La Pizzaiola — Restaurant in Queensland

My experience at La Pizzaiola had an emotional complexity and intensity akin to a Saints Open Girls combined A and B Division training session.

It was 1915h on a Friday evening and La Pizzaiola was bulging at the seams with customers eager to get their hands on a pizza from Toowoomba's "Little Italy". My friends and I exchange warm yet professional greetings. Despite the bustling line, we stroll in confidently, because Matthew, the master of ceremonies, held an ace up his sleeve - a booking for seven. We were greeted by a wild-eyed waitress who halted us in our tracks. Matthew boldly states, "Booking for seven, 7:15". The waitress seems to hear him, but is more worried about the thirty people without seats. "I'm sorry but all these people need a table too", she said frantically as she moved on and left us questioning Western Society's reservation system. The look in her eyes was worrying, as I had seen it once before in the eyes of the Secret Service guarding the White House before the Trump loyalists overpowered them. After she completed an optical pat down of the crowd, she saw no threats and also must have clandestinely researched the meaning of "booking" because 60 seconds later, she gave us a table.

We ordered drinks and revelled in the weeks events. Matthew, who is a significant influencer in the gardening world, delivered the news that he was making the transition to hard copy media and had just finished a photo shoot as a model for Springs Garden World. Matthew was also our cullinary guide for the evening and advised that the pizzas were the main event.

The same wild-eyed waitress took our food order and we ordered a symphony of bruschetta, breads flavoured with garlic and pizzas. She took our order to the kitchen but quickly returned with some limitating circumstances."There are small pizza bases and only 5 medium pizza bases left" she said. We were happy to comply with some alternative pasta options. She went back to the kitchen only to return once more with grave news. "There are no small pizza bases and only 3 medium pizza bases left" she stated with five fingers up obviously indicating the number three. "We have gluten-free bases but that will be four dollars extra per pizza". We quickly made the assessment that was a similiar deal Saddam Hussein gave the Kurds in the mid-80's. She melted back into the kitchen without a word and left us still discussing if we were going to be charged an extra four dollars for the pizzas.

We started to question our own integrity. Were we wrong to believe that we were entitled to the original price of pizza? Is it normal for a restaurant that primarily deals pizzas, to run out of pizza bases at 7:15pm on a Friday night? Are we the villains? Am I even real? While we were trying to deal with our existential crises and the dark and unforgiving holes of our minds that the gluten-free pizza bases had pushed us, our waitress appeared and said there will be no further charge.

The food arrived.The chef paid homage to the ancestral flavours of old Italy. Everyone was satisfied except for me; my food had not yet arrived.

As I began to give up hope, our waitress returned meekly holding 90% of a peaking duck pizza. "I am sorry, but your pizza fell on the floor", she said. She held it out for me to inspect and I wrongfully assumed that only the piece that was missing fell on the floor and said, "That's okay, I will still eat it". I was fooled by her sleight of hand. Like some great magician who had fooled me with an explosion of doves revealed that in-fact, the very pizza she presented me at the table, was unedible. "Oh no, the pizza was stepped on and is not recoverable" she said. "Can I offer you bruschetta?". I declined and she retreated back to the kitchen. Moments later, she reappeared and said that pizza had not been stood on! She gave me the pizza (less a slice) and she said, "I'm just a f*ing idiot tonight".

I will not go into the complications of the bill.

If you can't handle this kind of andrenaline but still want to experience the good food - please...

Cinque stelle! Love the feel of this place. Understated decor but totally immersive and homely. Again, love it. Food was sensazionale. Let's talk menu. Extensive. Also, Comic sans MS - Odd choice. Customisation available. I don't claim to be, by any means, of any sort of Italian descent. Accordingly, I feel it prudent to request a recommended pairing of sauce and pasta when presented with a circumstance of uncertainty. Fortuitously, our waitress CLAIMED to be Italian.

Times being as they are, we had to fill out contact tracing info. A surprisingly good pen. An excellent ball point. Weirdly, something i've come to appreciate in the current climate. Love to know where this glorious pen was sourced. The writing action... my goodness.

Entree: bruschetta. Delicious, crisp and a well-balanced Italian styled salsa (?). Not a hard ask, but a perfect bruschetta was delivered. Some disagreement with Little Miss Italy over the pronunciation of Bruschetta. Google is on my side though we'll have to agree to disagree. Mains: available in large or small. I'd call myself a medium guy normally so difficult to choose. Thank goodness for Little Miss Italy again though, who informed us that take-away leftovers is an option. Cheers for that. FYI, the large serving is huge. Little Miss Italy fell through when asked which was the traditional pasta to have with the mechio sauce. I ended up choosing penne and very much did not regret. Very tomato-ey sauce the mechio. Almost oppressively tomato-ey, but not quite. Call me Goldilocks but I'd say just right. Special was an off-menu chicken dish which was equally satisfying and good serving size. People often say 'generous' serving size which I feel is usually code for too much. Not so for the special. Goldilocks - just right.

We avoided desserts based on our belly's being full to bursting with the delicacies of the Mediterranean. However on another night I'd certainly give them a run. Sticky date pudding is on the menu and good lawd if the sticky date is anywhere near as good as the mains then so help me I'll be damned.

Sounds like some negatives in here but honestly everything was fantastico. Not a great year to hang your Ferrari flag inside but I respect the loyalty. Not at all disappointed. Loved every part of the evening. Recommend...

Supposed to be a special date- Starting with Service- we were seated in the converted arcade….. given menu’s. Within 60 seconds waiter returned to take orders, hadn’t even looked at menu. Wait staff did not come back for 32 minutes, took drink order, beer and Blue lagoon, beer arrived in 19, to be told Blue Lagoon being made, 27 minutes and 1 beer down Blue Lagoon arrived. Took orders. Bruschetta was great, well balanced with correct quality ingredients, lady had Olive dips platter, also great. That’s where it ended, 40 minutes to get mains, port mushroom sauce burned on ladies, would make anyone ill, my 14yo boy can do better. My Gnocchi, overcooked and grainy. Coles pre pack is better. Complained to waiter, after again having to demand some service, he went to kitchen, by this time I was ropable. After 10 minutes I took the plates to the kitchen and vented my thoughts on the mains, owner came out to discuss, I was ready to walk out and really, really unhappy. Advised chef stated sauce was the mushroom flavour, I stated he needs to get his palette checked! In the end the owner advised we were not to pay. We left and it rules me up to think about this place, what was supposed to be a special date ruined by a restaurant that has lost passion, does not look after decor and cannot understand how to get food to all customers in a timely well run manner. Mud pies at pre school and...