Riddle & Finns The Lanes — Restaurant in Great Britain

Date: 31st August 2024 Cost: £150 for two

As Mum and I threaded our way round Brighton one Saturday morning, stringing on second-hand stores and thrift shops like Charms for a PandoraTM (on second thoughts possibly not quite like that), I pointed out various Options for her Birthday Lunch Treat (BLT). There was Moksha, the old fave, but I’ve been there with Dad and we’d have to double back - we’d yet to attain the requisite stepcount to feel like we’d really earned our lunch - and we wouldn’t want to tie our thread in knots. There was Solera, for tapas, which received enough oohs and ahhs to cement it as a maybe (Mum doesn’t give those out for nothing). There was Ten Green Bottles, but we wanted something more substantial than cheese and wine, as indicated by Mum’s sudden and uncharacteristic interest in a standing room only burger bar.

And then there was Riddle & Finns. I was maneouvering us in that direction anyway, partly to gauge those oohs and ahhs like some 90s TV clapometer, but primarily just to get us to the next shop I wanted to visit. With R&F’s no-booking policy I’d expected this to end up a pie-in-the-sky pipedream, not a fully-fledged and realistic Option, given estimated waits far longer than my patience every time I’d been past previously. But hang on! Is there… no queue?! Should we enquire, just in case? Mum’s eyes lit up, soundlessly splitting the clapometer right down its centre.

The waiter, whose position at a bustling city restaurant during the Saturday lunchtime rush we questioned, kept us in suspense, but the maître d' was much more accommodating, and seated us with a flourish at the outdoor high table in front of the kitchen. This was great, and contributed to our delay to ordering, as we snacked on bread and various dips served in shells and watched the young staff go about their business with aplomb.

We got the oyster selection - because why not? - and I tried a Black Velvet to go with mine, Guinness and champagne, which was delicious at first but quickly seemed to curdle. The most surprising thing about the oysters was the variety of shape, size and taste across the different types and the fact that Mum chews hers. I did the same on my third - just enough to release a bit more flavour and was immediately converted - now something else I’ve inherited from her. It was difficult to believe she was enjoying her BLT given the floods of tears streaming down her cheeks after a drop of Tabasco went down the wrong hole but she assured me she was, very much.

After the waiter talked me out of the ginger and chilli Singapore crab on account of the danger cracking saucy pincers might pose to my nice new shirt, I ordered the black lentil fish curry. Flakes of stonebass fillet came apart from its crispy blackened skin at the prod of a fork, and actually, the potato gave a weight to the dish that rice might not have done, acting simultaneously as a carbohydrous base and a bulker-upper that prevented me from gobbling all the fish down in seconds. Onion bhaji and some rocket and/or watercress added flavour and texture contrast.

Mum went for a linguine and we got some broccoli to share on the side.Both were delicious. I didn’t deign to steal any of the actual seafood from Mum’s bowl - not on her BLT - but it all looked juicy and generous; the pasta and sauce was somehow rich and light at the same time. I tried my very best not to stare at it over the course of the 20 minutes longer Mum took to finish her dish than I did mine - a result, I think, of our much catching up to do, and an attempt to savour it.

“Best lunch I’ve had in ages”, was her verdict when the maître d' came over to check up on us. He slapped me on the arm with a menu. “First time here? I love new converts”, he said. Mum took that same arm as we sauntered off back into the Lanes, onto our next destination. Best lunch I’ve...

RIDDLE & FIDDLE....with emphasis on the latter !

Strolling through the narrow street along which this restaurant is located we were attracted by its marble table tops and its blackboard promoting the fish of the day.

Welcome was friendly and we were seated immediately.

The interior was cozy and also featured an open kitchen.

From the extensive seafood & fish menu we selected a bream tartare, salt & pepper calamari and black lentil fish curry.

Unfortunately there weren't any draught beers available (only some bottled ones or in a can?) so we selected a French white Muscadet wine (surprisingly no local white wines available?).

Before the bream tartare being served, without us asking for it, four half slices of bread with two condiments were served, which we thought was a nice gesture.

