If you're coming to Bugsy Malone, skip it. So many issues it's hard to know where to start.

First, this is not a professional production. This is a high school talent show so parents can clap for their own children while paying £40+ per seat. It is put on by the Julliard for the Untalented.

To start there were Box office ticket sales issues. Who doesn't make it easy to take your money? Front of House was a cascade of poor service, no knowledge, and meandering stories of lies.

Second, there was a Surprising lack of warning on basic theater issues including gun play and strobe lights. Odd because Britons like to lecture on gun deaths, but then memorialize American gangland streets of Chicago during prohibition. Anti seizure warnings are normally as common as no peanuts on British Airlines flights for productions with strobes, but all missed.

Theatre unable to determine which lie they're going to tell due to delays. First it was a technical issue, later the director "Sam" admits casting problem. Then they complain people out of their seat when they delay show more than 45 minutes..

Would not serve prior to curtain, but curtain still delayed 5 minutes.

The acting is so poor the actors have not been taught to stop talking when they're getting applause. The stage timing necessitates the question do we even have a stage manager because actors run on and off without purpose and interfering with scenes in progress.

Voices and instruments pitchy we're pitchy. For these prices I expect performers who can...perform.

Fizzy only voice close for singing beyond Blousy. She needs to develop, but can sing. Fizzy has some potential but lots of work to do. Also if his character is going to be a dancing man wannabe some more lessons are appropriate before he demonstrates a near seizure like ability to not dance.

Voices were anti-Italian. If a white actor portrayed a black child similarly to a black actor faking an Italian accent the noise would be enormous for racism. The reverse occurs without consideration for the obviousnreverse racism and worse the actor didn't have the ability to even execute the accent. Ugly, but a reminder that the No Italians Need Apply signs from years past are not just historical memories, but alive and well in some hearts.

The entire show relies on adult special effects to fight for adequacy. Whether be it thunder/lightning, strobes, props, and of course music.

Tech issues...fizzy running across stage breathless/mic wind issue. No something at end of play causing redo and performance stoppage. Unprofessional.

From the audience a comment there was a "concerted effort to put young children in main parts" clearly despite their inability to perform at that level.

Ironic to have a character telling her beau she's leaving because he was an hour late to a rendezvous when this performance had the same problem of starting an hour late. After sludging through this junior high talent show I'm still unsure it ever started.