Wilde on the Porch — Restaurant in Miami Beach

My family and I had the misfortune of dining at this establishment, and it was an utterly deplorable experience from start to finish. Hoping for a pleasant meal with my wife and teenage daughter, we were instead met with inedible food, a suffocating atmosphere, and an assault on our senses that left us regretting ever stepping foot in this place.

Let’s start with the food – or rather, the travesty they serve us. The prosciutto from the BLT, tasting rancid and leaving an unpleasant aftertaste that lingered far too long. The fried chicken sandwich was a dry, tasteless brick, completely devoid of flavor or moisture, making each bite a chore. And the onion rings? A disgrace to the name. Instead of crisp, golden rings, we were served overcooked onion mush in a round shape, held together by a greasy batter shell. It’s clear the kitchen has no regard for quality or care in preparation.

The atmosphere was equally horrific. This place advertises a “hookah lounge,” but what they fail to mention is that the hookah lounge is the whole place, not a lounge inside the restaurant. When we arrived, the air was deceptively clear, luring us into a false sense of security. But once seated outside, people arrived all around us, the smoke descended upon us like a thick, choking fog. My daughter was forced to cover her face with her jacket just to breathe, while I had only a greasy napkin. This is not a dining experience – it’s a health hazard. Hours after leaving, I felt sick, my throat raw and irritated from the toxic cloud we were forced to endure.

To top it all off, the music was unbearably loud, and I have hearing loss. It made conversation impossible, even among those seated at the same table. We were practically shouting just to hear each other, and we were sitting outside.

This place is a masterclass in how to alienate customers and ruin what could have been a simple family meal. The food is atrocious, and the overall experience is one I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Save your money, your taste buds, and your lungs, steer clear of this disaster masquerading as...

Worst service I have ever experienced. I went with my friend to have dinner there and as soon as we were seated, the short waitress with the glasses had the worst attitude towards us. When we ordered drinks my friend ordered a lemonade and I ordered a mojito. I didn’t realize I had forgotten my id in my other bag so I told the waitress this and she snapped at me and told me I couldn’t order it then walked off. I completely understand that she couldn’t serve me without the drink but had she been polite from the start I would have just gone upstairs to grab my id from my other bag. After she walked off my friend and I were discussing how we felt very uncomfortable because of her rude attitude and decided that when she came back we would just tell her we would go somewhere else. When she finally came back with the lemonade we immediately told her that we were going to go somewhere else. She then proceeded to scream at us saying “Ok well you still have to pay for the lemonade!” even though it had just been placed on the table and my friend didn’t even touch it. We asked her if she could give us a lid at least if we had to pay for the drink and she screamed “No we don’t have lids!” then walked off again. That’s when the man sitting at the table directly behind us got my attention and started chatting with us about how badly she treated us. It was so bad other customers had to point out her awful attitude. I’ve honestly never had a worse experience at a restaurant before and I work in food industry so I completely understand the stress. The waitress was just flat out disrespectful and I would never in a million years go back there or recommend that...

A Hidden Gem in the Heart of Miami – Alijo a superstar at Wilde in The Porch

From the moment we arrived at Alijo at Wilde in The Porch, we knew we were in for something special. Nestled within one of Miami’s most vibrant and stylish venues, this place isn’t just a bar or restaurant—it’s an experience.

What truly sets Alijo apart is the warmth of its service. The team made us feel genuinely welcome from the second we walked in, striking the perfect balance between attentive and easygoing. It felt less like being served and more like being looked after by old friends who are passionate about creating memorable moments.

The drinks? Absolutely exceptional. Every cocktail was a work of art—crafted with intention, precision, and an obvious love for the craft. The flavors were bold yet balanced, with unexpected twists that made each sip a discovery. Whether you’re a cocktail connoisseur or just looking for something refreshing and new, Alijo will leave your palate completely satisfied.

And the food—wow. Every bite was bursting with flavor, from shareable plates that sparked conversation to hearty dishes that left us smiling and full. You can tell there’s heart in the kitchen; the ingredients are fresh, the presentation thoughtful, and the taste unforgettable.

Alijo at Wilde isn’t just a night out—it’s the kind of place that lingers in your memory long after the music fades. It’s the fusion of world-class drinks, soulful food, and heartfelt hospitality that makes this place shine. We came for a casual evening, and left with a new favorite in Miami. Don’t walk—run to experience it...