The bream tartare was exquisite and well presented and the salt & pepper calamari and black lentil fish (cod) curry were ok, however it took way too long for these last two dishes being served, something which must have been the result of a timing or priority problem in the kitchen since the restaurant at the time of our visit had only a few tables occupied.

At the end when we received the bill we noticed UKP 11,17 was added to the bill under the heading "Service Charge 12,5%" with the following added "12,5% service charge was automatically added.....and a little further "Service charge is discretionary"

When we asked the waitress for an explanation for this so called discretionary service charge we were informed this was a government decision?......but that we could opt out???....huh!

Normally you leave a % of service charge to the customer and add any relevant % after the customer indicates it (this is definitely a feature option of handheld card readers which we experienced at other dining venues we visited in this region), instead of automatically adding an amount linked to a fixed percentage simply on the assumption that the guest experience deserved this fixed %, and then giving customers the embarrassing option to opt out.

We paid the bill and left

Returned at our hotel we checked again the bill and noted that a further UKP 4,00 was added under the heading "Cover Charge x 2".....and only after checking the menu again we noticed in the small letters text at the bottom "There is a cover charge of UKP 2,00 per head, which includes freshly baked bread & a selection of condiments"

We also noticed that 87p was added to the bill under the heading "StreetSmart" with at the bottom of the bill written "Thank you for helping the homeless with your StreetSmart donation. An automatic 87p donation has been added onto your bill, if you wish to opt out just let one of our staff know :)"

Seems at this restaurant customers need to read the complete text of the menu so as to not have any surprises when paying the bill and having to make embarrassing decisions (since who doesn't want to help the homeless, who cares about UKP2 for some bread and butter and who doesn't want the staff to get a decent remuneration for their efforts?) .....obviously not a money issue but a principle issue !

Not really a venue we would recommend, a venue which isn't really offering value for money and in fact an extra...

The rating should be 4.5 rather than 4. The only reason for it not being 5 was the portion of my fish dish as explained in the review below. The overall experience was outstanding. My friends and I decided to to go to Brighton for lunch. As I am Gluten Free it takes ages to find Gluten Free restaurants. I finally narrowed down 2 Sushi restaurants. When we reached there 1 of the 3 of us decided they didn't feel like Sushi 😐 and preferred local sea food being in Brighton; which in hindsight was a good call as we had a fantastic meal at Riddle & Finns. We googled Sea food restaurants and Riddle & Finns showed up. I knew it was pricey so had omitted it from my selection but since everyone was hungry we decided to take a look. When we went in it was busy but because they had a 4 course set menu for 35 pounds and the food smelt divine we decided to eat there. They had a separate Gluten Free menu which was great and were very particular about food allergy. We started with a bread basket with Mackerel Pate, Taramasalata and horse radish sauce. When they brought it and I asked if they had some GF bread, they whisked it away and brought another one with Gluten free Blinis as the bread was in the tray with the Pate and so they didn't want to risk cross contamination. The Pate was so delicious we were wondering whether to get another round! My friends got the seafood platter as a main which was 75 pounds minimum 2 people. They said it was very good with scallops, oysters, mussels, prawns & Octopus. I had the #Gluten Free Smoked Haddock fillet on a bed of Colcannon, with poached egg, Prosciutto and Champagne sauce. The Sauce was delicious, the fish very fresh BUT the fish was wafer thin. It was most likely sliced horizontally as no fish is that thin. For 29 pounds I didn't expect to eat more potatoes than fish! This was my only complaint hence the 4 star rating. I expected a chunky piece of fish. There was an offer on the Negronis for 5 pounds each and 1 round Free if you join their membership. The Negroni was served in a really small glass hence the 5 pounds but was well made. The other 2 finished with a beautiful looking dessert platter that they said was yummy but unfortunately the only #GF dessert was a truffle or Ice cream. When I tried to pick a truffle off the plate from the side without the Gluten, Dave the server said he'd bring me a fresh truffle if I wanted and not to take a chance as he took allergies very seriously. Dave rocks! He took such good care of my Gluten Free requirements. I would recommend this place to anyone looking for good sea food, good service and a lovely atmosphere with candles on the table too 😃 Big shout out to our server Dave for his...