Aphrodite's Bar and The Oyster Club — Restaurant in Birmingham

I have visited the Oyster Club last Friday (12. April 2019) with my father and must say we left in shock. There was a big hype about the grand opening of this restaurant (just at the beginning of April) and I was really looking forward to it as a treat for my father who came all the way from home to visit me. To be absolutely honest I was expecting a lot as I knew owner is Adam Stokes, michelin-starred and has one of the probably best running restaurant in Birmingham, if not the UK (Adam's - just around the corner). Firstly we had the option to sit at the bar or a table on the lower part of the restaurant. We went for the second, because we wanted some privacy and have a better chat (which turned out to be a bad choice, as we were simply forgotten). Our first waiter was an absolutely lovely guy originally from France and did a wonderful job. He seemed a bit overly eager, as he came to our table multiple times, even though we clearly were still studying the menu. After a few attempts he was finally able to take our order: A bottle of white wine, water - first course mussels and the octopus salad, second course we chose to share the turbot. The wine and water came, everything was wonderful. They took the wine bottle off the table (quite normal, no problem with that) - but that was pretty much it what we saw from the wine. We had to ask for a refill from our bottle multiple times. Our assigned waiter was gone (as he was relocated to the upper part of the restaurant) and somehow we were forgotten. Our first dish came out. It was very tasty (even though the portions were tiny and therefore price-performance ratio was quite off - but hey - I am still dining in an Adam Stokes restaurant - what else to expect?). The mussels came in a wonderful sauce, but there was no bread served with it. As we asked the waiter (for whom we had to wait 10 minutes) she just said (very snappy) we should have ordered some bread. So we ordered some bread, but had to wait another 20 minutes and ask multiple times for the bread to come. As a result our first dish was cold before we could continue dining. (And remember - our wine was still not filled up). A clear sign communication is not yet working here, the staff is not in routine. Nothing too shocking in a newly opened restaurant (but clearly expecting better when eating in a restaurant like this). Now things went absolutely down hill: The second dish came before we were done with our first dish. Out table was not cleaned, we even had food left. So our second dish went to the kitchen again, our first dish cleaned (still with some food left) and the turbot came again. Unfortunately due to this miscommunication in the kitchen out second dish was cold. We got our waiter to come (as we would expect at least a warm main dish in a restaurant like this) - and explained her we were hoping for a different experience. She checked my fish WITH HER BARE HANDS if it was cold and then said the would bring it back to the kitchen. 5 minutes later THE SAME FISH came out again - now being a bit warmer, but only tasting like warm butter. The (as it seemed) head waitress had taken over our service after this, but did not seem too apologetic about the things that happened. After all we have to say they took off the food from our bill - leaving us with only the drinks. But all in all it was disappointing and frustrating. No communication between waiters and kitchen. And most shockingly a severe incidence regarding health and safety - a waitress touching my food and...

I was asked by a waitress how I found my food. My response was simple ... Underwhelming, because I didn't want to swear.

For a somewhat boujee restaurant, I expected SO much more than what was on offer. Given the hype, I expected something to write home, or at least a good Google review about. I was wrong. Even more disappointing, it was my good friends birthday and it didn't feel like a special occasion and we had to suffer the uppity service of this place to boot.

Firstly, on entrance the lack of warm and welcoming greeting was shocking. The host half heartedly directed us to where the party were waiting and returned to whatever she was doing on her phone. Despite there being a cloakroom, nobody was offered for their coats to be taken.

Drinks were ordered and I was quite taken back by the attitude of the waiter when asked about items on the drinks menu. I was made to feel as though questions shouldn't be asked. I ordered what I thought would be a pint of beer, given the price. Nope, £6.00 for HALF A PINT of what wasn't even craft beer.

I was mortified when I had a look at the menu. It was limited and basic, at best. Again, given the hype of this place I had high expectations to discover something different on the menu.and to have a culinary experience to remember.

The prices are ridiculous, given the meagre portion sizes. I've seen bigger kids meals, I kid you not.

I ended up ordering beer battered fish and chips. I mean... The menu was that uninspiring, I didn't want anything else and I felt that may be the biggest thing on the menu. Again, judging by what others in the party ordered, I wasn't wrong. A colleague ordered the cod loin - at £30, the portion size is an absolute crime against humanity. The circular piece of cod looked even smaller on the large plate it was served on. To add insult to injury, you have to order additional sides to accompany it. Ludicrous!

The fish was, by far, the blandest beer battered fish I have ever had the displeasure of eating. It was evidently seasoned with hopes and dreams... Almost thought I had COVID for a moment because not one of my taste buds were activated. To make it worse... SEVEN chips accompanied the fish. I wanted to flip a table by this point to be honest. The food service was atrocious. How is it possible to bring out mains, but not the sides at the same time? Reckless business practice IMO.

If more passion was placed into creating taste sensations and a memorable dining experience... paying £100 for two meals, with no starter and 2 HALF pints of beer wouldn't have been so painful. I've not been this disappointed in a restaurant for a long time. The restaurant being pretty empty on Saturday evening screamed volumes. This isn't an experience , it's extortion. I do...

Well Well Well, how was our night at the Oyster club?

My girlfriend and I had two completely different experiences. Her night was great and mine was underwhelming.

She had 35 Dry Aged Steak - Ribeye (7/10) and Tempura King Prawns (10/10). The portions were great and the food was really really good - for her.

She also ordered a bottle of red wine (Petite Sirah Bogle Vineyards, California USA) - it was sweetish (I am not really a wine guy) but it was sweeter than the other reds I have had so not too bad.

This ends the fun night because I on the other hand, I might as well have been robbed with a gun.

I had the full lobster (£80 pounds), 3 Cooked Oysters and Whipped Cod’s Roe. As you can see, I have specifically put the price of the lobster but we shall speak on that later.

The 3 Cooked Oysters honestly didn’t taste like anything. They really just passed through my tongue - I guess it might be an acquired taste. For the price ? Maybe we can overlook it.

The Whipped Cod’s Roe was honestly just the same as biscuits and with mayonnaise but again I am not too fussed about this one.

My gripe as you already know is with the £80 pounds lobster. Firstly I made the mistake of being absolutely starving and going to a restaurant. I mean I should have eating a bit a home and then maybe the night would have been better?

Guys the portion of the lobster? It was ridiculously small for £80. I have been to Burger and Lobster in London and their 2 pound whole lobster is £62 pounds and I usually can’t walk after.

The lobster didn’t even come with any sides?? Hello!!

Make it £85 and give me chips or something to fill my tummy please. Man I could have spent it £15 to take a coach to London and £65 pounds to have a better lobster meal than what I was served.

I could have ordered 2 steak meals that my girlfriend had for £70 combined and had a better night than that £80 lobster. Hers came with chips

We need to work on our portions The Oyster Club.

The dessert was okay, it couldn’t rescue my night unfortunately. Chocolate Foundant I believe

The waiters were lovely - shout out to Rob.

Not sure about parking spaces as I don’t live in Birmingham.

All in all? Yeah well you...