Hungry Jack's Burgers Elizabeth Street — Restaurant in Melbourne

Let us now discuss my recent visit to the Hungry Jack’s Elizabeth Street location, a culinary catastrophe masquerading as a fast-food outlet. I would like to preface this by clarifying that my actual rating is zero stars, but Google, in its infinite algorithmic wisdom, refuses to recognize the concept of absolute disappointment. So here we are begrudgingly awarding a single star for what can only be described as a structural embarrassment with a fryer.

Upon entering the premises, I was greeted not by the smell of freshly grilled patties, nor the warmth of customer hospitality, but by the gentle flutter of baby sparrows. Yes, actual birds, flapping around like they paid for their own meal. And not far behind them? Pigeons, the airborne rats of Melbourne, strutting around the indoor seating area like they were waiting for a table.

Now, how do these feathered freeloaders gain access to the dining space, you ask? Simple: they just leave the freaking door open. Yes. Open. As in, a giant gaping portal to the outside world, welcoming dust, wind, urban wildlife, and possibly locusts in the next wave of chaos. You see, humans the intended customers are cognitively capable of opening a door and walking through it. It is not advanced particle physics. We do not require pre-opened access like we're training for the avian Olympics.

But no. Hungry Jack’s Elizabeth Street has adopted a zoo exhibit model, where both customers and birds may coexist in harmony except there's no harmony, only unwanted feathers, flapping, and existential rage.

And as for the staff members, or as I now fondly refer to them: sons of biscuits (not even the warm, flaky kind more like stale, dry dog treats). Their response to this avian invasion? Utter indifference. Not a single attempt to close the door, scare the birds off, or even acknowledge the fact that half the wildlife from Flinders Street Station is now perched on their light fixtures. It's as if the entire store is being managed by NPCs programmed for apathy.

I came here for a burger and fries, not a scene out of National Geographic: Urban Pest Edition. My meal, once promising, was ruined by the ambiance of a public aviary, coupled with airborne debris and a side of contempt.

So no, I will not return. I refuse to dine at a venue where the customers have to compete with pigeons for seating and basic sanitation is...

Very rude and racist staff. I was denied my order (which I placed using their self-serve machines) because I’m brown and the name that I placed the order under sounded too white to the worker. I typically use an English name when I place orders at fast food restaurants because my ethnic name is too difficult for the English speakers to pronounce. I’ve never had problems with any other location, but the worker here thought that I didn’t look white enough for my name and that I was stealing someone else’s food. She yanked the bag away from me and demanded to know what I had ordered (in a very rude tone). When I recited my order (which was correct by the way and was in fact what was in the bag), she shook her head and pulled the bag away. It was only when I brought up my bank account app on my phone and showed the money transfer that the worker agreed to give me the order. This is horrible customer service. No one should be treated this way in a modern multi-cultural society. Very sad to see that the standards at Hungry Jack’s are this low! If you can’t afford to print out receipts from your self-serve machines, then at least train your workers to have basic societal awareness. Can’t help but think that I wouldn’t have received the food at all had I not downloaded my bank...

Hey! Macdonald's! No need to worry! Definitely Hungry Jack's tried to copy Macca'a Big Mac. Result; absolutely disgusting. I grew away. Couldn't eat. First bite, was "this is extremely salty" I wanted to throw it away that moment but cut it in half to try from middle. This time it was extremely salty but also there was this lab made type chemical comming through, released burning my mouth. My mouth was on fire from excessive salt and what ever that lab made chemical is. There was no taste of a hamburger but just full of disgusting unedible sauce. I grew away after the second bite while making a face. 2 ladies saw me. Two ladies smiled at me. Incidentally they were having MC.Donald's enjoying their food. An Indian, Pakistani looking female staff served me. She was professional and friendly. Actually, I was thinking "wow, how could she be still smiling and friendly" as she was surrended by some would call it interesting others would call something else customers! So Thank you to her. Really appreciated. P.S. That 3 stars for the staff who served me. BigJack, the burger, whatever Hungry Jack's calls get...