Lona Misa — Restaurant in Melbourne

My wife and I eagerly anticipated celebrating her birthday at Lona Misa, drawn in by the allure of their set menu and the reputation of the chef, who had showcased skills as a guest chef on MasterChef. We were so excited as we stepped into the restaurant, greeted by a charming ambiance and attentive service. Little did we know, the evening would unfold into a cascade of culinary disappointments, course by course.

The first course arrived with promise, plated beautifully and exuding an air of sophistication. However, the taste failed to match the presentation. With each bite, we found ourselves searching for flavours that never seemed to materialise. Despite our initial optimism, we left a portion uneaten, hoping that the next course would redeem the meal.

Alas, the second course dashed our hopes further. What should have been a progression of flavours and textures turned out to be another letdown. The dishes lacked depth and complexity, leaving us disheartened and questioning the chef's culinary prowess.

Optimism waned with each subsequent course. The third course, intended to be a crescendo of flavours, fell flat with its uninspired execution. It was as if the chef had abandoned the pursuit of culinary excellence in favour of mediocrity.

By the time the fourth course arrived, our expectations had plummeted. While marginally better than its predecessors, it still failed to impress. We forced ourselves to consume what we could, hoping that the ordeal would soon come to an end.

As the fifth and sixth courses followed suit, we couldn't help but feel a sense of resignation. The flavours, or lack thereof, left a lingering bitterness in our mouths. Even the dessert, typically a saving grace, failed to salvage the experience. It was a stark reminder of the missed opportunity to showcase the vibrancy and creativity of vegan cuisine.

To compound our disappointment, the price tag of $280 only served to underscore the lacklustre experience. While we're all for investing in a memorable dining experience, the value simply didn't align with what we received. We had hoped to indulge in a culinary adventure worthy of the price tag, but sadly, the reality fell short of justifying the emotional damage of this monetary value.

In hindsight, our evening at Lona Misa serves as a cautionary tale. Despite the chef's credentials, the execution fell short at every turn. For those seeking a memorable culinary experience, we would advise looking elsewhere. Lona Misa may have the pedigree, but it sorely lacks the substance to back it up.

Instead, aspiring chefs should take notes from culinary masters like Gaggan and Daigo, who understand the artistry of spices and flavours of vegan cuisine and can create dishes that tantalise the taste buds and ignite the imagination. Given the chef's past role as a guest chef judge on MasterChef, she obviously has connections like Gary, one of the show's former judges, who could offer invaluable guidance rather than serving...

Pretentious Fodder.

Pros: Cute quirky fit out. Great, lovely professional staff. Creative and passionate all round. Nice ambience. Comfortable. Well appointed.

Cons: Cheeky prices for $2 food cost skimpy portion vegetable dishes kind of makes me feel like someone’s having a laugh. $24 guacamole - it’s some avocado and a handful of corn chips. Grilled broccoli plated as if it’s a steak $30. $32 charred mushroom single shish kebab. $36 for four croquettes. Groups over six will incur an extra 10% on their bill. Someone’s having a massive laugh all the way to the bank.

Side of unpalatable potatoes $18. Blue kipflers look cool and are expensive. They are dry and taste like dirt, especially in old fryer oil. You won’t see a Desiree potato walking a runway, but they are cheap and delicious, and far more suitable for twice cooked Patatas Bravas.

Much like a lot of vegan eateries it’s unfortunately form over function. Who is using the most interesting ingredients… presentation… the exotic game. Often what gets lost is what is most important… is it nourishing and does it taste amazing? You can use the most interesting ingredients and make it look like a renaissance painting and still fail on both accounts.

I’ve seen so many of these businesses come and go. Well meaning people, good intentions, money grab, wrong approach.

Do people actually think that cashew cakes are cruelty free conscious treats? From the barely paid children on the farms in Vietnam where the cashew sap pH burns their hands, to the freight liners, customs import irradiation, transport etc, then soaked and blended so that some plant=good intransigent people feel progressive, unaware of any contradictions to their environmental posturing. The decimation of Agave plants from Mexican national parks. Quinoa unaffordable to locals in Peru due to export demand, natives fill the gap with rice and now their nutrition wanes due to western food fashion appetites. Imported exotic ingredients… sooooo elite eco fashionnnn saving the planettttt. Omega 6 overload yaaah brain and cellular health dog doo emoji.

A scathing restaurant review slash incredibly sloppy philosophical meandering. Apologies for my negativity however I believe the community would be a better place with more thinking, better nutrition and less quasi-religious food fixations.

It’s like people are losing touch with what food is meant to be, and I’m like Batman trying to fight the good fight, using my scathing google review critical negativity powers to try and save Gotham. If people prefer to have a plate of steamed carrots rather than a handful of money then maybe I should open a restaurant? Ride the buzz. Then charge them an extra 10% if they bring their friends/ bring me more business. Why are you still reading this? You’re safe now. Brassica micro...

I've been multiple times, and I love the concept, and the cuisine.

BUT...

Depending the group size you going, it can vary from a nice night out to a total scam :(

The set menu for bigger groups, "9 service" at 89$, if you sum up the total amount of food of these plates, you might get 350g of food pp, total. And that is if you are lucky !

OK... It's tapas style... But there it is really really really not worth the price. You basicly paying 89$ for less quantity of food than in 1 standard main in any restaurant... And OK it's nice cuisine, but it's not the priciest food... No meat no cheese, no super pricey ingredients that could justify that...

It you go, They will bring of the smallest plates you can imagine on the table and ask you to share those with three of your friends, leaving you usually with one or two spoonful of food per main, 1 par entry... (eg. A "main" dish, mushrooms skewer, every sensible person would expect to have a skewer per person ? Not 2, just 1 ! But no, you end up sharing 1 poor skewer and eat 40g of that main... How is that normal ???) Worse, if you are a odd number of people ? One is getting screwed and has even less than the others... Though the solution is easy, pre-portion the food per person on the plates you bring to the table... That way it's easy, each person takes one's portion and done... But no, and you know why ? If they did that, you would see how much you are screwed on quantities, so they keep things together and let you think it's not that small.Before cutting it in tiny parts...

Looking at the plates and how small they are, the skewer for instance, to share for three persons, it Feels like, you'd have the same with a group of two people, than of three people, they couldn't possibly make that smaller...

Solution : if you want to go, and don't get ripped off, you have to enjoy math. You party size must be a multiple of two, but no multiple of three, and a round multiple if you don't want one people just getting screwed even worse than the others...

If you order a la carte is way better portions... But also even pricier..

So sadly as much as I love the cuisine, and atmosphere, I cannot recommend anymore after multiple attempts... Its just not OK. For vegan food, Transformers in Fitzroy is maybe a tiny little more pricey but at least you get what...