Islands of Adventure is an insult to every theme park experience I've ever had. We planned this entire trip around Jurassic Park—my three-year-old, decked out head to toe in Jurassic Park gear, was beyond excited to see his beloved dinos. Instead, on the Jurassic Park River Adventure ride, a staff member had the audacity to yell at us not once, but twice, for taking a moment to remove a sweatshirt before the ride started. We were simply trying to get comfortable, but no, we were rushed. The chaos didn’t stop there—my child tripped, hit his knee, and burst into tears while I nearly twisted my ankle on a slippery surface. If only the staff had given us one extra second, that one ride might have been memorable for all the wrong reasons, but instead it was downright traumatic. And that was just day one. Our three-year-old couldn’t even ride the veloci-coaster because he was deemed too short, and the so-called “Perodon Flight” ride only allowed one adult and one child—leaving the other adult to wander off and find something to do. Universal should really consider rebranding with a slogan like, “At Universal, we bring you here to split you apart.” The ride operators and concession stand staff here are a master class in indifference. While upper management and the entertainers manage to flash a smile, the lower-tier workers—those who deal directly with guests, especially kids—are as rude and impatient as they come. Then came the King Kong ride debacle. Amid a line full of chaos—including a patron incessantly shouting at the Kong witch—when one of my family members stepped away to use the bathroom, they were reprimanded upon return. But the screaming park guest nada, King Kong himself sported litter on his animatronic, complete with a Frito-Lay chip bag stuck on him—a detail I couldn’t resist joking about, wondering if pollution had hit Kong Island. The park grounds were a mess, with maintenance staff more interested in chatting with each other than keeping the park presentable.

The nightmare continued at Harry Potter, where we waited nearly an hour in a line that moved slower than molasses. Having been to Disney and even previous Universal parks, I can say without hesitation that the Exprss Pass is a complete joke—it’s expensive and utterly ineffective. And after paying full price for tickets, it’s a slap in the face that my son, who’s just turned three, couldn’t enjoy most of the rides.

Concessions were no better. We paid for a drink cup advertised with “unlimited refills” only to later discover that each cup comes with a chip designed to curb your refills. When I confronted the concession stand, I was met with a curt “hello” with no explanation on the refills then I was having a word with my wife about it she told me I was wrong, just to be called over to the same concession stand by the worker (I honestly thought i was in trouble ) The concession lady begrudgingly explained the gimmick and refilled our drink. It’s sugar water, folks, but when you’re charging Disney-level prices, at least have the decency to be upfront about it. The park’s infrastructure is a joke too. Elevators malfunction, the moving treadmill floors are out of order (yet I’m still told to keep my stroller off them), and the so-called “amenities” are laughably subpar. The cabana resort room we received reeked of musk and puke and a parking lot view—after a complaint, we were shuffled into another room that, while odor-free, had nothing but a view of the parking lot. When you tally up the expenses—over $1K for a room, $940 for tickets, $180–$200 per day for food, sky-high merchandise prices, and $1,300 for plane tickets—the entire trip is a masterclass in pay-to-play rip-offs. For a park that promises an unforgettable experience, all my toddler got were tears and long, endless lines. If I could give negative stars, For a quality experience, do yourself a favor and stick with Disney,nat least they know how to treat their guests . This was, without a doubt, one of the worst experiences I've ever had, and I won’t be returning.