Earthquake the Ride — Local services in Gatlinburg

If you’re the kind of traveler who finds joy in the faded neon glow of roadside Americana, Earthquake the Ride is a quirky little time capsule worth stepping into—at least once. I visited a while back and was drawn in by the bold signage and the promise of “the most terrifying ride in Gatlinburg.” Spoiler: it’s not terrifying. But it is delightfully retro in a way that feels like stepping into a 1990s theme park simulator that never got the memo about modern upgrades. The experience lasts about 8 minutes or so, and you’re seated in a subway car that jolts and rattles as animatronic chaos unfolds around you—falling beams, screeching rats, and a gorilla that looks like he wandered off the set of a low-budget monster flick. The effects are dated, the storyline is thin, and the price feels steep for what you get. But here’s the thing: I didn’t mind. There’s something oddly comforting about attractions like this—ones that haven’t been polished into oblivion. It reminded me of the kind of roadside entertainment I grew up with, where the charm came not from perfection but from personality. Operationally, it’s a quick in-and-out. No long lines, no pre-show, and no real staff interaction beyond the ticket counter. It’s nestled right off the Parkway, so it’s easy to find but harder to justify unless you’re already in the area and craving a dose of kitsch. Would I recommend it to thrill-seekers? No. But if you’re like me—someone who values the character of older-style tourist themes and enjoys documenting the quirks of Southern attractions—it’s worth a visit. Just go in with low expectations and a sense of humor, and you’ll walk out with a smile and maybe a few lines for your...

The most frightening thing about it was the girl at the front desk who looked like she would rather be hit by the train on the ride than have to work there a second longer. As soon as I saw the mannequins outside the ride with missing limbs and tattered clothing, I knew we were in for a unique experience. Upon entering we were sat into a cart in a pitch black room. Whenever the “ride” started, a man said a train was coming towards us, and going to hit us. But then never followed anything up about it. It just suddenly changed storylines, and moved us forward to where we were greeted by a large gorilla? okay? From there, you get the thrill of seeing more poorly made animatronics, random props that were most likely found on the side of the road, and being tossed back and forth and side to side for maybe 30 seconds or so. Not sure if that’s what an earthquake is like, but definitely not how I ever imagined one. If I were in an earthquake, I don’t think I would specifically get hip pain from being suspended up by an old metal chair for a minute straight. After this, there was random water splashing down into a drip drain. But even then, who cares, because why was there a gorilla in the subway? I still can’t get over that. The reason for a 3 star review, is because the money was worth it to go home and read the google reviews alone. If we hadn’t paid for this terrible ride, we would have never found these fantastic...

I have scoured the ends of this planet we call home for the greatest ride of all time. I have been to Universals, Disneys, Busch Gardens, and countless others. Perilous rollercoasters that threaten your sense of hubristic immortality, dark rides that immerse you into fantastical worlds, and the unpredictable waves and falls of water parks. Yet, in all my journeys, I had not been satisfied.

One would not think that the grand solution to my grandiose woes for adrenaline would be residing in the quaint town of Gatlinburg. That is to say, as I awaited for one of my companions to return from our conveyance, I found myself face to face with a beauty so unimaginable, a majesty unparalleled by its surroundings—

It was none other than the glorious golden gates of Earthquake: The Ride.

I knew that I have found the salvation of my lifetime of searching. For a measly $15, I immediately embarked on the experience of a lifetime. I felt the fear and adrenaline of such a disaster only a true witness could convey as my soul was rattled out of its mortal coil. Just by the glowering glare of the gorilla by my side I felt my heart begin to thunder.

By the time I was finally returned to reality, I wished that I could experience it yet again, but the moonshine beckoned its siren’s song.

Should you search for the greatest attraction and the most exhilarating ride on Earth, you’ll find it none other than here—...