Apéro & La Bohème — Restaurant in Washington

This was the worst experience I’ve had at a restaurant that I can remember. We had a 7pm reservation for two. We were not sat til 8pm. Zero apology. There was no hostess at the door for a lengthy period of time. They were completely dismissive to the fact we had a reservation - “oh some tables are just staying a bit longer”. Again, zero apology, “yeah it’s the holidays, things can get kinda busy here” - so arrogant how they played it off. They had TOTALLY overbooked their TINY restaurant, and they should know better given their size- there are very few tables. It was a power play on their part. People were waiting the whole night and they didn’t have enough staff. But what was the worst part was the woman - Corin (something like this- can’t recall her name but she was messy, abrasive, and rude and the only woman working there if management is reading this). She ushered my friend upstairs after she waited a while at the host stand, and told us we HAD to sit upstairs at La Boheme (the area of their tasting menu where there was literally NOT a single person else was sitting). We had wanted the lively experience of the holidays at Apero, and told her this. I said our reservation is for downstairs, we booked Apero, and it’s the holidays. (The gentleman with whom I spoke upon arrival was polite, when he finally came to greet other patrons that is, and offered me the bar until the table was ready at least), but this woman told me I HAD to go upstairs and that the other hostess didn’t know what he was talking for about because SHE was in charge. We were sitting in the upstairs of La Boheme alone. I said kindly - my fiend is 9 mos pregnant, we have a 7pm reservation, and it’s already 7:30. The rude employee/ hostess/ waitress whoever she was told me if we wanted to eat downstairs, it would be 35 mins at least more! She didn’t even apologize and was aggressive, pushy, and just flat out abrasive and rude. It was then that I learned from my friend that she hadn’t given this place another chance from when she tried to came the last time and they were beyond rude to her. We decided we’d rather go downstairs because upstairs was depressing, poorly decorated, terrible ambiance, AND we were alone with this AWFUL and PUSHY woman who was going to completely wreck our experience (even more than it already was). We went downstairs and had to sit at the bar for another 20+ minutes and then after 1 full hour were finally sat. My friend is so unbelievably pregnant - literally at her due date - they again sat us at a high top. (Moved us from the bar to the same situation - a high top - it felt like they were almost spiting us for not staying upstairs in their what they call “tasting room” … alone). The waiter was fine at first. However, after he took my friend’s entree order, and she said the chicken, he came back 20 mins later and said, did you decide the chicken or the steak are you ready to order?. My appetizer was good - I do enjoy the mushroom straws they have - but it was soggy. However the duck confit was awful - dry, totally overcooked. Even the potatoes were rubbery overcooked. It was like the plate had been microwaved or under a heat lamp for their bad servers to pick it up. Of course 20% gratituity + 2% health and wellness charge was automatically included. $260 later and nearly 3 hours, plus a poorly prepared entree, feeling so taken advantage of when I left, and not just bad, but mean, judgy, pushy service, I can see why my friend never wanted to go back to this place after her last time. This will be my LAST. I get why people say this place is “wanna be cool”. My friend’s company is in Gtown, and I own a home in Gtown, and other places have better food, service, and just don’t make you...

TLDR: Good -- food was amazing and the theming was on-point; Bad -- one of the courses was gritty and the loud cocktail shaker ruined the vibe sometimes.

I came with my partner for their 4-course J. R. R. Tolkien-themed dinner. The room was upstairs from the Apéro restaurant. We were led upstairs from Apéro by a server. The service throughout the night was attentive. The only gripe we had was the cocktail shaker was very loud in the tiny room, so our conversation was often interrupted by it. I would suggest that cocktails be made in Apéro downstairs to help keep the excellent atmosphere.

The stairwell and room were very nicely decorated to match the Tolkien theme. There were posters of famous places in the LOTR universe on the walls. Garlands of flowers hung from the ceiling. The servers had plenty of LOTR and Hobbit lines that they gave throughout the experience. After being seated we were offered complimentary champagne; they even had a non-alcoholic champagne which I happily partook.

For First Breakfast I had the "give it to us raw and wriggling" which was hamachi sashimi. It was delicious and the salt they sprinkled on top really brought out the flavor of the fish. The garnishes added nice crunch.

For Second Breakfast I had the Chrysophylax's Tail, which was eel and millet porridge. It was alright -- I've had better eel in Japan, but that's to be expected.

For Supper I had Of Herbs & Stewed Rabbit, which was a rabbit leg pressé. The rabbit itself was great, and I loved the sauce that the waiter poured into the bowl for me. The carrots however were gritty, as if they hadn't been washed properly. Very unfortunate.

For Second Supper I had Mount Doom, a lava cake with orange glaze as the "lava." The cake was pretty good, and the crunchy "rocks" that surrounded it were very delicious. An excellent dessert.

Outside of the four courses, we were surprised by a few other additions. To start, before First Breakfast, we were given a cone with cauliflower cream and tobiko. It was meant to resemble the eye of Sauron and was very delicious. Between Second Breakfast and Supper we were given a scone acting as Lembas bread. It was wrapped in bamboo leaf to resemble how the fellowship received them! And finally after Second Supper we received a plate of a few treats: cookies, dark chocolate wizard hats, and a black currant jelly gold ring. The surprises were amazing and really added to the experience.

Overall, it was a great experience for the LOTR or Hobbit lover. Be aware that they charge a 22.5% service fee automatically, so you don't need to tip. Personally this made me a bit uncomfortable, because you can't really tip less if you had a terrible experience. Luckily with this place we had an amazing time. We will be back for their next themed dinner, which will be...

Update 5/28/24: The owner asked me to reach out to her a couple of weeks ago to "give [me] my night back", meaning a refund which I first thought was a very gracious gesture. But after two weeks, there was no refund processed and in reaching out to her again, I learned what she meant was for me to take down my review for her to issue the refund. I declined the refund as I felt that it was unethical and told them to keep the money and I will keep this (updated) review. Disappointing that this restaurant thinks it can buy off any critical reviews, vs actually acting on the honest feedback and improving the lackluster quality of their food and service. But I suppose it's one way to keep your rating up, just one that I won't oblige.

---original review below---

One thing that can be said for is it was consistent, meaning it consistently underwhelmed in terms of the quality of the food, service, and atmosphere. While this might be a neighborhood staple indicated by the clientele similarity, this is not a restaurant to travel to, we were majorly disappointed with our meal and dining experience.

The first thing you'll notice when you walk into the skinny space is how freakin' loud is. Not a charming buzz, but a deafening din that made it impossible to carry on a conversation with my wife. And as we sat at our tiny two-top table, there were crumbs and other refuse on the floor next to us the entire time.

As for the food, as mentioned, everything was pretty subpar. The deviled eggs were pedestrian. The gougères were dry and bland, we left them on the table. The French onion soup was so bad I just had to send it back, such a terrible version of an otherwise staple dish. The pistachio-crusted foie gras pâte was reasonable but somehow found a way to muddle that otherwise classic distinctive foie gras flavor. The pear and endive salad was fine but unremarkable. The butternut squash risotto was somewhat redemptive but still not memorable. Last, the coulotte steak was well presented but also just consistently ordinary. The butterscotch pudding and bitter chocolate orange mousse also fell short.

Service was friendly but very uneven. Long gaps between table visits. I had to point out my dessert wine was sitting at the bar for over 10 minutes before our server picked it up, and when I initially called attention to my missing drink, she initially said the bar was backed up and then sheepishly saw my drink was just sitting it there.

Just subpar. Wish we had...