Lil Woody's — Restaurant in Seattle

It took me 2 days to clothe my body, to remove my person from my flat, to go on a quest to acquire cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory. So yes, I was stoned partially out of my mind, walking down Pine (or was it Pike? I will never get them straight because who in their right minds would put such similar street names parallel to each other?), when I glanced on the left to see a hamburger joint. Odd, I have never recognized this place before even if I have lived 0.2 miles from it for 3 months now (thank you for the precise measurement, Google Maps.). I was ready to ignore it because I am not a burger person... But wham!!! The smell of grease permeated the air and hit my smell receptors just right! Inevitably, I followed the smell of onion rings and thoughts of cheesecake immediately died.

Inside, the menu was just too much for my stoned self. But "fig and pig" sounded appealing. And don't forget the onion rings. Did I say that already? 5 times maybe? No? Whatever. I don't look THAT stoned, could I?

I could not trust myself to hear the cooks call out the order number, let alone match what I am hearing to what I am seeing on a piece of paper under a dimly lit 2nd floor loft space while trying not to space out. But somehow, I managed to get my order with no issues, even with a staircase in my way.

No time wasted. I dug in. The burger? Not my type of bun, but it's the typical white burger bun but a bit toasty, not too wet. I kind of like it. The patty is thin but juicy, and it's accented with the crispy bacon. Honestly, one of the best things that ever graced my stoned lips. There were layers of taste in this sandwich! Those onion rings? Omg, crunchy crispy, inside warm with sweet soft onions. The root beer float? Whatever ice cream they put on the float really enhances the flavor of root beer (and you have several brands to choose from!).

Overall, I am 100% satisfied with this random lunch I decided to take at a burger joint. I went on to acquire my cheesecake and went back home, mission accomplished. But the entire trip was memorable because of...

If I could give this place a 1 star if I could. Not the business but the staff and security guys really horrible. My friends and I on a Saturday night decided to try a new place instead of our typical Taco Guaymas and as we walk in we are yelled at saying we can’t wait inside to order. After finally ordering my friend was told to go outside while I order. She got cold and came back in to also get sauce on her sandwich that she just bought from them and the severity guy started yelling at her saying she can’t bring that in. There was plenty of room in side if they pushed the tables to the side and blocked on the hallway that goes into where the staff is cooking. This security guy started calling the cops on us because I was waiting for my food and my friend that’s a girl was cold and wanted to wait with me inside. Overall the burgers are ok but not worth it due to how we were treated as paying customers and we brought them a lot of business since we got other friends to try this place out. I will never return to this location. Hopefully the other one is better but I’m pretty but over trying to ever go to any establishment called Lil Woody! I have attached a photo of the secret guy calling the cops...

Small little spot, that does burgers and fries. Reviews are the main reason I came, in town for the week and wanted try out some of the local staples. 2 burgers and a large fries was $29. I think that’s a fair price, especially in a big city. Guy on the counter was welcoming and helpful, you order with him, big menu on the board to your right and then they have tables upstairs and downstairs. It seats no more than 25 top and bottom. You buss your own tables and wait for your food to be called to take it to your table. 5 guys style.

Unfortunately the food didn’t live up to its billing. The fries, though the portion size of the shoestring style fries was superb, the salty and oily nature of the fries, meant they lacked any fry flavour. I love fries and I was disappointed with these. You needed 3 drinks while eating. The burgers chipotle Mayo overwhelmed the burger meaning that’s all you could taste, a small amount would have been plenty but there was just too much on there.

It’s definitely a cheaper spot to grab a burger and fries but I think if you pay a few bucks more there will be better options elsewhere. Don’t think I...