Tasca - Boutique das Tapas — Restaurant in Sintra

These are not “boutique tapas”.

This is the kind of slop your drunk college roommate puts together at 4AM as he rummages through the dorm fridge like an injured raccoon.

Cement-colored olives that taste like corrugated cardboard. Fried cuttlefish that resembles a ready-made microwave dinner. Frozen shrimp with store-bought avocado sauce, clinically laid out on a single Pringles chip like a cadaver in a med school anatomy class.

These aren’t tapas.

These are crimes against humanity—perverted affronts to God’s will. The culinary equivalent of sticking your reproductive organ in an industrial cheese grater.

With every self-loathing bite, you become more convinced that there is no actual chef in this godforsaken establishment. Instead, it seems like a spiteful teenager is trying to reverse-engineer military-grade bioweapons out of sheer misanthropy.

“Are you enjoying your food?”, the waiter might ask. The audacity is almost commendable. He knows you’re not enjoying the food. How could you? You have working taste receptors and, presumably, no brain damage. (To be fair, even in a vegetative state, your basal ganglia would immediately reject the pork meat sandwich out of pure prehistoric instinct.)

And yes, there might be a "live-laugh-love" poster on the wall, but the existential sadness of this place is crushing. As you look around to commiserate with your fellow diners, the shared disappointment is palpable. I’ve seen more joy in the waiting room of an abortion clinic. Scratch that. I’ve seen more joy in the soul of a soon-to-be-aborted fetus.

Let me put it like this: I ate here on September 11th, 2024. I could make a compelling case that the “fried cuttlefish” I consumed represents the worst tragedy to occur on that specific date in the history of humanity (and that includes the 1973 coup d’état that kickstarted a brutal fascist regime in Chile).

Also, the sangria was a...

I’m terribly sorry but this experience was just not good.

We had a busy day visiting the beautiful castles of Sintra and were looking for a place to eat. Unfortunately it was a monday and most restaurants were closed. I looked for a tapas place and found this. The reviews were promising and it was next to the train station so we were willing to try it.

We should not have done so. The place was somewhere in the back of a quiet street, the decor was not bad at all, cosy small place. The staff was friendly so that was not the problem either. We looked at the menu and there were lots of things to try.

We ordered our first round and were absolutely dissapointed with what we got. The Shrimp with guacamole: A paprika flavored Pringle with a supermarket bought shrimp on it and guacamole from a can. The cheese and meat platter: All items found at the cheap aisle of the local supermarket. It tasted like nothing. The best was the bruschetta, which was just some toast with melted cheese on it. Can’t screw that up. The tower of meat was not available, maybe it would have saved our experience.

The cook even came out and said If something doesnt taste nice its my fault as a joke. We were too embarrassed to say anything. We left after one round, still hungry. You could tell from the face of the waitress she was not happy. I don’t know how it got this many good reviews, but i would not...

Our best and most authentic food and wine experience in Portugal, with marvelous service from the owner! The prices are very convenient and actually cheaper for the portions and the quality (we hate and avoid Tourist Traps). Literally, we came two times here, since the experience was so exquisite in the first one and we wanted to try even more dishes the next. Totally worth it!

On day 1 we ordered the Moellas, Chouriço Assado and Arroz de Pato. On day 2 the Guacamole con Camaraõ, Lincuiça com Mel, Francesinha and Pasteis de Bacalhau.

Everything delicious, but we specially recommend the Guacamole con Camaraõ (amazing spicy touch and full fresh flavor), Chouriço Assado (outstanding new flavor with Cachaza liquor) and the Francesinha (so much melted cheese!). All of this together with a Quinta do Parral wine, absolutely the best wine we have tried, dry and full of body. It definitely needs decanter!

The service is really top, since the owner himself comes and explains and recommends dishes for you. He is super friendly and funny as well.

Amazing place and wonderful experience! If we ever come back to Sintra Lisbon we will definitely...