Officers Mess — Restaurant in Brisbane City

If you are looking for an immersive simulation of waiting in purgatory, look no further than Officers Mess. We were greeted by absolutely no one which I now realise is part of the experience. After hunting down a staff member (ratio roughly 1 to 25, so think Where’s Wally but less fun), we proudly announced we had a reservation… which apparently means nothing here.

Drinks and food? Oh, that is a whole different saga. It took one hour and twenty six minutes for our meals to arrive, which is about the same length as a feature film. Sadly, unlike the movies, there is no popcorn unless you count the $10 BBQ corn, which comes with the husk as garnish. Truly, culinary innovation.

The food itself was a masterclass in disappointment. Four sad little brisket slices, seasoned only with neglect, for $36. A single prawn for $16, possibly blessed by Poseidon himself to justify the price. Two skewers of “lemongrass” chicken drowned in straight hoisin (spoiler: no lemongrass was harmed in the making of this dish). The serving sizes were so small so order double the usual if you’re keen to find out yourself.

When we dared to ask the staff what was happening with our food, we were met with the kind of customer service you would usually expect at a petrol station : “I don’t know and I’m too busy to find out.” Eventually, our buzzer went off because here you fetch everything yourself. Nothing says premium dining like paying $148 for two people to carry your own plates of mediocrity.

The setting is nice if you want to park your kids or pets, but beyond that it is overpriced, underwhelming, and delivered with the warmth of a tax audit. Save your money and just roast a corn cob in your backyard, you will get the same experience without the...

I had high hopes for this place but left feeling very disappointed. The food was overpriced for the quality—$21 for a crepe and $24 for a basic breakfast burger. Service was also lacking; despite having a reservation, we were informed that our table had been given away. Thankfully, one staff member provided good service and arranged a new table for us. However, both the food and coffee were extremely slow, with coffee alone taking over 15 minutes to arrive. The aspect is nice but we prefer Mary Mae’s at the Powerhouse - far better food and service with the same view (and far better value).

The most concerning aspect is the illegal card surcharge that is added to all orders. According to ACCC regulations, businesses that don’t accept cash must include any unavoidable surcharge in their advertised prices. The surcharge is unavoidable because cash is not accepted. Merely mentioning the surcharge on a sign or menu does not satisfy this requirement. I plan to reach out to the business to address this issue, hoping it’s an oversight on their part. If their business practice does not change I will take further action with the ACCC. We will not be returning unless this issue...

So here’s their timeline. Monday I made an on line booking for 3 people at 6pm on Thursday evening. Confirmation received in sms and email. Wednesday I received an email confirming the booking and with excited message of how much they are looking forward to serving us on Thursday. Thursday morning, an email and sms arrived saying that the kitchen is closing at 3pm but they’d love to give me a table at 2pm! For dinner? (Their web site did show at this point that they are shut Thursday evening, but their booking service did take our reservation.) At this point I’m thinking that this is all the problem for their on line booking service. Very disappointing, to say the least, but the best was to come! Friday morning I received a nice email from The Officers Mess asking how much we enjoyed our meal on Thursday evening! Classic ‘Rubbing Salt Into Our Wounds!’ I do know that this is very much a First World problem, but a massive miss-step for a newish entry into the Hospo industry of New Farm. And yes, the meal we ended up having at the Brunswick Hotel...