Produce Row Cafe — Restaurant in Portland

There were a few things about our visit to Produce Row Café that didn't impress me all that much, but overall the experience was a positive one. Its location in the Central Eastside industrial district doesn't bother me, as I have some beloved places located there, all of them camouflaged as dilapidated husks on the outside, but warm, welcoming, inviting and even upscale(!) within. Produce Cafe doesn't suffer as much from this exterior decrepitude, but it's still not much of a looker, until you're actually inside.

The interior dining spaces, as well as the bar, give off an old-timey, speakeasy vibe, but as our one and only visit thus far was on a warm sunny morning, we opted for the semi-covered patio out back. We were instructed to order from the bar and pay up front, which is both a little unusual, but also very efficient, especially when the place is noticeably understaffed (as it way), and servers are hard to come by for a lazy Sunday brunch. There weren't many other patrons present either, as it was just past opening, so it was probably the best decision they could make under the circumstances, assuming this isn't how they usually operate.

There were a few kerfuffles during ordering: they were out of preserves to accompany my wife's Monte Cristo which is, in all honestly, a critical component of the dish (as is powdered sugar, which was strangely absent as well. Fortunately, my wife still loved it, and only lamented slightly that, with the inclusion of these two components, it would have challenged her all time favorite iteration of the dish for first place. Management, take note: when dealing with Monte Cristos, everything Counts! Don't be a Dumas.

I went with the Row Burger which was, overall, pretty tasty, although again, there were a few slight nitpicks. At first, the meat patty itself seemed to have a strange, crunch texture to it, which I only realized later was the due to the included pickles. Now, normally I love pickles on a burger, and the flavor of these was excellent, but something about the texture of them was...off. I've never had a negative experience with pickles on a burger, and I wouldn't say this was, either, yet...something needs to be changed, even just slightly. Different pickles, longer marinade time...something to change up the interaction between protein and pickle. It's not enough to ruin anything, but it was definitely distracting. The burger could also use a slightly stronger, savory seasoning of some sort, whether that be a steak sauce, mustard, or something else to give it a little extra tang and kick!

Service was alright, although closer to non-existent, and the wait time for out food to arrive was notably longer than should be, especially considering how few other customers were present, and most of them arrived after us. Again, this may be due to the understaffing of the restaurant, and since we pre-paid, there was little incentive to check up on us. I honestly couldn't tell you who our server was, or anything about them, since they graced our presence a single time, only to drop off our order.

This review may come across a bit harsh, so I will emphasize that we did enjoy our time here at Produce Row, and both my wife and I agreed that we would like to return here in the future, possibly for dinner, when the ambiance is likely to take on a warm, dusky, sultry, romantic air to it. That said, I feel its important to be honest on the particulars that we felt could be improved, since its obvious they run a quality establishment here. A couple easy tune ups would escalate Produce Row to an easy five-star recommendation, and one I would be...

Came here last night with 4 friends before a show at Coffin Club. At first they were pretty busy, so I didn't mind the wait, but after 40 minutes I never got the bottled beer I ordered (everyone else in my party who ordered drinks got their's in a timely-ish manner). I finally had to go up to the bar and order the beer directly.

Then they seemed to completely forget our food order. Eventually they came out with food for the half of my group who ordered second, but in total, it took over an hour to get our food and we had to remind them. Super disappointing. I barely had time to scarf it down before we had to leave.

Keep in mind, by the time 45 minutes had passed, the restaurant was nearly dead compared to how busy it was when we walked in. We were mostly forgotten. I watched the servers be perfectly attentive to everyone else, but they seemed to avoid our table altogether. At the end, I was charged for the first beer I never received. The server took it off and said there was probably some confusion because their patio had a private party going on, but I still felt singled out compared to the other customers.

I'm only giving this two stars because a different server eventually approached our table and was perfectly attentive, which helped move our...

Been here many times and it's been great, but we had a server who felt very disconnected from us. Lots of weird moments with ordering, taking our menus before we were done (and still asked to keep), and general interaction. The food was really, really bad. Undercooked and tough chicken wings that came out cold, Mac and cheese came out cold, beet salad had old greens that were brown and slimy and the almonds tasted like moths, and all the main food came out 20 min apart from each other in two waves. I've never sent back a dish in this city, but hey, first for everything? Just awkward service. The drinks were really good and the patio is nice. Sometimes the really bright scenes from the projector were obnoxious (like when you'd walk by your parents room after they were asleep and left the tv on and it had that just weird info-mercial kind of tone?), but in general I like the vibe back there. It took them forever to flip on the soft lighting, but once it came on it was really chill and cozy. The food's never been awesome, but they have GF, vegetarian, and vegan options, which is really considerate, and the ambiance and drinks sort of make up for the so-so fare. I don't know what was going on with our server or the kitchen, but it was a...