Review of Taverna Disastro, Milan

Oh, Osteria Disastro, where do I even begin? Nestled in the heart of Milan, this place promised a culinary journey through Italy but delivered more of a... let's call it an 'adventure' in dining.

Firstly, the pesto. Now, I'm no pesto connoisseur, but when it arrives at your table colder than an ex's heart, you know something's amiss. It wasn't just cool; it was as if it had been prepped in the Arctic. The basil, usually vibrant and lively, seemed to have given up the ghost.

Then, there was the pizza. The cheese, oh the cheese! It had the texture and appeal of something you'd find at the back of your fridge, forgotten since the last millennium. It wasn't melted; it was more like it had been introduced to the concept of heat but decided against participating.

Now, about the service. Our server, let's just say he was... uniquely Milanese in his approach. The service was as warm as the pesto was cold. There was a certain aloofness, a disdain almost, like we were interrupting his very important task of... well, I'm not sure what. And the tip? Ah, the classic Milanese move of leaving a pen and a blank line on the bill. It wasn't a request for a tip; it was more of a silent, awkward standoff. "You will tip me," the pen seemed to whisper, "or face my silent judgment."

In summary, Taverna Disastro managed to blend cold pesto, questionable cheese, and frosty service into one memorable, albeit not in a good way, dining experience. If you're in Milan for authentic Italian cuisine, perhaps give this place a miss unless you're in the mood for a culinary 'adventure'.