Naked Taco — Restaurant in Palmetto Bay

I found out about this place from one of those IG videos where I presume they pay influencers to hawk their restaurant w/ video of really good looking food..

I walked in with my wife, asked the hostess for a "regular table on the inside". She took us to a booth. My wife asked the hostess if she didnt have any regular tables. I didn't hear every word spoken by the hostess, but I heard enough to know she wasn't dealing with my wife very diplomatically. After negotiating what was about to happen in front of the booth, the hostess took us all the way back out, and needlessly mentioned again for the second time, something about "yeah you should have told me" (about the table). I literally said "or maybe you should effing listen". I don't think she heard me, I didnt say it that loud and I was behind my wife who was behind her at that point.

Hostess seats us at a table, we're waiting several minutes. I'm already feeling unwelcome, and I told her, don't make a ruckus, just stay here and if no one comes in a minute we'll just leave. Because I don't want to support a bunch of inhospitable idiots with my money. Wife ignores me and goes over to a waitress and asks who's supposed to be waiting on us. Apparently it was the same chick who was hanging out 10-12 feet from us the entire time. I was already convinced we were about to have a terrible experience. To my surprise the waitress (dont know her name) was friendly and attentive.

We ordered the Tenderloin Tostadas to start with. Also my wife was kind of surprised, given the high prices, that they dont give you even a handful of chips and salsa. Nah the salsa is like 8 bucks, if you want two kinds of salsas its like 10 bucks. I mean, even Longhorn has that free bread, nahmean? Anyway 15 minutes later (are apps supposed to take 15 minutes when you're literally just plating up things that are already cooked?), the tostadas come. But one of them slid off the plate when the expo set them down on the table (he's new, it was his first day). The server felt bad so she brought us some guac and a pile of salsa and queso, which was nice of her. A few minutes later the tostadas came. Two comments, 1) there was something in there that didnt belong, it was kind of an "incongruent" taste, and 2) the meat was very plain, no seasoning whatsoever. It tasted like it was prepared by a child with no culinary experience. Even a dash of Tony Chachere would have been fine.

By that time we'd ordered some tacos. I got the American, Philly Cheese, the Cowboy taco and the Buffalo Chicken. Let me tell you, all of mine were straight fire. Unlike the tostada, every one of these tacos felt like they were crafted by a master chef. The Philly was absolutely perfect with the cream sauce they put on it. The Cowboy was also its own unique combination of flavors. The buffalo, with the carrots and blue cheese crumbles, out of this world. My wife got the Beef Birra tacos I think they're called? They're shaved beef short ribs, and it comes with two tacos for $10. Absolute fire. She also got a Cowboy taco and a Nashville Chicken, which she took home because we were stuffed. I ate both of hers the next day. The nashville was kind of meh, but take that with a grain of salt because I ate it cold without reheating. Also it had no spice but I'm not sure if it was supposed to be like "nashville hot" or just like nashville fried chicken w/ the coleslaw. I will also say regarding the prices and bang for your buck, the tacos are overflowing with stuff. They did not skimp out on the meat, so keep that in mind as you're going to plop down 30 bucks for 4 tacos or whatever. I had to eat mine with the help of a separate plate.

We shared a chocolate taco for dessert. It's basically a Drumstick icecream cone, in a taco. I assume they make it inhouse. I would come back to try some of the other stuff on their menu, with a healthy dose of skepticism. Especially about that hostess.. if not for...

We all this was an adventure and then some. Had heard about this new track place that opened up at The Falls. Well the atmosphere looked good from the outside and the inside of very large. They have an outside bar area but you know the weather here in Miami has been Keller so you not went inside to get some food old air conditioning. I asked to sit in the bar area but the table were to close so we went up to the actual bar. Well that's when the fun began. The bar tender came over about four minutes after our arrival. This would have been a good thing except the place was empty and we were only the tris group at the bar. You know I am all about happy hour specials so I asked the question. The gentleman told me they only had margaritas on special as bogo. So I asked the flavors to which he said they only have original. So I had to take it for a spin and asked for two glasses of water. The drinks came quick except the water was missing in action. So we waited again for the bar tender to come back to us. Then we asked about the water and place an order for the cops and sauce while we continued to look through the menu. I tell you for a place with no customers the service was easy to slow. We ate almost all the chips while we waited for the bar tender to return. He walked past us like the times and not once did he ask us if we needed anything or was ready to order. One couple next to us paid and left and I guess the manner came up to the bar and asked for some wipes. That caused the bar tender to leave, mind you we still waiting to place our main order cause your boy is hungry and of yeah, I still need that water that still sends to be lost. After about 10 mins and no more chips and sauce I asked another staff member to ring us up because we were leaving. All of a sudden the bar tender came back and verbally told us out bill. Yeap didn't give us a check just told us the amount we owed. We paid in cash and left him a two dollar tip. I hesitate to even do that because his customer service was none existent and he really hadn't done anything to deserve a high tip or really even a low tip. But my heart wouldn't let me go low. I cannot say my experience at the Naked Taco was all that great. The place looked great and the live DJ really played some good music. I just hope someone else can have a better customer experience that what we had. I usually give a place two tries but I am in the fence to return. Pat your thoughts if you have gone here and let me know if it was just me on this...

Do not go here. This place is a total ripoff and will close in 5 months or less if something isn’t done to fix this place. Let’s start with the venue.. very nice and has a very cute interior with neon signs and very nice murals that symbolize the day of the dead. Went for dinner on a Saturday and it was pretty empty. We walked in, waited a few minutes for the hostess to appear, and then were seated. Our server came by and asked if we had ever been there. We said no and then she said okay well if you have any questions about the menu let me know. Usually when asked that question, information about the restaurant or its menu items is exchanged. Nope! I then got up to use the restroom and saw our server and asked her if they have any chips and salsa and she said yes. These chips and salsa cost $9! Unbelievable! Anyway, we ordered our food. I got the Birra tacos that came with nothing but a dipping sauce and cost $15 (see attached). My friend got The Big Frank burger burrito that at least came with fries but it had zero taste, of which I had to share with him because those two little tacos were not going to fill me up. If I were the owner of this restaurant, I’d be embarrassed to serve and charge that for the size of those 2 tacos that really had no flavor. It was so bad that even the server said “yea, we get that a lot,” when I told them about the size and price. To charge $7+ for a taco that’s no bigger than 3 inches is criminal. On top of that, the meat had no flavor. Then to top it off, on the way to the bathroom, the servers were on their phones or walking around with a very sad look on their faces. If this wasn’t bad enough, upon walking out, there were three girls at the hostess station vaping that I saw a huge plume of smoke. I asked the server if the owner was there and she said they never come, and it shows! So sad that a place like this with such a cute look inside and all the money spent with decorating it is going to close. Meanwhile, the restaurant next door was packed with people while Naked Taco was empty. It’s sad because it even has a full bar. This is what happens when owners are hands off. I will not return...