Parkway Food Hall — Restaurant in Longmont

It does not bring me any amount of enjoyment to write this review. I have only written a couple of reviews, ever... Mostly because if I am highly impressed by a meal I tend to go out of my way to ensure the FOH relays the compliments to the BOH... And I tip extremely well to the FOH.

I am not sure where to even begin with this review. We've been wanting to go check the hall out since they opened. We finally went tonight. Upon walking in we were feeling bad for the stalls, as there was essentially nobody in the place. We pretty much went in dedicated to trying the shawarma spot so there wasn't much in the way of decisions. We promptly ordered a lamb gyro and chicken shawarma wrap. Along with a starter of falafel. I don't want to focus on the food... But I can say that the portions were skimpy and the flavor was not there. Falafel was extremely salty, but would have been incredible if not for that. The sesame crust was new for me. But the salt lick completely ruined the excitement of first look. The gyro was tasty, but only had three to four thin slices of meat. It was perfectly shaped pieces and there was no spit in sight... From my experience working in kitchens this was not made in house. I could be mistaken, but you'd think they would have the spit in obvious location, so as to entice people into buying the freshly shaved lamb gyro. And never have I gotten perfectly shaped slices from hand shaved meat. The chicken shawarma wrap was essentially all pickled cabbage and red onion. Very little chicken. The flavor was absolutely unbalanced. And quite unappetizing.

My biggest issue with the entire experience was that it seems to be severely lacking in creating a destination and place to be. The South side of Longmont is completely desolate at night. Nobody is hanging around this side of town if they are going "out on the town". Therefore, it is of dire importance to create an atmosphere to draw people in. That is not what I saw. First of all, the bar is hidden off to the side with nothing drawing customers to it. If I hadn't been looking for it we would have not Even thought to get drinks. In my personal opinion the bar should be front and center. As far as I can tell the investors own the bar section. Which means their profit is reliant upon the highly profitable consumption of alcohol. But it seems as though that part is an after thought. The amount of space taken up by the bar could be used for two to three more food vendors. And the space in the middle of the hall would be much better suited for the bar. Then there is the dark color scheme chosen for everything, which is not very inviting. And there is a strange section of fake trees that somehow draw more attention than the bar, itself. While simultaneously blocking and taking away from the draw to the bar. Just seems like a very poorly planned layout and design. Especially considering the architect is the same as Avanti and other very successful food halls. Clearly there was very little research and development involved in choosing this location and design/layout....

I do hope they figure it out and make it successful, but I seriously doubt they will survive more than a year or two. I will go back at a more "popular" time to see if I was just missing something. I wish them nothing but the best... But they need to reevaluate what exactly they are trying to do if they...

Pros: A great variety of food to choose from. Options for nearly any dietary restriction. Great atmosphere, clean bathrooms, and polite staff.

Cons: A bit on the pricey side to sample multiple restaurants. I wish the establishments had smaller portions for sampling.

Four of us went for lunch. Three of us ordered from the barbecue place.

CLEAVER & CO.: I'm a sucker for fried pickle spears, so I was excited to give these a try. When I picked up my order, it was chips instead of spears. When I asked about this, someone from the kitchen said, "I don't have spears today, sorry." The conversation didn't go further and I went to my seat. Three out of the four of us tried them, none of us liked them. They were heavily breaded and heavily salted, with no semblance of pickle flavor whatsoever. Rating: 0/10 (typically, a zero would represent inedible, which these were not, but they also were not spears as listed on the menu).

SHAWARMA SHACK: Diner 1 (first time customer) ordered a chicken salad. It was a generous portion, with well seasoned chicken, a light dressing, and well balanced flavor all around. Rating: 10/10

H3SH3R BBQ: Diner 2 (third time customer) ordered one meat and two sides (pork, slaw, deviled egg macaroni salad). Loved the pulled pork . Rating 9/10.

Diner 3 (first time customer) ordered two meat and two sides (burnt ends, chicken quarter, slaw, deviled egg macaroni salad, and banana pudding). Really enjoyed everything. Rating: 8/10

(me, author) Diner 4 (first time customer) ordered two meet and two sides (pork, chicken quarter, slaw, green chile mac, and banana pudding). The pork was very good, a little dry, but not in a bad way. Just not bathing in its own juice. The chicken was outstanding. Perfectly juicy with a crisp skin. It didn't come sauced, which is my preference. The slaw was very good, not too heavily dressed, and once I doused it with black pepper, even better. The green chili mac was so flavorful. No soggy noodles and perfect ratio of chile. The banana pudding is NEXT LEVEL. Assembled to order, a whole banana is caramelized with the torch, giving great flavor and texture to this dessert. RATINGS: Pork: 8.5/10 Chicken: 10/10 Slaw: 9/10 Green Chile Mac: 9.5/10 Banana...

We ordered delivery from H3SH3R BBQ at 6:00PM tonight, failing to realize that this was being made at a stand in Parkway Food Hall. It arrived at 7:40PM.

Listen, my partner and I have hefty backgrounds in food service and are no strangers to working in kitchens, and we have a big heart towards food service workers. But, this was by far the most disappointing 73$ I've ever spent on food, especially for a celebratory occasion, and quite frankly; I am pissed.

The "Frito Pie" got delivered as a small cup of chili and a literal BAG of Fritos (not to mention, it leaked all over the in the bag.) My "Korean Pig Wings" comprised of two small overcooked legs (that I can only assume lived in a steel pan for the last two days) and a literal dollop of kimchi with no fried noodles in sight. A complete desecration. The coleslaw was exceedingly warm and wilted, and tasted... off, spoiled almost. The Mac n' Cheese had remnants of sesame seeds in it, as well as being cold, dry, and sad. No comforting blanket of cheese to coat.

The "3 Meat Plate" was... disgraceful.

Portions were fine, but the "Burnt Ends" were akin to taking a bite out of a bouncy castle that tasted faintly of beef but, mostly drenched in Baby Rays sauce over anything else.

The brisket, while not being dry, just tasted bad and oddly seasoned.

The beans? God, the beans. Straight outta the can, just like Bush makes em.

The kicker was the "Hot Links" though. Genuinely abhorrent and confusing. Nothing spicy or tasty about them, and I can only relate it to possibly eating a d*ldo covered in a weird mixture of Liquid Smoke, Allspice, and cinnamon

Both my partner and I are in disbelief, and the lack of respect shown towards this food is concerning in the regard of actual FOOD SAFETY that may be occurring behind the counter.

Never again. This has experience has honestly tarnished my idea of this food hall and trying anything else within it.

Unless you're ready to spend a small paycheck and face utter...