SEXI MEXI — Restaurant in Winchester

Understand this: Burritos are not exactly sexy. If you’re on a first date and the other person says “I’ll take the bean burrito,” your mammal brain will tell you “not this one.” Being asked out on a date to go to a burrito bar will probably yield the same result. But today, I discovered how unsexy a burrito can be and I discovered it in my bathroom after eating a delicious crazy Cuban burrito at Sexi Mexi. It was truly a positive experience, but when you’re riding your toilet across the rolling plains of Planet Burrito, it can look like war, famine, and taxes.

When the first quiver in my intestinal lining prickled my skin, I knew it was the cranberry jalepeno sauce. I shrugged and finished my workout, but I was uneasy about the future. The last time I had that feeling, I had eaten too much harissa and woke up halfway through the Wyoming bar exam, so I knew I was in for one wild jamboree. When the first pang of agony doubled me over, I knew it was the jerk seasoning and began writing my final Will. It was like I was a pirate receiving the black spot and, similarly, I dived into the loo and barricaded the door. After laying down newspapers, pitching a canopy to protect the ceiling, and putting on my rain jacket, I sat on my toilety gallows and entered a fugue state that I’m not sure has ended even now. I dreamed of loss. I dreamed of hope. I was even visited by a sleep paralysis habanero who casually reminded me of my most embarrassing moments. I briefly woke up to find my screaming family and an unfamiliar wide-eyed paramedic standing over me with a respirator and IV bag. I have no memory of the rest, as the ensuing earthquake knocked a can of febreeze on my head.

I’ve moved on with my life. The toilet and I are in couples therapy. The febreeze is completely empty, along with the citronella candles. The paramedic married my cousin because of the bond they created that night. They’re making a movie about it starring Gary Busey as my 9-foot wild-haired dookie and Michael Bay’s the director.

As such, the burrito was incredible, their location was very clean, and the staff were friendly. I highly recommend and would give...

I did not see anything on the menu that didnt scream spicy. So I played it safe and got a favorite dish of mine, guacamole and chips. Not only was it terribly spicy but it was very sour. I tried 2 or 3 bites and could not eat it. The waitress did ask if anything was wrong at the end when my bowl was totally still full minus some chips. And I said it was too spicy I could not eat it, she still charged me and said she would take 2 dollars off. I'm sorry, but the whole thing should have been taken off. My son got an egg burrito and loved it. They do store all the silverware on the table in a container (ew) but there were no forks at all. I added a before and after on my guac. You can see how...

First, I would like to state that the stars does not represent the food, service, and atmosphere of the restaurant. IF I had to grade them only on that, I would have given them 5 stars. The bartender was friendly, helpful, and overall a pleasure to deal with. For food/drinks, we got the nachos, the Cuban burrito, and 3 different drinks (Mexican mule, Hibisky Sour, and the grape fruit one which I can not recall the name). Honestly, if I lived in the area I would come back for sure.

Edit

Thank you to the owner for responding. Shortly after the owner responded, the situation was resolved. The review would now be based off the fantastic service...