Maison Alyzée — Restaurant in Mountain View

Update: In a moment of weakness we went to get some pastries despite our past disappointments. Big mistake. Asides from inconsistent caneles, they must freeze pastries because I don't know how to explain my lemon tart falling apart. The minute I opened the box, I saw so much liquid that the cardboard it rests on had split into layers. The tart shell was completely wet through, and bendy. I have never seen anything like this. For a $9 small tart, you would expect the employee packaging your pastry to notice these things. The chocolate hazelnut croissant (which we assumed was baked this morning) was also dry and stale.

Original Review We are in the minority here, but husband and I find the pastries here to be oily and sugary (this is America so the sugar levels are to be expected). We have tried all the patisseries in silicon valley, to tide us over until we are back at a good Parisian patisserie, and this one comes close in appearance. We appreciate that Maison Alyzee separates and packages the pastries, as many bakeries in the bay area throw them all in a box touching each other, mangling your pastries when closing the box. The delicate pastries are packaged in a box, and today they even put a tape to secure it in place. We dislike the overwhelming buttery smell as you enter. The greasy aftertaste leaves us with a heavy feeling and a stomach ache. We have tried croissants, caneles, and Paris Brest, lemon tarts, etc. Even after blotting croissants, grease squished out with the first couple bites, and we couldn't eat anymore, the caneles were old (it was a weekday), some are hollow like popovers, and the Paris Brest was half the size you see in the picture, smelled rancid, and hazelnuts were stale. On another visit, we tastes a beautiful lemon tart topped with meringue, much smaller than Tartine. I tried hard to imagine I was eating a Jacques Genin tarte au citron but once again, the crust and filling sat heavy in the stomach. The macchiato was bitter and sour. On another visit, we tried the much better looking Paris Brest (twice the size of the first one) and some caneles. Visually they look great. Texture wise I felt the caneles were some of the best I have had in the bay area, and not stale this time, but once again oily aftertaste. The Paris Brest was a bit soggy which happens when you pipe the cream in advance. You could slightly taste the hazelnuts in the cream, but too buttery and sweet (reminds me of a slightly less sugary NYC Magnolia Bakery buttercream cupcake frosting, Magnolia's frosting is a sugar bomb for us). Judging by the lines, plenty of people love this place, so we are disappointed we are not able to. On a side note, we are not thrilled that the person reaching inside the glass case for your pastries, with their bare unwashed hands, almost brushing against all the pastries with the cuff of their jacket as they reach for the foremost pastry (instead of from the back), is the same one who is delivering hot food to people outside, touching doors, handling the cash...

On their wall are their values, two of which are RESPECT and HUMILITY. We received neither of these from the staff nor the owner. There was no sense of wanting to right a negative experience. They had no interest ensuring that we were happy and willing to return.

There was no menu posted and the one available online was too difficult to navigate. So we asked the server what options were available for quiche. She said, “Lorraine and bacon.” We ordered the bacon quiche. When ringing us up she said, “quiche Lorraine” and I said “bacon.” And she corrected the order.

We took our seat. My cappuccino and chocolate croissant arrived quickly — both very tasty — as did my partner’s decaf americano. They left the number on our table so we assumed that the quiche was on its way. A couple sat down next to us. Both of their omelettes with salads arrived; still no quiche for us. Another couple sat down, and their omelettes arrived. No quiche for us. I approached the cashier and inquired about the status of our quiche. She went to the kitchen to check and reported that it would be another 8 minutes. After about 10 minutes more, a quiche emerged from the kitchen and was served to a different table. Whoops! That was our quiche.

Forty minutes have passed and my partner is hungry. When the quiche arrives, he slices into it and there are only veggies. No bacon. This begins another 15 minutes of arguing with the staff. No, no, there IS bacon in there. Nope, bacon is NOT there, only mushy veggies. But I make this quiche everyday, it has bacon! We want to move on, we request a refund. We are put on the phone with the owner, who argues with us about our order. They don’t carry bacon quiche, it’s not on the menu, why didn’t we look at the menu? He refused to give us refund, we stood our ground. Eventually they were able to give us cash.

It turns out that they were saying “vegan” instead of “bacon,” which might have been a funny miscommunication, if they hadn’t been yelling and arguing with us the entire time. (Interestingly enough, when we were finally able to find the quiche on their menu, it is listed as “veggie.” They have neither a bacon nor a vegan quiche.)

As for the food we did receive: The cappuccino had silky smooth foam and rich espresso. But the decaf Americano was NOT decaf; it was extremely watery with very little flavor. My partner is highly sensitive to caffeine and he started to have heart palpitations and difficulty breathing.

We will not...

4.5, rounding up.

Pros: Delicious desserts! My friend got the chocolate tart, and both the taste and texture were outstanding. Crispy, creamy, not-too-sweet. Yum! And I got a macaron because I wasn't too hungry. It also had a nice texture and flavor :) Friendly service. We lucked out, because the owner, Laurent, was next to the cashier when we were deciding what to order, but my friend and I really appreciated his warm and helpful input re what to get. I also saw him bussing tables afterwards. This is clearly a labor of love for him and it shows :). Decent space. It was a bit crowded when we were there, but that's a good sign. And I liked that there's both bar seating along the window and also outdoor seating.

Downsides? Price. Ow ow ow. It kills me that we pay way more for quality French food and desserts in a boring suburb like MV compared to PARIS. But then I guess salaries and rents are higher here, too. Tipping. If this were a true French cafe, there'd be no tipping. But I guess this is a matter of survival; with already-high prices, I imagine patrons would balk at 20%+ higher base prices, despite the illogicness of it all, so they'd lose business if they jettisoned the in-your-face tipping option :-(. Especially with a competing bakery across the street.

So far, this is one of the best French cafes I've found in the Bay Area and I'm looking forward to returning and trying more...