Earl’s Court Police Box — Attraction in London

‘Doctor Who’, the long-running BBC documentary series, has never mentioned that The Doctor lives in Earl’s Court, and parks the Tardis outside the main entrance to the Tube Station.

The Tardis was deliberately designed to look like a police telephone box, to blend with its surroundings, and not be noticed. That made perfect sense in Britain in the 1960s when police boxes were common, but seems hard to believe these days, and especially when you consider that The Doctor, being a Time Lord, travels all over space-time. You’d think your typical prehistoric hyper intelligent alien space monster, would notice a big blue shed with a flashing light on top, especially when it appears in their high-street, blocking access to the subway station.

But incredibly it works, and nobody notices the Tardis. Go to Earls Court and see for yourself. It’s quite difficult to find, but keep looking. As you leave the station, it’s right in front of the station entrance. It’s big, and blue, and has a light on top, and it’s in front of you. Once you’ve found it, look around, and you’ll see that nobody else notices it. Many people live in Earl’s Court and use this station every day to commute to work, and don’t know the Tardis is here. Look carefully at the blank faces of the people going past. Yes, that’s what happens when you run for a train and don’t notice the blue wall that’s blocking your route.

Don’t worry that The Doctor and the Tardis could be away on an adventure on the day you visit. The Tardis is able to go anywhere in four dimensional space-time, and is always returned to the same place and at the same moment it left - so it doesn’t ever appear to move. This practice is becoming very common in London, so people who have cars without this feature, are finding it almost...

Alright, guv'nor! 'Ere's a proper Cockney review of that ol' Police Box in Earls Court, innit:

Oi, listen up, you lot! I was 'angin' about Earls Court yesterday evenin', waitin' for some geezer to flog me a bike off eBay, when I clocked this big blue box on the pavement. Turns out it's one of them old Bill boxes from back in the day!

Now, don't get your knickers in a twist - it ain't nuffink to write 'ome about. But if you're into all that historical malarkey or you're one of them Doctor Who nutters, you might find it right up your alley.

It's as wide as a Cockney's grin and blue as the Thames on a good day. You can get right up close and give it a butcher's 'ook - no fancy ropes or nuffink keepin' you away. There's even a bit of paper on it tellin' you what's what.

Found it dead easy, I did. It's just sittin' there bold as brass, ain't it? Took a few snaps and a video for me old nan - piece of cake, that was.

Now, I ain't gonna tell you to trek across London just to see this box. It's about as excitin' as watching paint dry if you ain't into that sort of fing. But if you're in the area and got time to kill, why not 'ave a gander?

I'll give it three stars out of five, and that's me bein' generous. If you're one of them Time Lord fanatics, you might fink it's the dog's bollocks and give it more.

There you 'ave it, me old china. That's the Earls Court Police Box for ya - take it...

PROS

Attractive shade of blue Surprisingly spacious interior 4 dimensional transport capability Telepathic

CONS

Hurtles through space and time with little regard for health and safety Unreliable chameleon circuit Spare parts difficult to obtain Hard to operate

Despite the drawbacks, this is still preferable to alternatives on the market. The most similar competitor is an American model that is extremely cramped, especially when transporting a moderate number of historical dudes. Its antenna is also prone to damage. Another model, based on a rear-engine two-passenger sports car, is only functional in highly specific conditions.

Overall, this is a classic piece of design, and an elegant solution to a highly complex engineering problem.

I recommend taking travel sickness tablets at least an hour before travel. Remind yourself of this after your trip...