found out later that 18% gratuity had been added to each check “for our convenience” (thanks?). Considering the wreck theme of “The Wreck” bar, the menu was one of the more laughably priced things I’ve ever seen: $56 for a dozen oysters, $50+ for a steak that doesn’t include anything on the side, etc. The food that did come out to adjacent tables didn’t look much better than standard bar food. Save your money and don’t bother eating here. There’s plenty of other venues along Ft. Lauderdale Beach with ambiance that might be more supportive of such menu prices.

The DJ started about 30 minutes or so before the show and worked the crowd a bit. At about 9:25 p.m., one of the mermaid performers came out to work the crowd, explain a bit about the show, make sure we knew we shoot hoot and holler, etc. All good. But then before she left to perform, she made a pretty hefty pitch about tipping the performers after—$5, $10, $20, or more. It was honestly pretty gross and turned me off immediately. I get that tip culture is pervasive in the U.S. but to ask for money before you even start soured the entire experience before it began.

Like some other reviews indicated the show started late (~10:37 and ended about 25 minutes later), but overall it was pretty impressive, if nothing else from a stamina perspective. The performers don’t use any breathing tubes, tanks, etc.; they just hold their breath plain and simple. I’m not sure I could do that (for that long and that many times) over the course of 25 minutes trying to entertain a rowdy bar. They also open their eyes the whole time underwater, which, considering they’re in one of the B Ocean’s two guest pools, must have a massively high chlorine content. The costumes were decidedly burlesque.

The DJ made a reference to a “grand finale” at some point during the show but honestly it just kind of fizzled out without anything grand and before we knew it the performers were walking through the bar for their photo ops and tip grabs.

Our group wanted to stay for a bit after the show but the bar wait staff basically kicked us out after one round (“What time does the bar close?” “Right now.”). Okay. We headed out to the bar in the lobby since we didn’t feel like Ubering anywhere else. One person purchased a round of drinks for the six of us that were left: two Bulleits neat, one espresso martini, one mojito, one Bud light, and one soda water. $102 and some change, with a 18% gratuity added once again for our convenience, with a line on the check TO ADD AN ADDITIONAL TIP. Christ. Really?

The breakdown of this three-star review is as follows:

Performance: 4.5 stars with .5 deducted for the shameless pre-show tip pitch B Ocean (food, drinks, etc.): 2 stars. Maybe even 1.5. The fact they couldn’t fill the show on a Saturday night during high season should probably be an indication to management...

Regarding the Mermaid Show - We visited for 1st time Oct. 22/2022. First Seating. It's about $70 after fees. Show is advertised as 1st come 1st served. So, we were at the door at exactly 5:40PM since doors were supposed to open at 6PM, and we wanted the best seat in the house, which judging by the photos online, from previous visitors and reviews, it was at the bar, to avoid getting blocked from other people. There were already 6 people on line ahead of us when we arrive. But thankfully, as they started to get seated at the bar, I realized there were still plenty of chairs at the bar for us to be seated, and actually, we should have been seated right in the center of the bar, going by the order in which they were seating people (from the right of the bar, to the left). However, to our absolute dismay and disappointment, as we're heading all excited towards the chairs in the middle, in the center of the bar, the woman seating people tells us that those prime chairs, which should have been ours, were reserved for "the mermaid's friends". We could not believe it! We're paid customers! We actually paid to see the show and were there super early to make sure we scored a great seat, and now we're being cheated out of the closest area to the show, which should have been ours! I was very upset about it! We managed to get an OK seat at the tables in the center of the venue, but my photos and videos were all ruined because, of course, I had the people seating in the chairs at the bar, that should have been ours, now blocking my view, and I ended up with their heads blocking every single photo and video I took. I was livid to say the least! To top it all off, this show is advertised as ONE hour long. From 8PM to 9PM. Again, to our dismay and complete disappointment, the show lasted exactly 29 minutes!! It started late, at 8:06pm and ended at exactly 8:35pm. Again, I was quite outraged and upset. I was so looking forward this unique show, just to have our seating area unfairly taken away from us, and then for them to cut the show 31 minutes short!! Beyond...

The Wreck Bar at the B Ocean Resort—the mermaid show—- or as I’ve come to think of it, the WRECK Bar—managed to transform what should have been a charming brunch into a truly lamentable spectacle. At $85 a plate, this mermaid-themed brunch is nothing more than a gimmick-laden farce, made even more galling by the faded grandeur of its storied past. Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe may once have graced this space, but today’s diners would be better served by the ghost of that bygone era than by the current culinary catastrophe.

Part of my impetus to endure this brunch came from an unlikely source of star power: the show “it’s Florida Man” on HBO, which featured one of the mermaids who now graces this tank with her red-haired wig. I had hoped to see her weave some of that on-screen magic into this brunch performance. Regrettably, it was a brief glimmer in an otherwise dreary affair. The mermaid was indeed there, and her hair was impressively vibrant, but it wasn’t nearly enough to distract from the lifeless cardboard masquerading as waffles or the chicken so charred it could pass as a burnt offering.

The room itself felt less like an upscale brunch and more like a preschool rec room on a sugar high—children squealing and chattering as though brunch was merely an inconvenient pause between rounds of mermaid-spotting. It would have been endearing if the food had not been an outright affront. My chicken and waffles would have made better building materials than a meal: the waffle was flat, dry, and unworthy of even the most meager syrupy salvation.

Indeed, in a final flourish of disappointment, I found myself wishing I’d simply stayed home and watched a rerun of “Florida Man” instead of subjecting myself to this sad spectacle. The bottomless mimosas might have dulled the edges of this culinary wreckage, but no amount of champagne could revive the corpse of what was once a proud landmark. One...