Trad'r Sam — Restaurant in San Francisco

I’m hesitant to call this place a tiki bar, but rather a dive bar with tiki flair. You take away the rums, bowls, fresh fruit, some minimal décor and you’ve got a dive bar at it’s core.

This is not Smugglers Cove, False Idol, Forbidden Island or Tonga Room, though even among those 4 there are various emphasis’ and specialties, so to lump them all into the tiki culture might be a bit much.

Having closed them down on a Friday, opened them on a Saturday and then closed them down again on a Saturday I’d made my reputation pretty quickly. They open super early, which is a plus.

Cash only with an ATM inside.

You’ll see some locals blasting cigarettes out front, probably to cover up the smell of decades of spilled drinks in the carpet and the faint waft of urine from who knows where. The bar is bang right in front of you with not that many seats, tables around and a jukebox. Small groups of what I would call tourists, not regulars come to share punch bowls. Couples come to find out their fresh juice mantra is stunted by the processed syrups and mixers they use, so it’s basically just garnishing. I came here to hang with the bartenders who were pretty cool and get a real regular experience. I’ve never had a bartender turn down food, so 2am pizza to sneak in a last call round or breakfast burrito at opening as an apology for the previous nights drunk antics do more than ingratiate yourself with them. Don’t’ forget the door guy too.

Prices are affordable in a city that isn’t. Service is as good as you want it to be, a true mirror for your wants. The regulars/locals rule this place and change the whole vibe of the place with just a few overproofed rum drinks. The décor is more bolt on tiki flair than actual thought being put into the set up/design and true vision for the place to be truly tiki. Bathrooms are a mess, juke box selection sucks. Seriously people, don’t dance in here, it’s small, it’s cramped half the time and you just look intoxicated. The ice cream drinks are sure to give you a stomach ache and people think the drinks are strong because they are used to drinking jack & cokes with 90% coke. Much in the way that most of Starbucks drinks are massively sugar ladel drinks and not coffee anymore, so is true for many of the drinks here, they are just overloaded with mixers and sugars and lack the balance of a true cocktail, but that’s not to say they can’t do a good drink. You just gottta know what to order. Don’t be a hero and try and drink bowls...

One of the last tiki lounges left in the bay area. Still owned by the same family since the 1930s. It's a favourite for locals during the daytime mostly, but come evening its jam packed by suits, hipsters, gangsters and a local church choir. Best bartenders possible (unless they don't know you, or your not cute, in which case they will treat you like the transient swine that you are). The island drinks rock. If you want to get loaded get the scorpion bowl. If the scorpion doesn't work well enough get a P-38. Beer is NOT on tap, 'cause its not. Credit cards are not accepted 'cause they're not. There is an atm inside on the left hand side. If it's busy good luck getting to it. Always, always treat the doorman with respect... or bad things will happen :)

Ugh. Make sure to drink a lot of water if scorpion bowls you decide to drink......

Hhhnnnnhgggg do I someone over you try to Sam’s a restaurant shop for beverages with a begin let me begin with the amount of time it takes to order a beverage it takes a long time you have to be patient when we came of that was only one barman over person and they took a long time today can order them and even a longer time to take a drink it’s about 30 minutes from ordering a drink to getting the drink which requires a lot of patience if you’re thirsty I would recommend though when you do order a drink that you get the banana cow because I ordered another drink first and it was like grape juice or grape cough syrup which was OK I don’t mind it but the banana cow is like if you took a banana milkshake and then you put a lot of alcohol in it and then you put whip cream on top and then you eat it you drink...