Uneeda Burger — Restaurant in Seattle

We’re new to town and we thought we’d explore the local area. The exterior suggested a cool, laid back outdoor eatery, and upon arrival we were greeted by an exciting street food atmosphere with barely a seat in sight. Initially it wasn’t clear how to order, but there was only service at the bar. Being from the UK this wasn’t a problem. As we approached the counter this is where things began to turn awry; the server’s manner truly left a lot to be desired. A mispell of a name isn’t the worst thing in the world, but rudeness shouldn’t be tolerated.

I’m not sure if this was a cultural difference, but, seeing as we’d ordered at a kiosk, we didn’t tip before we’d had any service. And it’s lucky we didn’t because despite the army of servers working behind the counter, the long wait left me feeling like I was dying on the battlefield of the hundred years war.

My friend and I took it upon ourselves to order the healthy option: the Buddha Bowl. Lucky we had the patience of the dish’s namesake considering the ludicrous waiting time! Rancid is the first word that comes to mind when describing the flavours of this dish. A bitter mish-mash of garden salad and a dry patty excreted onto the leaves. Nothing enlightening about that ensemble.

I guess we were the favoured duo of the group seeing as they actually delivered our grub. I think in total we were missing 25% of our table’s order, which in a way they made up for by delivering one of our dishes twice.

Cheep cheep went the birds as we nibbled on our dry rancid slop - and let me tell you this was the only ‘cheep’ (cheap) part of this experience. The salad came in at a whopping $16 which in all honesty made me feel like a bankteller after a visit from Bonnie + Clyde - that is to say, I felt robbed.

When we arrived we were hopeful we’d be greeted by a bustling exciting LA-style foodhouse, but as the crowds thinned, along with our patience, the barren landscape felt like the great Sahara Desert: no oasis in sight, and no hope of rescue. Even a mirage of food would suffice.

I would like to warn others to not visit this establishment unless, in fact, you revel in the atmosphere described above! Not a...

got the mushroom burger and cheese curds

I was pretty happy with how this burger turned out

starting with the beef patty - this was really, really good The inside was a perfect pink color - certainly not overcooked in the slightest - and this meant it retained incredible juiciness and flavor A lot of places just auto-cook their patties well done, so I'm really glad this place didn't do that The patty was also thick (it was 1/3 lb), so it almost felt like a double patty burger

My favorite part of this might be the buns, though they were oiled thoroughly, but the outside still provided a fantastic crispy base and the inside was incredibly soft the strong amount of aioli provided in here certainly helped make this better as well

The gruyere was also quite good

What I didn't like, however, were the toppings. I found the mushrooms to be surprisingly quite bad - considering this was a "Mushroom Burger" They were chewy and hard - and not soft at all like you'd expect from cooked mushrooms. I know how to make mushrooms better than this at home Other than that, there weren't any notable toppings to speak of

I also got a side of fried cheese curds with this meal The flavor on these was really good - as you could feel the oil on the breading I did notice that all of these were basically stuck together in one large piece - and i had to separate them this is because the breading wasn't really crispy or crunchy in any way like you would expect from fried foods - rather it was a bit soggy and very stretchable The inside still did taste very good, but i would have to say it would be improved with a crunchy bite

the chipotle mayo sauce i got to dip in was really good, though

for the price, I think the burger is a pretty great deal. only 11 dollars for the entire thing is quite impressive. the cheese curds - maybe less so because there's not that many of them - but it's not bad

Overall, a strongly above average burger and side...

Here’s the deal. After tip, just my salmon burger alone was $22. At that price point, all the ingredients and flavor profile should be on point. After the first bite, I assumed they had forgotten the tomato, until I discovered this sad soggy red blob hiding under the salmon. There’s delicious fish flavor and then there’s that “fishy” taste. This salmon was off, leaving my mouth feeling like I had just left a sorority.

I didn’t even finish my fish sandwich. Every bite was just another sad reminder that I had just made the most unwise financial decisions of my life - this coming from someone who bought Crypto in 2021. I haven’t had buyer’s remorse this bad since deciding to finally buy the The Cosby show entire series boxset on blu-ray in 2016.

Feeling violated and unsatisfied, I decided to take matters into my own hands and set things right. I drove to McDonald’s and ordered a McFish Filet sandwich modded with a second filet, extra tarter, tomatoes, pickles, and lettuce. For $14 less than what I spent at Uneeda Burger, I enjoyed a far superior fish sandwich. When I spend $22 on a single burger, I should not have to go crying to McDaddy Ronald to make it all better. But he did. McBless that creepy capitalist clown.

Uneeda Burger? More like Uneeda figure out what kind of restaurant you are trying to be. For $24, I can get the best gourmet burger in the state (with fries and dipping sauces) at Tom Douglas’ Palace Kitchen, in a building that actually has walls.

If you want to charge gourmet prices, fair enough, but you’d better bring the quality. When I pay $22 on burger, I want to get schooled by the chef. I want to humbly accept that I can’t easily make a better burger at home. Unfortunately, at Uneeda Burger, the only luxury $22 buys you is eating a soggy sad sandwich without sides on...