Andreas Kebabs & Pizzas — Restaurant in England

I am generally a man of few words, but tonight, I have more than I could possibly conjur into a single review for the quality of food I received from Andreas. They purport to use only the "freshest, quality ingredients" to create "flavorful" (a dreadful Americanism) dishes. The man who wrote this was clearly deranged or rather, born lacking refinement, tastebuds and braincells, as even the simplest of simpletons, with no real knowledge of food or even life itself, could tell that the dreary, greasy, soggy sludge that is routinely churned out by this poor excuse for a cuisine house is not even of good enough standing to be served to pigs, let alone paying adults!

Looking past the horrific grammatical errors on the very front page of their website, the food we received tonight was, quite frankly, appalling. Where the fries were soggy and tasteless, as a result of a very obvious lack of seasoning of any kind, the chicken strips more than made up for that. Each bite transported me to the magical land that is the salt flats of Northern Utah. Not because they had an authentic taste reminiscent of true American fried chicken, but rather, because the sheer quantities of salt in the batter made me feel like I'd been suddenly stranded in the hottest and most unforgiving wasteland know to man and left without hydration for several days, leaving no me gasping for water and feeling moments from dying of thirst. If they had used a quarter of that amount of salt on the chips, the meal may not have been a total disaster.

Finally, we move onto the pizza. I have to say, I wasn't expecting much. I'm aware of the demographic of people these places typically pander to, but I thought I would humour them; 'it can't be that bad' I said to myself 'they're supposed to specialise in pizza!' How wrong I was. This soggy, tasteless, bland, drab, cheap and generally unpleasant creation, as someone of Italian heritage, quite frankly offended me. I have nothing more to say on the matter other than please stop making food, it is clearly not your forte. Call this slander if you like, I call it speaking the truth, and I am more than entitled to my opinion, and I'll keep the remainder of this very memorable meal (for the wrong reasons), as evidence that on this occasion, my opinion is probably valid. I shall not be ordering...

The fried chicken Firstly I would like to start by saying that this takeaway has the latest delivery times in Bedford, that's probably why it has survived so long in this very competitive town.

When ringing Andreas to place an order you get the always, ready to be rude, no customer service, person on the other end that makes it sound like he/she is doing you a favour by answering the call (never a thank you at the end of the call, just hang up).

The overall range of food is OK considering the time of night you place an order, usually after a skin full.....

Burgers and pizza are cooked fresh and to order, and usually good. My reason for writing this review is the fried chicken, pre cooked and in a display counter, then looked like it had been refried again before sent out to me, I'm a well traveled man who has been to many countries eating a vast array of street food but this chicken is just not fast food takeaway or street food quality its more like gutter quality, I mean I wouldn't feed it to my enemy's dog, or any scavenging insects living in the bottom of my wheelie bin. Extra charges are incurred if asking for the chilli sauce or mayo to be supplied separate in containers,(which is unheard of in Bedford). A mixture of cheap economy brand brown sauce with tomato sauce is what Andreas like to call chilli sauce, so you would definitely not let them tip that all over your chips but order it on the side.

I'm just pre warning anyone that reads this review that if you must order from Andreas, order something that cant be made in advance but made to order and be prepared if you want something to dip your chips into to pay extra, don't forget to ask for salt and vinegar on you chips or you wont get any... On the plus side, the delivery drivers are always happy people and always have change...

NB: These photos are my own homemade kebab and not what I received from Andreas!! I wanted to leave a review really just help Andreas out, its totally up to them wether they take any advice/comments on board. I recently ordered a lunch from Andreas. I am vegan and ordered a 'vegetarian kebab' - I added a note to the order asking if they sold 'falafel' as some restaurants in Bedford do and its a wildly popular food in the vegan, vegetarian and even meat eating community. It seems to cause some confusion and I was told that they 'don't do that kind of thing' - What I actually received was incredibly unimaginative, essentially it was shredded cabbage and iceberg lettuce with a few tomatoes and a few box standard jarred olives. Look, heres the thing, I am sure Andreas makes loads of money and is very successful, they have been around for a long time. I just want to give them the opportunity to take a side look at what they are doing, possibly rethink their approach to cuisine and maybe have a refresh of their menu, at least offer something more for the vegan and veggie community, a community that is growing. Restaurants like Zizz's, Wagamamas and many others are now offering full vegan menus and its great! Even meat eaters are getting on board with foods like this, its a nice change. I just wanted to share with you a picture of my lunch today, it was a third of the price to put together and tasted 100 times better, and was healthy. If you have read the review then I thank for the time, good luck with your business. I personally wouldn't order from here again but I am sure if you aren't vegan and just want to chow down on your box standard 'meat feast pizza' or 'donnor kebab' then I am sure it ticks the right...