Cafe Heaven — Restaurant in Provincetown

Man, the decor is great here, but the food and the service...ugh. Much like earlier reviewers, if we hadn't have been so starved, I am pretty sure I would have left after the appetizer and first drink.

SEATING: After we were seated, each of us went to the bathrooms (at separate times), then we waited an additional 10 minutes before the HOST came, not the waiter, the host. He asked if anyone had taken our order....another 5 minutes goes by before someone does. So from seating to the time our order was taken...at least 20 minutes?

DRINKS & APPS: The drinks arrived about 10 minutes after we ordered them, and we didn't receive ours at the same time. (*Cheers?) The Manhattan was average, and the beer was as expected. Our first appetizer was mediocre- some kind of seafood cake if I recall. We have been checked on zero times at this point by our waiter, but I ignored the urge to just go. And that was a mistake. 20-30 minutes later the second appetizer we order comes- and it is far too salty, but the waiter doesn't know this because he hasn't stopped at our table. We have flagged down 2 different people, but one is just the host, and the other is a very busy waiter. Yet neither take our food away. Finally the other (real) waiter comes, and does take the food away. I see him argue quietly with the chef, who is glaring at us, and the waiter returns and suggests another dish to have. That was pretty good, but at this point I kind of just want to leave or have another beer and try to ignore the feeling that we are not welcome. So I intend to do the latter, but the waiter is chatting it up with another table and is DEEP in conversation; I'm not sure actually if he took a seat with them?

FINALE: Finally my dining companion gets up, goes to the bar, and orders our drink and asks for our bill. The bar is closing, and still has a few people, so this takes the bartender about 10 minutes...during which the waiter is still talking away... Yes, sadly, it does get worse. Another waiter picks up the bread plate from our table, and, thinking I have finished, puts it atop the plate I am still picking at without asking me. Ew! Our real waiter does return and is apologetic and entertaining, so I decide to leave him a generous 12% tip. But I get my credit card statement a couple weeks later and the guy has added a "1" in front of the tip! I have to call the place 3 different times to speak with Patrick, who is probably the best thing about this place. He reverses the charge on my credit card within the hour. I didn't mention to him what a drag the experience was, but I don't think they would really care seeing as how this place thrives on...

I've eaten here dozens of times over the years. It's one of my favorite places for breakfast or brunch, but they do a nice job on lunch and dinner too. I don't think they take reservations because nobody I know has ever made them there, so it boils down to timing. If there are more than 4 or 5 people waiting outside, you might have a little wait as the place only seats about 40 people (just an estimate based on my visual recall). But sometimes you get lucky and a few tables open up at once. On the downside, the tables are packed close together, so your neighbors are close enough to start a conversation. But it's always buzzing with activity, such that anyone not next to you or across from you often can't be heard above the din anyway. It's not annoyingly loud or it wouldn't be so popular and I wouldn't keep going back, but if you're looking for a quiet, romantic setting, there are plenty of other places in town that can provide that in abundance. And if your waiter is a little bit rude, don't take it personally--that's part of P-Town's offbeat charm--as long as they serve you well, which is pretty consistent. The decor is gallery-like, with high walls covered in original artwork, all of it for sale by local artists. To suit the Heaven theme, the upper walls and I think the ceiling too, are painted like a blue sky with fluffy clouds. Cute, but the paintings hanging everywhere are far more interesting. Menu prices are reasonable for a seaside resort in season, and portions are fairly generous. Undecided? Try it! It's lively with good food and great for people watching, especially if you get one of the rare...

I was looking to splurge since it was my birthday and my traveling companion had eaten here the night before and enjoyed the bouillabaisse. However my experience left me disappointed.

The house savignon blanc was bright, grapefruity and served deliciously cold, although it seemed to take a while to arrive.

My starter serving of 2 lobster corn cakes tasted nothing like lobster nor corn and were served brutally charred and the texture was rather limp. My dining partner and I suffered through trying to make the most of them until about 1/3 of one was left but we couldn't take it any more. My server said they were one of the place's favorites and remarked that we could have said something earlier. True.

My dinner mate had a good burger while I had the Piri Piri chicken which was flavorful but I found it a bit overdone. The accompanying vegetable was forgettable and the cheesy grits had an uneven texture ranging from smooth to chunky even to the point of crunchy in the same bite.

We enjoyed an after dinner drink and I noticed a couple of tables away one of the diners was enjoying what looked like to be a bread basket. As my check arrived I questioned the server if bread was extra. He questioned, "You didn't get bread?" and when I replied that I hadn't no apology was offered.

The unevenness of the food and the service from this one experience left me dissatisfied in general and doubly disappointed on...