Tootles & French — Restaurant in New York

Food: ordered "Tropical Shrimp" Entree from the Entree section of the menu. After 45+ mins, I got 5 shrimp on an empty plate (see photo attached). This is an appetizer size plate, not an Entree. Highly misleading.

Shrimp tasted charred with parts burned. They were medium-sized shrimp dipped in a store-bought marinara. Nothing special. Smashed and deep-fried plaintain patties did not have any taste, I assume they were only used for presentation, I left them on the plate.

The most disappointing part was when the lady bartender started to argue that it was indeed "an Entree" and suggested I order a side of French fries with it. I didn't come there on the weekend to engage in an argument with the service staff, and so I did not. She is young and unexperienced, and most likely is not college educated, so I forgave her.

Liquor: They use cheap locally-sourced "no name" liquors in mixed drinks while charging $16 for a 3oz drink. Drinks are served less than half a glass full.

Space: The place is tiny, 10-12 small tables, yet it took 45+ mins for 5 grilled shrimp to come out when the total number of ppl in the restaurant at that time was 7 ppl.

It took 20 minutes to pay after I finished food/drink.

Reservations: No reservations were available on the weekends, and there were also no online reservations available for several weekends in advance. Restaurant blocks out the slots online to limit the number of reservations. This is typically done when the kitchen is slow. Walk-ins are offered bar seating only.

In my almost 1,5 hr visit the place kept half of the tables empty and even turned people away, while there were only about 10 people sitting at the tables in the entire place.

Atmosphere: dead

There was nothing special about this place, I was glad to leave. I don't think I'll come back.

Room for immediate improvement:

Amend the menu to move "Tropical Shrimp" to the Appetizer section of the menu to avoid misleading. It is NOT an Entree.

Serve top shelf liquor in mixed drinks if you expect to charge $16 per drink.

Replace embarassingly tiny 3oz cocktail glasses with the regular size glassware and pour at least 5-6 Oz drinks.

There appears to be a mix-up with this restaurant owner's reply. I sat at the bar and was taken care of by the bartender. The last words spoken to her were "No, thank you" to politely decline her offer to order a side of french fries. Not a word was spoken to her after. The bill was paid, and she was tipped. A courteous "Thank you" was said to the hostess as I was leaving. I did not witness anyone harassing the restaurant staff during my almost 1,5 hours there. I also did not witness anyone being banned from the restaurant while I was there.

My review is true,...

I lived in Astoria for 5 years, and while I'm sad that this gem didn't come into existence until after I'd left, I'm also glad, because I would have spent a LOT of time and money here.

My fiancée and I had the distinct honor of being waited on/bartended by the inimitable French himself, who made her birthday eve one of the best she's ever had. Even though they were about to close, French opened the kitchen for our hungry mouths, serving a delectable Steak Frites that we both really needed. He then proceeded to wow our taste buds with a sequence of concoctions the likes of which I've never encountered before or since, showing off his years of experience working in alcohol procurement and bartending. He specializes in rare and interesting liquors and wines, and you won't find a single "normal" bottle on his shelves.

To begin, we had a dirty martini (my favorite), with OLIVE DISTILLED GIN - I'm not sure if that makes it the dirtiest martini possible, but it's most likely illegal in the Southern states. Continuing the martini trend, he served us a Serenade martini (which he calls the Saffron Vesper) - another delight and a new take on a drink I've always loved.

Moving from martinis, he made us a French Negroni (French like his moniker, not the country, I think) - calvados, Armagnac, cognac, gin, and aged juice from the fruits those are made with - absolutely delectable. Continuing with the cognac tour, he gave us a Montifaud Cognac XO, and an 8 year new French (this one I'm pretty sure actually the country) oak barrel aged cognac and pear juice - again, delicious.

To finish, we had a Sicilian Amaro made from avocado and oranges, two things I wouldn't have thought made an incredible combination - I was so wrong.

As an epilogue, we had something called "Liquid Gold", whose origin French would not share with us - something he has discovered in his wide rangings across the physical and metaphysical world of alcohol with a changing flavor palette from caramel, to florals, and back, with many in between that I can honestly not recall due to the overwhelming sensations it created (and possibly all the drinks prior). Do not discount it because of that - this is something you want to BEG him for.

We came here looking for a quick drink, and we found not only where we wanted to celebrate my best girl's birthday, but where we will ALWAYS return whenever we are in the city. French has a priceless diamond in this place, and the love and care he shows is distinctly evident not just in the range and quality of his drinks, but in his very being. Thank you so much for an...

Avoid. Avoid. Avoid. We had a 5:30pm reservation on a Friday evening and were seated promptly. One of our guests arrived just four minutes later, only to be greeted by our server with a snarky, “Oh you finally made it. I’ll take your drink order when I return.”

Not exactly the warm welcome we expected.

When he returned, he seemed unfamiliar with the handheld ordering device and made us repeat our order three times—only to still get it wrong.

The food: • Truffle fries: Soggy and uninspired • Brussels sprouts with bacon: Just okay • Shishito peppers: A highlight—perfectly done • Burrata with pears: Underwhelming and forgettable

Entrees: • Chicken parm pasta: Lacked flavor • Butternut squash pasta: Bland and underwhelming • Smash burger with fries: Great flavor initially, but overwhelmingly salty. First bite hit with a nice smoky note, then… dry mouth city.

Desserts: • Crème brûlée: Served cold, straight from the fridge • Strawberry sorbet: Tasty, but it’s hard to mess up sorbet

Midway through dinner, our server returned to inform us—loudly—that he was being “let go” for either the day or permanently (it was unclear), because he had taken a shot with a customer. He then shouted a derogatory term that was not appropriate for this setting, and seemingly made a fellow staff member feel uncomfortable as well. As a native New Yorker, I’ve seen plenty, but this wasn’t entertaining—it was unsettling.

Later, the manager came over and asked how the service had been. I responded “fine” to keep things from getting more awkward, but he continued to press. After multiple follow-ups, I let him know we were trying to enjoy our evening and that this wasn’t the time or place for a feedback session.

Overall: Service was chaotic, and the food didn’t live up to the hype. I take no pleasure in writing this—people work hard in this industry, and I understand the weight of a negative review. But this wasn’t an off night. It was a breakdown in hospitality.

My advice to management: Train your servers, uphold food quality, and remember that a restaurateur’s role is to anticipate the needs of the guest—not leave them wishing they had...