Koukla — Restaurant in Victoria

If you're reading this be warned - do not sit down, do not order food - your time, money and palate are valuable things and all will be assaulted if you choose to not listen to my sage advice...

My partner, our pooch and I were meandering around Daylesford, taking in the beautiful sites and looking for a place to enjoy some lunch. All delightfully, innocently unaware we were about to experience daylight robbery by the hospitality industry...

Unfortunately, instead of choosing one of the million other reputable establishments available in Daylesford, we chose cafe koukla/hotel frangos. Absolutely sucked in by the lovely outdoor seating area and fancy looking establishment. Completely unaware of the dark road we were about to walk down...

No service (at all), had to scan a QR code located on the wobbly table and place your order via this. Laughingly they ask for a tip at this stage, not once having interacted with you. Also, due to it being Sunday they added some ungodly surcharge to your bill. Two pizzas cost us around $80, plus a credit card fee on top.

I then decided to grab a beer, since they clearly weren't bringing any water to our table, so walked in the lovely glass doors and to the beautifully lit and well appointed bar. Proceeded to wait several minutes for one of the bar staff, who were having a yarn with each other, to notice me. Got a Schooner of Asahi and paid $18 for it (😮 what?!). The bartender then pulled an already poured beer that was sitting in the fridge, saying it had been poured earlier as a mistake but was still fresh. Hell no - not for $18 bucks - you drink your old flat beer you arse!

After 45 minutes of waiting my partner went to enquire where our meals had wandered off too and when we should be expecting them. The server stared blankly at him before shrugging and saying 'it's busy'. Another 25 minutes slowly and painfully ticked by. Seeing some of the other meals brought out I was starting to get a feeling we were going to be rather disappointed when our food arrived. Still, by this point I was rather famished and could have eaten the waiter when they threw our pizzas on the table and disappeared without saying a word. No cutlery or napkins were provided.

As previously observed, staring down at our overcooked and unremarkable pizzas, the feelings of disappointment became very real. Both were dry, unflavourful and sauceless - my partner's broccoli was burnt and the sausage and cheese almost non existent. Mine was literally just a mound of very thinly sliced mushrooms on some brittle bread that tasted like newspaper and butter. After forcing several bites down it was time to make a hasty exit, never look back and try to erase the afternoon from our minds.

I'm only disappointed I didn't take photos so I could show you the unappetizing "food" we were "served", thus ensuring you too, would never make the...

First of all, the food is just okay, my friends think it’s too salty but my one is alright. Secondly, the service is terrible! The fact: We ordered food and drinks first and paid via the QR code link, then my friend ordered another drink in the end so we went to the counter to pay that one last drink. However, the manager told us we did not pay for the food 🙄️so my friend had to show him the transaction history via bank app, but the manager still told my friend that “you will get a refund later so you need to pay it here again”, which is absolutely ridiculous and a lie! The transaction history shows the payment is pending already. Since the manager was not being honest, my another friend shown him the receipt on his phone after paying via the QR code, then the manager went like: “oh that for another table” but my friend already pointed the table to him at the very beginning. In the end the manager did NOT apologize and said: “oh I did not say that you didn’t pay for your food, I mean you did not pay for the last coffee.” I am super disappointed and offended, I do believe that this guy thinks we are Asian who do not speak good English and thinks we are travelers so won’t come back - if he can trick/fool us to pay again the money will be in his pocket 😡. I won’t come back and do not think any visitors of Daylesford...

Reading some of the other reviews, I was surprised and this was not my experience. My partner and I stopped in at 3pm on Wednesday between Christmas and New Year, the place was busy but we were seated quickly outside and given menus. We ordered the chicken pizza, a glass of the Riesling and a glass of the Sav Blanc. The food and drinks all came quickly. The wines were wonderful and as described on the menu. The pizza was fantastic - it arrived hot and was beautifully made: not dripping in oil or cheese, instead each ingredient was fresh and cooked just perfectly, it was light and tasty. Definitely a unique pizza. Being from Melbourne my partner was keen to sample a decent coffee (Melbourne is famed for it’s amazing coffee and Melbournian’s pride themselves on being coffee connoisseurs); after interrogating the waiter (who held his own) and ascertaining that “Brendon from Ballarat” was the barista for the day and he makes “excellent coffee”, my partner order a skinny latte and he was not disappointed. Probably in the 10 of coffees he’s ever had. Which is high praise indeed, so much so that I’m worried I could have some romantic competition from Brendon from Ballarat! Highly recommend this place for beautiful, tasty pizza, delicious wine and some of the best coffee around. The staff are good for a bit...